Morning Coffee
by baby-rose15
Summary: Castle decided to write James Bond instead of Nikki Heat and so our Detective and Writer went their separate ways. Three years latter they run into each other again. Where do they go from there?
1. Prologue

**Hi everyone. So this is my first multi-chapter fic in the castle verse and I'm a little nervous about it because it's also AU but the idea gripped me and wouldn't go away. So thousands of words later I know where it's going now and it's time to start posting it. This begins at the end of Episode 2.05 _When the Bough Breaks_.**

* * *

><p><span>Prologue<span>

Case solved. All I wanted to do was breathe a sigh of relief. Now I could go home take a hot bath and read my book. Life could be as uncomplicated as that if I really wanted it to be. Nevertheless, it's not and there's the little matter of not knowing what was next for Castle. Nikki Heat had launched last night and there were rave reviews pouring in, but this was it he'd written the book and there was no need for him to follow me around anymore. Besides, he'd gotten the offer for writing three books for the Jams Bond series, and I could see the little twinkle in his eye when he'd mentioned it. He was so excited at the thought that nothing else really mattered he was going to be responsible for the future of James Bond. If that wasn't right up Richard Castle's alley than nothing was.

"Thank you Castle. I would have never been able to solve this case without your help." I told him as we descended the stairs into the lobby and he just looked at me shocked that I would ever say those words. "Well, ah, good luck on your new book. I know that you'll do it proud." I said as we came to a stop in the lobby.

"Thanks." Was all he managed to say as we looked at each other for what felt like eternity before he finally extended his hand to shake mine. I looked at it in disbelief that this was really how it was going to end, before giving up and shaking his hand. "You take care of yourself." He told me looking right into my eyes disappointment apparent in them even as a smile graced his face.

I couldn't help but smile back at him, realizing that this was really important to him. And, maybe it really was what he was meant to do. "I'm looking forward to reading your take on a certain British spy, Castle. I'm sure you will do a wonderful job of it just like all your other novels." I told him honestly. I had nothing left to lose, besides I'm fairly certain he already knew how much of a fan I was and had graciously never really mentioned it.

"Well Detective I'm flattered. I do believe that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me." And for once in his life he did look flattered and not like it was adding to his already sizable ego.

"The occasion called for it Castle since this is our last case together." I told him still trying to decide if I was happy or sad about this. My brain was telling me that this was cause to celebrate, my heart on the other hand felt like it was getting a little broken which was completely silly. I did what any sane detective would do, I sent him on his way. "It was nice getting to know you Castle," I held out a hand for him to shake again.

I was rewarded with both of his large hands wrapping around my, what now felt like, significantly smaller one. "A pleasure getting to know you Detective. Thank you for letting me follow you around." He said sincerely giving my hand a gentle squeeze before releasing my hand.

"Goodbye Castle." I managed to say without my voice cracking with emotion that I didn't really need to think about.

He responded in his usual writterly way, "Until we meet again Detective." And he turned on his heel and strode out of my life.

I watched him go torn between wishing that he would stay and absolutely relieved that I would never have to have CIA posited as a theory for every case again. It was certainly a chapter in my life, and one that I could say was quiet enjoyable. But as I made my way back to the squad car my head started a mantra of _you don't need Castle,_ which followed me all the way back to the precinct.

* * *

><p><strong>Well there's the first installment. Castle and Beckett are off on their own paths.<strong>

** I'd love to hear your thoughts no that much if you're inclined to share. Otherwise stay posted and there will be more soon.**

**Babyrose15  
><strong>


	2. Final Sheet

**Thanks for the response! I was so glad to see that so many of you were intrigued to see where this is going. I realized yesterday that I neglected to mention that Castle isn't mine (which is mildly depressing). But anyway they're not mine just in case you were wondering. Here it is the first full chapter:**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 1 – Final Sheet<span>

Lifting the final sheet out of the printer, I took a second look at it making sure there were no glaring errors before adding it to the bottom of the pile. Carefully turning them all over placing them in the provided manuscript box that had arrived a day earlier demanding that I fork over the final novel as it was three months overdue.

I took one last look at the front page before closing the box, saying goodbye to this chapter of my life. A certain British spy would be moving on to a new author that would take a different spin on his adventures. He would again be out of my control. But I suppose that was the allure of writing James Bond, the wanting to control the crazy plots, even if just for a little bit.

A horn blared on the street below my office, startling me into action. Scooping up my keys and slipping on my jacket, I grabbed the box heading out of the loft intent on delivering the final _double-oh-seven_ novel myself. Forestalling thinking about what my next project to be on the cab ride over. Choosing rather to muse over where Alexis would be going to school in fall, most of me secretly wishing that it would be close to home.

Before I really had time to worry about it though I was leaving my publisher's building standing on the sidewalk watching the world go by. Deciding that I would rather wander for a bit and enjoy New York's charms rather than hail a cab home, where I would just think about the reception of the last book and what my next character should be, I turned right and set off into the city

I wandered my way around town with no particular goal in mind ending up in a neighborhood that looked strangely familiar but I really couldn't place why. Deciding I should stop for a cup of coffee and some people watching to pass the time I ducked into Starbucks to grab a cup of coffee.

A glance at my at my watch told me Alexis would be home so I wouldn't actually need to stay here very long. She was an excellent distraction from the wandering thoughts relating to the future of my writing career.

As the line moved slowly forward, I took in the patrons around me. There was an early twenty-something old huddled in the corner. Her hair had been pulled up neatly but the venti coffee sitting in front of her and the anxiety from her job hunt had caused her to fuss it into a frizzed mess. She'd come after graduation and reaching the end of her savings and without a job. But she wasn't going to break down instead she was going to meticulously keep on applying to every job out there having faith that something would come along. The two businessmen in the corner were secretly planning to rob their employers blind and then disappear to a non-extradition country. It was their escape from the fact that they'd been trapped in the longest meeting ever.

The couple ordering now was visiting from a small town in the mid-west. It was the first time they'd ever been to the big city having driven two days cross country to get here. The Starbucks was the closest thing to familiar they'd come across so far. The girl was enamored by the big city, her boyfriend wished that people appreciate his personal bubble just a little bit more, I mused based on his annoyed face when someone brushed against him in the small shop.

Then there was the woman just in front of me. She had to be a model or an actress. That was clearly the most logical assumption I had taking in her mile long legs in dark denim with sky-high boots. Topped off with a blazer in a deep maroon with the sleeves rolled up contrasting beautifully with the auburn curls cascading down her back. She was probably in between photo shoots or auditions. But for a second my mind was whisked away imagining that she was a cop, the real life version of the Nikki Heat I'd left standing in a marble lobby years ago.

The auburn beauty stepped up to order and my mind wandered freely thinking about returning to the Nikki Heat story line now that Bond was done. Her phone rang as she stepped to the side, snapping me out of my reverie, "Beckett." She answered crisply.

Her eyes colliding with mine as I stared at her in disbelief, "Beckett?"

"Castle?" I can only assume that her face matched the shocked look on mine because she looked pretty shocked and my face felt a little frozen. Whoever was on the other end of the phone line, apparently was still talking and she held up a hand gesturing intently listening to the person on the other end. "Ok, text me the location I'll be there in twenty." She hit the end button on her phone biting her lip as she look up and me. "Hi." Was all she managed to get out.

"You look…" I sputtered incomprehensibly, "You look amazing." I managed to force out. I'd never been this tongue tied before but something about seeing the woman that I'd said good-bye to and everything that went with her three years ago, I felt like I'd been knocked sideways. "Your hair is stunning." Somehow managed to escape my lips, earning me a blush and a chuckle.

"Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself Castle." Of course, she had her wits about her when my brain felt like it had gone to jelly. "How are you?" She asked sincerely, a magnificent smile blooming across her face. I couldn't remember her smile ever being as entrancing before. God she was radiant, how could I have forgotten how radiant she was.

I cleared my throat trying to keep my mouth from running away with my mind, "I'm doing good wrapping up a project actually thought I'd take a stroll muse on the future of my writing career. How about you, I read about the shooting this summer." Clearly, my mouth was on a trajectory of its very own no matter what I did about it.

Her eyes grew a little cold for just a brief second, remembering something that I'm sure she wanted to keep locked up. "Good actually I got your flowers…" she paused pensively, "very Castle-esque and beautiful. What about Martha and Alexis?"

The light in her eyes came back and I was helpless not to answer the question. "Alexis is getting ready to go to college in the fall. Once she picks one of course, and mother is being mother. She started a drama school a few months ago. She keeps setting me up on dates with her students." It earned me a laugh, a rich wonderful noise that fell from her lips in amusement. How had I forgotten how magical that sound was?

Just then, the barista produced her coffee, "Kate?" he called and she swiveled to raise her hand accepting the steaming cup with a thank you before turning back to me. "Well I've got to run." She told me seeming sad to go.

For once, my mouth seemed to be working for me, "We should get coffee together sometime soon. Catch up." I offered.

The idea earned me another dazzling smile, "Yeah I'd really like that. I'd love to hear about what trouble you've been getting yourself into the last few years."

I clapped my hands together, "Excellent, do you still have my number?"

"Castle I'm a cop, even if I didn't have your number I could still get it." She chided.

She still had my number. That was all that I took out of that, "Well great let me know when your next day off is and we'll get a cup of coffee and discuss my mayhem and your murders." I couldn't help but leave it up to her. I wasn't going to push.

"Sounds good. But for now I've got to run I've got a scene waiting for me." She held out her hand.

"Murder never takes a break does it?" I asked, taking the offered hand, "It was good to run into you Detective." I told her honestly.

Another chuckle fell from her lips. "No it doesn't, and it was good to see you as well Castle."

"Call me about that coffee." I encouraged hoping that this wasn't going to be the last time I'd see her for another three years.

She looked at me for just a second, almost studying me trying to determine my intentions. She must have decided that they were good because she nodded, "I will. Bye Castle."

"Until next time Detective." I grinned watching her stride out of the Starbucks and climb into the cruiser parked at the curb. She flipped her hair over shoulder and I gave brief thanks to whatever convinced her to grow it out because as sassy as the short hair had been three years ago, the long hair was just stunning on her.

The cruiser pulled away from the curb and I sighed to myself hoping that she would call soon, "Sir are you going to order anything?" Came from my right and I jumped coming back to the Starbucks I'd been standing in. The line was gone and it was just me in front of the counter with two barista's watching me.

Suddenly I wasn't in the mood for coffee. "Thanks fella's, but I think I'm going to have to pass." I reached into my back pocket pulling out my wallet, retrieving a twenty sliding it into their tip jar, "For your troubles." I told the wide-eyed twenty year olds.

Then sliding my hands into my pockets I strode out into the crisp autumn whistling to myself, and looked around at the neighborhood I was in. The reason it was familiar coming back to me suddenly. I'd stopped the Starbucks in every morning on my way to the precinct three years ago. The twelfth was two blocks down and around the corner.

I briefly considered walking all the way home but my fingers were itching with all sorts of new ideas, they were just dying to type them out on a keyboard. Hailing a cab, I gave the loft's address and began scribbling nonsense reminders and plot ideas into my notebook the whole ride back.

"Hey dad!" Alexis called from the kitchen when I walked in, "Where've you been?"

Glancing up from the notebook in my hand, I smiled glad at least that my little girl was still home for a few more months. "Dropped off the final James Bond and took a walk." I leaned on the counter watching her move efficiently move around the kitchen preparing a snack.

"So how's it feel to say good bye to _double-oh-seven_?" She teased. I'd been moping about it for weeks not wanting to write the final chapter despite the fact that I'd had it outlined for months.

I thought about it for a second, and weirdly I wasn't as upset as I had been. "Actually I feel pretty good about it. I get to go back to my own characters. It will be a nice change of pace." I smiled playing back the charming laugh of a certain detective in my head.

Alexis' forehead crinkle, "Are you feeling ok? What happened to the man that has been sulking around in his bathrobe for weeks?"

I shrugged, straightening so I could pull of my coat and hang it in the hall closet. "It was an inspirational wander around the city." Alexis was still staring at me as if I'd gone nuts, "I ran into an old friend and it completely changed my outlook."

"And who would it be that has you so cheery?"

"Detective Beckett actually." I confessed just as the front door opened and my Mother breezed in.

"What is this I hear about Detective Beckett?" She asked intrigue sparkling in her eye.

Alexis smirked, "Dad ran into her at a coffee shop apparently and if possible he's more smitten with her this time around than he was last time."

"I am not." I tried to protest.

"Oh hunny I do hope you asked that girl out this time." My mother imparted her special brand of wisdom, pulling her gloves off with a flourish.

"For coffee actually on her next day off." I told them hoping that it would end the merciless ribbing a little bit sooner if I just told them everything.

Alexis smiled and scooped up her snack, "Say hi for me. I'm going to go finish of my homework," and she disappeared up the stairs. Leaving me in disbelief.

"Same goes for me," Martha told me going into the kitchen, "what are you up to for the rest of the night, kiddo?"

"Ah well I was thinking we should order Chinese for dinner…" I blinked reaction I was receiving so completely opposite of what I was expecting, "and I think I'm going to go do some writing."

That statement got me a reaction much closer to the one that I had been expecting earlier. Mom kind of froze for a second and peered around the outside open door of the fridge, "Really?"

"Really what?"

"You're going to go do some writing. You the king of procrastination, who doesn't even have a project at the moment, is going to do some writing?" She peered at me so skeptically that I almost thought I was doing something wrong.

Oh well let her have her fun, "I guess you could say I'm feeling inspired."

She just stared at me for a good long moment. Almost as though she was trying to decide if she should call the mental hospital. Eventually a smile appeared though, "I guess we'll be seeing the re-emergence of a Detective Heat?"

That's where my head was at the moment but I couldn't commit to it just yet. I needed to let the idea roll around in my head for a lot longer. Right now, however my fingers were dying to pour the words in my head on to white sheet of paper. "We'll see. For now I just have to follow the inspiration."

"Alright you go write I'll let you know when dinner arrives." She waved me off with that look of pride on her face that I wasn't going to contemplate for too long.

I closed the door to the office booting up my computer breathing a sigh of relief when the cursor blinked happily for me, waiting to transform my thoughts into words. Stretching out I collapsed into the office chair and let the thoughts flow onto the paper in front of me. _She strode into the coffee shop intent on being in and out as fast as possible. What she hadn't been expecting when the door opened was Jameson Rook to be sitting at the table directly across from the door just looking at her in disbelief…_

* * *

><p><strong>So now that you have more to go on what are your thoughts?<strong>

**See you soon.**

**abyrose  
><strong>


	3. Castle Flavored

Chapter 2 – Castle Flavored

I knew I'd arrived at the scene by the number of squad cars taking up the street. The ME's van was parked at an angle on the grass and there were uniforms prowling over the sidewalks surrounding the small park. I took a deep breath steeling myself for what was to come, trying to block the goofy grin on Castle's face out of my mind for at least the next few hours.

Opening my door, I climbed out into the crisp autumn air, and sounds of an ongoing evidence search. Ducking the evidence tape and strode over to where Esposito and Ryan were standing, "What have we got boys?"

"Hey." They said in unison before Esposito laid out the details. "Late twenties female, white, judging by her clothes and jewelry she comes from money but we don't have any id yet because there's no purse or phone on her. That guy," He pointed at the man with a briefcase talking with a uniform at the edge of the park, "found her when he took the park as a short cut home from work."

I looked down and the young women whose life had ended far too early. She was sitting on the park bench; at least someone had tried to sit her on the bench. Her body was lifelessly slumped on the peeling paint of the neglected bench. "So how'd she die?" I directed to Lanie.

"Well, she didn't die here. I can tell you that much." Lanie answered without looking at me carefully examining the body.

"How can you tell?"

Lanie stretched looking at the body and the back at her clipboard. "Well she was posed like this after rigor mortus passed. Although why you would pose a dead body sitting on a bench is beyond me. Also there are no bodily fluids anywhere, at all."

We all learned a little bit closer to get a good look. Sure enough, the woman was whiter than snow. A startlingly contrast to her nearly jet-black hair, and a sure sign that there was no blood left in her body. "Well then how'd she die?" Ryan asked.

Lanie frowned, frustrated. "I don't know. I'm going to have to take her back to the lab because as of right now I don't even see where the blood was drained from."

"Ok Ryan, talk to the guy who found her and start a canvass of the park maybe will get lucky and someone will have seen whoever left her," I directed.

"You got it boss." Ryan called, already heading towards the businessman who was checking his watch.

Esposito surveyed the scene asking, "What do you think?"

"That we have sick bastard on our hands. Who else kills a pretty girl keeps her long enough to drain all the bodily fluids and overcome rigor mortus. Then takes her to a park and poses her on a park bench." This poor girl, she probably has everything to live for and it was snatched away from her before she even really had a chance. "Do we have anything else Lanie? Time of death? Prints?"

Waving the techs with the body bag over Lanie took one last look at the vic, "She's got prints and dental work so we'll be able to get an id on her in a few days at least. Although my guess is that someone is missing her so you should check missing persons. As for time of death, I would put it at 2 to 3 days ago but I have to figure out how she died first so I'll let you know."

"So what was that you said about Castle when you answered the phone?" Esposito asked, and from the look on his face, I could tell he'd been waiting patiently until there was a break in the action. Mostly because he was hoping to get as many details as possible. Given that, Lanie was lingering and Ryan was heading back over. They'd planned an ambush.

I tried giving them a glare for a few seconds, but they didn't seem inclined to drop it. I sighed sliding my hands into my pockets deciding to give them as little information as possible, "I ran into him at the Starbucks by the precinct when I answered the phone."

"And..." Ryan prompted.

"And we said hi."

Lanie snorted, "Really girlfriend if you think we're going to let you get away with just that you've got another thing coming."

"He said that we should get coffee on my next day off."

"You are going to have coffee with him." Esposito decreed, and Ryan nodding vigorously in agreement.

"Listen to you guys. You're like kids who've found the puppy that ran away two weeks ago." I chided.

Ryan was the one that fired back this time. "Say what you want Beckett but we liked Castle and he was good for you. So on your next day off if you don't call him then I will for you."

"It's not as if he was my boyfriend and we had an irrational break up, guys. He was just shadowing me to get ideas for his book ..."

"...and helping out on cases..." Lanie.

"...and making sure you ate..." Esposito.

"...and making you laugh..." They all added one after the other. "Seriously Beckett what have you got to lose, he'll even buy the coffee," Ryan finished.

I huffed at them starting back towards the cars, "Well as I was planning on calling him for the coffee I suppose I'll just have to let you think you've won." I could feel Lanie's grin from here and behind me I could hear the boys high fiving, "but if we ever want to get to that day off then we're going to have to find out to what happened to our vic." I reached my car laying a hand the roof as I opened the door. They were all just standing there smiling like fools. "Go." Suddenly there was a flurry of action.

God, who would have thought that even after all this time they were still so invested in the idea of Castle and I, let alone be so smiley about it. Then I caught my own reflection in the rear view mirror as I started and the car. Well shit I was all smiley that's why they were.

I leaned back in the seat for just a minute. It had been really good to see him. One of those serendipitous moments where everything feels like it will work out. In my mind, I pictured the absurdly large bouquet of orange lilies that had appeared the day after I'd woken up in the hospital with a note that read, "_My dear detective you are an inspiration to us all._" He hadn't even signed it but I knew it was him. Just like when the new James Bond books arrived at the precinct without a note but before their release, I knew it was him.

It had been a rough year, my mom's case, 3KX, Montgomery's death, and my own shooting. The thought making my own scars pull uncomfortably. Then there was the new, completely by the book, Capitan Victoria Gates. Taking one last look in the mirror, damn it I deserved to smile. If the prospect of having coffee with a charming, funny, entertaining and attractive man made me smile then good for me. Even if that man was Castle.

I started the car looking out at the park still barred by police tape and uniforms as CSU swept the scene. My next day off would have to wait until we knew what had happened here though. Focusing on the task ahead, I pulled out of the parking spot and made my way to the station.

Three days later, I was standing in front of three murder boards. Each one with a different victim, different time line, different neighborhood, different social circles, different careers, different everything. The only thing these women had in common was that they were all 29 turning 30 in a few weeks and they'd all died from being bled out slowly after receiving a large dose of muscle tranquilizers and anticoagulants. The only evidence of which was found in the muscle tissue and the small but deep incision made in the femoral artery. Then they were placed on a park bench to be found during rush hour.

I leaned against my desk, tapping the marker against the palm of my hand, staring, trying to discern something that would help us. Ryan walked up looking run ragged, carrying two cups of coffee. I realized self-consciously that I must look a little run down myself. Gratefully I accept the mug he extended appreciating briefly, that if it weren't for Castle I'd still be drinking precinct swill. But as it was there was an fancy machine and seemingly endless supply of quality coffee for the 12th precincts homicide break room.

"It has to be a serial killer." Ryan sighed, cradling his cup like a lifeline.

"How is he even picking them?" I starred at the board hoping that some small detail would jump out at me. "The only thing they've got in common is their birthdates. Even those aren't the same they're just close."

"That and it will be their 30th." Esposito added walking up to join us.

"But how does he find them? What's his motive? How the hell are we supposed to catch him if the only defining factor is that they're turning 30 around the same time?" I ranted. "What are we supposed to do just wait for the next body to be found tomorrow morning?"

"We've got the whole police force keeping an eye out for him. A squad car on every patch of grass with a bench in the city." Ryan soothed like a levelheaded brother.

Esposito revved, "Besides the bastard will make a mistake one of these days,"

"He's already killed three, how many more before he makes that mistake." I snapped this was driving me crazy.

"We need a crazy theory," Ryan said looking at me.

I knew what that look meant. I knew what he wanted me to do. "No." I said stubbornly. I wanted that coffee to just be about me and an attractive funny man, not about some grizzly psychopath.

"It might give us some place to start." Esposito added.

"He doesn't work with us anymore," I protested. "You think he'd be willing to help us out."

Esposito just chortled, "Clearly you're not remembering the same Castle I am, because the Castle I knew would be dying for an invite."

"Besides he wouldn't do it to just help us out, he'd do it to help you out." Ryan added. These two, like Tweedle Dee, and Tweedle Dumb were ganging up on me.

I looked at the boards with the pictures of three innocent women. They were right, no doubt, he'd have a ridiculous theory for me within seconds and maybe it would give us someplace different to look. "Gates will never go for it."

"Who says she has to know just meet him for coffee and take the files. Don't bring him here." Esposito reasoned.

"I'll think about it." I responded softy. It was all I could promise them. Draining the last of my coffee, I tried so hard not to blame this case for ruining what I felt had to be an unanticipated second chance. Maybe it would still work out. I couldn't mourn something that had ever existed.

"Now what?" Ryan asked, not tearing his eyes from the boards.

"You go home and get some sleep you'll be better with fresh eyes in the morning." Captain Gates made her appearance and for the first time she seemed to be more of a captain caring about her team and less of a hardass caring about regulation and close rates.

"Yes, sir." We said in unison moving away from the boards to pull on jackets and head home for the night.

"Beckett," Gates commanded, "If you think he can help, whoever he is, we owe it to these girls to try." I looked at the woman who could only really be described as steel and see for the first time that there were a few cracks.

I'll think about it." That was all I could promise.

The next morning I found myself watching the techs load the next body found on a bench fitting the exact parameters of the other three. "He has to already have two more women, one dead and another slowly dying." Ryan said as we waited by the cars.

"When did she show up?" I asked trying not to think about Ryan's observation.

Esposito flipped through his notes, "The squad car left for a robbery in progress at 5:42 am and she was found at 6:17 am."

"He was watching and waiting."

"Looks that way." The boys agreed.

"Beckett, I know it's not what you were hoping for. Heck it's not what any of us were hoping for but..." Ryan started

I didn't want to hear it. They were right we had to do so something different because whoever he was certainly wasn't going to, "I have to make a call." I shoved off the cruiser walking to a deserted section of the park, before even dialing the phone.

He picked up on the second ring, "Castle." I could hear his customary grin through the phone.

"Hey Castle. It's Detective Beckett." I said trying not to mentally beat myself up too much for this.

"Kate," He sounded so wonderfully thrilled, "is it your day off already?"

"Not yet." Not yet, but I desperately wished it was. "But I'd like to take you up on that coffee later today if I could."


	4. Murder Boards

Chapter 3 – Murder Boards

"Grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar free vanilla, and a grande caramel macchiato, please." I asked the barista pulling my wallet out to pay. I was early to the same Starbucks that I'd run into Kate at four days ago.

She'd called this morning to take me up on the coffee offer. There was an edge to her voice that said it wasn't just about the coffee when she'd asked. I hadn't pushed on the phone though. I wasn't going to complain though, if she wanted to meet for a cup of coffee, then we could meet for a cup of coffee. We were meeting at two and in my excitement to see her I'd gotten there a few minutes early knowing that she'd probably get held up at work and be a few minutes late. So I'd taken the time to order our coffees scouting out the table in the corner was still vacant and no one else was coming in.

"Rick?" the barista held up the two cups out to me with a lifted eyebrow.

"Thanks." I took the cups with a smile turned to make my way to the table. The bell over the door tinkled as a blast of autumn air swept into the shop, bringing with it an auburn beauty. Her hair was in a knot at the base of her neck, tendrils escaping to frame her face. The navy of her military jacket setting off her coloring just perfectly. Walking over to her, I held out the cup, "One grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar free vanilla for the detective."

I was rewarded with a grin, "How'd you remember that?" She took the cup with her free hand.

I cocked my head towards the empty table hoping that she would know to follow. "I paid attention and I have a great memory." I winked, setting down my coffee so I could shrug out of my coat and take a seat, just watched her smile, and roll her eyes. She took the seat across from me setting her folder on the table. "So what do I owe the pleasure of your company before your day off?"

"Castle..." she looked upset as she sighed my name, wrapping her hands around the coffee cup drawing strength from its warmth. "Castle, I don't want to ask you this... I wanted to have coffee with you to catch up. To talk to you."

I don't really think I'd ever seen her look so torn up over something. "Kate, whatever it is just ask. We can talk any time, if you need something I'm happy to help." I reached out laying a hand over her wrist. She froze just briefly looking at my hand and then back at me before taking a second to take a sip of her coffee.

She pulled the folder in front of her. "I'm sorry about this Castle, I really am." Then she sighed opening the folder revealing four headshots that I knew were copies of the ones on her murder board in the precinct. "We're at a dead end, Castle. These four women were kidnapped, drugged, and bled out slowly, before being posed on a park bench for someone to find on their commute."

She spread the photos out for me. Sadness and frustration radiated from her. "So what can I do to help?" I asked.

"We need a theory. Any theory. We were hoping that you would come up with one. A crazy theory would be fine. We just need somewhere different to look." She asked. "I know it's crazy and it's the last thing that I would ever do, asking you for a theory even a crazy theory. But we're desperate Castle, there's been a new vic every day this week and we've got nothing."

I looked at her, and down at the women she'd spread before me. "What do they have in common?"

"Nothing, besides they're turning 30 in a few weeks." She sighed.

I looked at the women; they really were different even if all I had was their appearances to go off. One with shockingly dark hair against alabaster skin, the second a dyed blonde, tanned, and too much make up, the third with piercings all over her face and purple hair, and the fourth with frizzy mousy brown hair and glasses.

I looked at her. Watched her as she looked at the photos. I knew that look. I remembered it. It was the one she had when she was trying to see something that just wasn't there. "Ok I'll see what I can come up with." I told her, trying to take another sip of coffee only to discover that I'd already finished it.

She looked so relieved at my words, "Thank you Castle. Thank you so much."

"Just one question?"

"Anything." She smiled.

"Why didn't you just ask me to come into the precinct?" I couldn't figure out the reasoning behind that.

She leaned back in her chair drinking her coffee. "The new captain is..." she paused searching for the right word, "...she's by the book, and you're…"

"…decidedly, not by the book." I finished the thought for her.

"Exactly." She nodded with an approving smile, closing the folder in front of her. "I've made copies of our notes and everything else associated with the case." She pushed the folder over to me. "If you come up with anything let me know."

"Of course," I told her pulling the folder to me and opening it so I could thumb through the pages.

"Thank you, Rick."

"Any time."

She stood buttoning her jacket back up, "I have to get going, but just give me a call if you come up with anything." She leaned down and brushed a kiss softly across my cheek. "And on my next day off we'll actually sit and talk about something other than murder and mayhem and have that coffee."

I grinned. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Bye Castle."

"Until next time Detective Beckett." Earning me an affectionate headshake as she left the shop.

I gathered up the folder's contents pausing only briefly to look at all the photos one more time. In my head, I could hear my mother telling me that a Starbucks was no place to pour through crime scene photos and police data. With a smile, I chucked my empty cup and tucked the folder under one arm exiting the coffee shop to hail a cab.

###

"Dad, what are you doing?" I snapped my head up to find Alexis standing in the doorway looking at my office and murder board that were covered in facts and pictures from the case.

I glanced at the clock realizing that it was coming up on nine-thirty, and I'd been closeted in my office since I'd gotten home this afternoon around three. "Alexis. What's up?"

She came into the room and perched herself on the armrest of the armchair, attempting not to disrupt any of the papers, "Well, I got home like an hour ago and I hadn't seen you and figured that you had a fit of inspiration." She looked around the room taking in the disaster that had appeared in the span of an afternoon, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Dad what are you working on?"

"I had coffee with Detective Beckett this afternoon." I answered evasively.

"And you decided that you would come up with an elaborate serial killer for your next book?"

I sighed taking in the damage around the room. I'd been looking for the one detail that would make the story make sense but I just couldn't find it there was nothing. I couldn't see how they were connected besides their birthdays were coming up. "She asked for help on a case."

Alexis made a face. She'd known that I enjoyed following Kate around but she knew that it was dangerous. I guess part of her had been relieved to have me go back to just writing and solving only the crimes my imagination could come up with. "Are you sure that's safe dad?"

"Of course, Sweetie I'm just looking through the file just trying to see if I can find something that Kate and the boys missed."

"Is that what you were hoping to get out of running into her again? Going back to solving crimes?" For a girl that often that doesn't often get confused she looked baffled. But the question made me think about it properly.

"No." Was the conclusion that I came to. "No, it's not what I was hoping for. But it's reminded me that I really enjoyed doing it." That earned me a cocked head, "If it makes you feel better I don't think that it was what Detective Beckett was hoping coffee to be about either."

She contemplated that for a moment surveying the room some more. "Well it looks like you haven't been much help either since you haven't found this missing piece."

Leaning back in my chair I sighed in frustration. "It just doesn't make sense. The only thing these girls had in common was that they were turning 30 within the next month."

"Were they single?" She got up coming over to look at the murder board tapping on each of them to expand the facts.

"Yeah they were. But one was recently single, another has been single for a few years, the third didn't seem to have had any dating life at all, and the fourth was a serial one night stander."

"Ew, Dad."

"What? you asked and I am desperate to find something." I shrugged.

Alexis studied the board for a while. "Did they want to be single?"

"I have no idea. What are you thinking?" I could see the wheels spinning in that pretty little head of hers.

"Well the thirty thing and the single thing, by now most people would have joined a dating website. At least a free one, whether out of their own desperation, a friend made them do it, or it's a good place to go for easy hook ups." She pointed to the picture of the blonde.

"But why thirty?"

"It's something that would be on their profile you'd think and it's a cut off age?" She made a questioning face, "I don't really know, but it certainly can't do any harm to look into their computer history and dig a little bit for dating websites. Maybe the killer is someone that's been rejected by all of them for a uniform reason."

"Like he's ugly?"

"No, it would have to be a plausible reason for them not to talk to him or to turn him down. Something they could tell him. Something that comes back to their own age issues."

"He's too old? Too young?" I suggest the wheels starting to click into place.

"I guess for all we know you've managed to find a psychotic 80 year old with a helper that doesn't appreciate being told no." She smiled. "I should go finish my homework."

"Ok Sweetie. Thanks for your help." I pulled her to me placing a kiss on her head.

"Any time, Dad." She untangled herself leaving the office, pausing at the door. "Just be safe dad that's all I ask."

"Aren't I always?" I waggled my eyebrows, watched her grin, and shake her head like a parent indulging their small child as she headed out to work on her own homework. She made it half way up the stairs before I got my phone out and ringing in my ear.

"Beckett." The crisp name came across the line.

"I found something that is at least worth looking into," I told her without preamble.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Do you want me to tell you or would you like to come over and find out?" I could see her in my mind's eye trying to decide which would be more worth her while.

"I'll come over. It's not like anything is happening here." I could hear her shuffling around. "I'll be there in 15, Castle."

"You remember where it is?"

"I'm a cop Castle."

"And therefore great at knowing directions and horrible at getting anywhere in a timely fashion without the gumball."

"The department upgrade the squad cars. They got us GPS." She teased. "I'll be there in 15 unless I decide to use the gumball." With that, she hung up leaving me with a grin on my face until I looked around the room my eyes resting on the murder board.

She would need some coffee. I extricated myself from the desk chair and made my way into the kitchen booting up the coffee maker and going over to the fridge to pull some snack stuff out, the fact that I'd missed dinner making itself apparent.

The knock came just as I was putting the finishing touches on the coffee. Smoothing my hair down I opened the door to a devastatingly beautiful detective. She hadn't changed since this afternoon but she'd let her hair down and it fell around her shoulders curling with abandon. My breath caught in my throat, and I was stuck by the thought that she should have never cut it short. "Hi."

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>

**Babyrose**


	5. The Loft

**You guys are making me blush! Thank you for the response. This chapter is a little bit shorter but I thought you'd all appreciate it. Castle's not mine, in case you forgot.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 4 – The Loft<span>

It felt bizarre to walk across the lobby of his building again. Particularly when his doorman still recognized me with a nod and "Detective." On the elevator, I stood taking deep breaths watching the floors fall away, when the doors opened after far too short a time I had to remind myself that I was a NYPD Detective and that I was here to stop a serial killer. That reminder carried me all the way to the door, and even got me to knock on the door.

My resolve failed when he opened the door looking a little bit rumpled in a plaid button down. I flashed back to him staring at himself in the play back of a camera saying, "I really am ruggedly handsome." What I hadn't been expecting was the stunned look on his face. He starred at me for a solid minute before he finally said, "Hi."

"Hi..." I swallowed, "you said you found something."

"Oh yeah." He shook his head and stepped back out of the way, "Come in I have a cup of coffee ready for you." He led me through the door and to the kitchen where there were two cups of steaming coffee prepared.

Unwrapping my scarf, I pulled it off draping it and my jacket over the back of a chair as I followed him into the kitchen. "Where are Alexis and Martha?"

Handing me my cup, "Mom is at performance for one of her a students and Alexis is upstairs finishing her homework. It's actually thanks to her that I even had this break through." He smiled proud of her. "How are things at the precinct?" He dived in not giving me a second to ask what the breakthrough was.

"We've got nothing Ryan and Esposito have been running down every friend they had seeing how they connect we've got nothing. I've been tracking their movements for the last six months seeing if there was some activity they would have interacted at. Still nothing." I took a large sip of the coffee. I'd forgotten how much better it was when he made it. The machine in the precinct helped a lot on the quality but it was way better when he made it.

"Well in that case maybe this will help." He scooped up his coffee and led the way over to his office. I stood on the threshold as he moved papers off one of the armchairs making room for me. The room hadn't changed much since I'd been here last. The only difference was the framed covers of his bond books and the easel with the cover for the one he'd just finished.

Going over to his high tech murder board he ran his fingers over it quickly to pull up the pictures and bios of the four girls we had so far. I settled in the chair he'd cleared, cradling my coffee just watching him work, realizing that not much had changed since I'd seen him last. "Ok," he turned to me, "So I was talking to Alexis complaining that the only thing these girls had in common was their age and she asked if they were all single."

"Castle we went over this at the precinct it doesn't change anything they haven't dated any one in common." I told him beginning to feel like maybe this was a bust too, but at least he had given me an excuse to see him again. It put us in familiar territory, rusty territory, but familiar.

This didn't change his view on it, "I know you have but what if they were all on dating site."

I shook my head, "There was nothing about that in any of their email accounts."

"Well most people set up a separate account for that kind of site. That way it's not spamming their normal address and it's harder to get information on them."

"Ok, so how did he find them?"

"They must have been girls he met in person and they rejected him after that."

"That doesn't explain the turning thirty within weeks of each other."

"Thirty is a big birthday something people usually stress over. Particularly if they're still single."

"And it's on the cusp on an age group. The websites transition you from the eighteen to twenty-eight year olds to the twenty-nine to forty year olds." He smiled triumphantly.

"Good work Alexis." I grinned, knowing that it would be a blow to his ego unfortunately, it only seemed inflate it further.

"I know she's great."

I shook my head. "Ok, well I'm going to call Ryan see if he can run this down." I set my coffee down pulling out my phone wandering into the other room as he shut down the murder board and gathered up all the papers putting them back in the folder I'd given him early that day.

By the time, I got off the phone with Ryan he was just standing in the doorway of the office watching me pace his living room. I stopped too look at him, "Ryan's going to look into it... Thanks for the help Castle."

"I'm happy to be of service." He smiled, "I just hope that it gets you somewhere we can't have women just about to turn thirty showing up every day."

"I'd forgotten that you were good at this." I told him sliding my hands into my pockets mimicking his position.

"I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed it."

We just stood there for a few moments starting at each other. Energy crackling in the room, neither of us doing anything to break it. Until my phone traitorously rang in my pocket. Sighing I fished it out and answered, "Beckett." I listened to Esposito on the other end, "You're serious, we got something?" I turned to find my jacket and scarf wrapping the one around my neck with one hand, "Ok I'll be back in ten minutes."

Hanging up the phone I looked up and found Castle looking at me in disbelief, "I was right?"

I nodded, "Well Alexis was but yes."

"Well what are you waiting for?" He asked staring at me.

I laughed, "You. It's your lead you should come in and help us catch the bastard."

"Seriously." He looked at me blankly as I pulled on my coat.

"Well not if you're going to stand around and not get some shoes on."

"Right, shoes and coat." He scrambled past me towards the front closet. "Alexis!" He yelled up the stairs.

Within seconds the red head appeared on the stairs in sweats with her hair piled on her head, "Detective Beckett, hi."

"Hey. How are you?" I asked marveling at how much she seemed to have grown up in the last two years.

"Oh good," She gestured to her father how seemed to be having difficulty tying his shoes in his excitement. "I take it I gave you a good lead."

"Lex, I'm going to go to the precinct with Detective Beckett, call me if you need anything." He said finally standing up and pulling on a coat.

"Alright," she smiled, "be safe and I'll see you tomorrow." Leaning over the railing so that she could give him a hug. "It was good to see you Beckett."

"Same to you and I'll have him home in a few hours," I promised.

"Sounds good. Don't get into too much trouble." She called over her shoulder heading back up the stairs.

"Alright Castle lets go." I opened the door for him marveling at how excited he looked. His eyes were glittering and there was a child like glee on his face.

* * *

><p><strong>I'd love to hear your thoughts! This story has completely gripped me and I am just so happy you guys like it.<strong>

**Babyrose**


	6. Stale Coffee

**Hi All! Thank you for reading it's wonderful to hear your thoughts on this. I'm going to share a personal thought on the series that might help you understand my thinking, understanding and direction. Beckett, Ryan, and Esposito are an excellent set of detectives perfectly capable of solving crimes with and without Castle. There's more to this theory of mine but I'll let the story reveal that. **

**ABC, Andrew Marlowe, the cast and the rest of the Castle family own the show. I'm just messing with it.**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Chapter 5 – Stale Coffee

The precinct smelled exactly the same: sweat, polyester, and stale coffee. It looked just as I remembered too. The murder boards were lined up right where they always had been, covered in meticulous handwriting, pictures, and a time line. Ryan was at a computer scrolling through something, and Esposito was standing over his shoulder, flipping through a file. It felt so strange to be back here. It was one of those places that once you leave you never think you'll come back to but when you do, it's exactly as you left it.

There was no time for feelings of déjà vu though as Kate strode out of the elevator in front of me pulling off her gloves making a beeline for the her desk. "So what do we have?" She called to them as I scrambled out of the elevator to keep up with her.

"Well it looks like they were each part of a dating website." Esposito answered before noticing me, "Hey Castle." He extended his hand, "Good to see you bro."

"Good to see you too." I grasped his hand shaking it firmly, "And good to see you as well Ryan. I hear you've got a wedding coming up."

Ryan for his part looked excited reaching out to shake my hand, "Good to see you too. And yes I do it's a little more than a month away."

Kate for her part was trying not to look too annoyed. "Alright, now that were all reacquainted they were all part of a dating website?" She prompted.

Ryan jumped in, "Yeah they were all part of different ones though. Castle was right they had them set up with separate email addresses. It looks like they were all using them actively though. I've got tech going through all their communication on it seeing if any of them had bad interactions or anyone that would raise a flag. They're sending me the results as we get them."

"If this is how this guy works he must be feeling pretty desperate to turn to dating websites, and not just one but at least four. Evidently that's not working out for him." I said.

Kate looked at me, "He must be pretty sick if his idea of revenge is to kill the girls that turn him down."

"But only the ones that are turning thirty." Esposito added.

Ryan cleared his throat, "Well maybe those are the only ones that he's interested in dating."

"Like he's the savior of twenty-nine year old women, being willing to marry them before they reach the dreaded 30." I spun the theory.

"Ok Castle, when I asked for a crazy theory I didn't mean an absurd theory." Kate looked at me her eyes sparkling with amusement.

I just shrugged, "They're not mutually exclusive."

"What's not mutually exclusive?" A voice broke through our small circle. The three detectives turned to face the woman standing just feet from them.

"Nothing Captain we were just discussing some theories that aren't important." Ryan piped up like the youngest brother trying to keep everyone else out of trouble because he knows his punishment will be the least severe. Which could only mean one thing this steely looking women was the new Captain.

Pushing off the desk I stood up and extended my hand, "You must be the new Captain. I'm Richard Castle." I said trying to at least make a decent first impression on the women Beckett had only described as 'by-the-book.'

The older woman paused briefly looking me over before taking my hand and pumping it firmly once, "Captain Gates." She responded before turning to Kate, "This is the person that could help?" The question sounded incredulous, "a crime novelist."

I thought about jumping in and telling her that I offered my assistance, but I didn't have too Kate was going to stand her ground. "Sir, he was very helpful when he followed me around a few years ago. He thinks outside the box which is exactly what I thought we needed on this case."

"Besides he's already given us a better lead than anything the rest of us have come up with all week, Sir." Esposito added.

Silence descends over our little group as the three detectives and I waited for the verdict from the icy captain. She for her part just studied me and then the murder boards on our left. "Detective you're responsible for him." She glared at Kate.

"Nothing new there Captain." She smiled. "We'll keep you updated on the case."

"See that you do." With that, Captain Gate's disappeared into her office.

"That is Captain Victoria 'Iron' Gates." Ryan answered my raised eyebrows. "She came in after the Captain…" He trailed off.

It was awkwardly quiet for a few moments before Ryan's computer dinged signaling an incoming email. "It looks like we got something." He said scrolling through the email. "They've each got at least two questionable interactions on their accounts. Our serial one night stander has at least fifteen they're still combing through her account."

"Ok so now what? They've each got accounts on different services it's not like the crazy people will automatically have the same user name." Esposito groaned.

"Well people all have a certain style of writing. Their ways of phrasing, what abbreviations they use, if they're a comma abuser…" They all just looked at me, with faces varying from amusement to utter confusion, "What words are my thing."

Kate's eyes were sparkling with amusement, "Well you wanted to be helpful Castle. Sounds like we could use a writer's eye."

Ryan had in the mean time hit the print button and came over with a stack of paper. "Here you go."

Taking the stack I looked at the three of them sporting silly grins, "You guys aren't going to help?"

"Yeah once you figure out who they have in common between the two of girls then we'll comb through the other ones." Kate smiled at me.

"What are you guys going to do?" I said looking at the stack of paper.

Ryan and Esposito looked at each other, "Well, we were going to get something to eat." Simultaneously they stood and when pulling on their coats. "Do you want anything?" Ryan asked.

Kate shook her head, "Nope we're good." She said waving them away.

I looked at her incredulously, "What about you? Aren't you going to help?"

She looked at me contemplating for a moment, before shaking her head and grinning. "Go set up in the conference room and figure out who our dating website serial killer is. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Oh kay…" I tried not to sound like I was whining but it didn't really work out as I stood trying to balance the stack of paper as I made my way into the conference room. It seemed they'd gotten new chairs in my absence.

I had the table covered in papers. Organized by victim then the suspicious correspondence and I was reading through the first victim when Beckett came into the room carrying two cups of coffee. "I figured that we could use more of this." She set a cup down in front of me, picking up the other message thread from the same victim. "Anything so far?"

I shrugged, "No, but I figure that we should read through the two victims with less guys pissed off at them and then try and figure out which one they have in common with the other victims."

"Sounds like a plan." She took a sip of her own coffee and we fell into silence trading message threads when we finished. It was over an hour before we made it into the second victim. Each taking a different conversation thread again. She was on to the second page of her new thread when she paused and pulled the first conversation she'd read out and she started comparing the two. "I've think I've got it." She exclaimed eyes darting back and forth between the two conversations.

Relieved and at having a direction in the meaningless online flirting that was killing me, I got up to read over her shoulder. "Thank god." I groaned.

"On this website it seems that his user name is _JEB1534_ and on this site it's _baller81_. Writes in short sentences that get more and more disjointed the angrier he gets."

"Also it seems that his catch phrase is, 'then I'm your savior baby.'" I mimicked vomiting.

She chuckled, "It seems sort of sweet at first but he gets pretty angry using it as a threat towards the end of the threads."

"Here's what I don't get his interaction with the first victim happen over two years ago, the second only a few months ago. So why now? What about this week that changed everything, that he had to start collecting them and killing them." I said plopping down in the seat next to them.

"I don't know Castle. We'll get a tech to track the IP address of these user names and we'll try and figure out which one of the last girls' threads is the same guy." She said with a small smile picking up the phone in the middle of the desk listening to it ring. "Yes, this is Detective Beckett can we get a computer tech up here."

Within minutes, I was watching her describe what we needed to a twenty something computer nerd that was feverishly taking note. I couldn't help but smile as she calmly detailed what we needed; oblivious to the fact that this kid would trip over himself to do anything right for her. The kid left with promises of having something within the hour. "What?" she asked when she caught me smiling.

"Nothing." I shrugged going back to searching for the revolting 'then I'm your savior baby' line. When I peaked over the edge of the papers I was reading though she was smiling as she read.

It was nearly 45 minutes later that I struck gold. "Got it, its _0NEof9_," I kept skimming it he was getting progressively more violent, "Yikes, he was really angry." I handed her the stack.

"Well serial killers aren't known for their sanity." She smiled shaking her head as she flipped through the pages, "I'll let IT know." She stood wandering out of the conference room to her desk, completely wrapped up in the case as she dialed the phone. I decided that it was time for more coffee so I made my way into the break room pleased to see that the machine and beans that I'd been supplying we're still in use.

Carrying the cups out to her desk earned me that dazzling smile. I don't remember my heart beating so erratically when she used to smile at me. Then again, maybe it was the lack of exposure to that particular smile that was my downfall. She hung up the phone talking a sip smiling at me. "IT is running up against some blocks but they should have something soon the additional username will be helpful."

She leaned back casually, "So Castle, is being back in the precinct as cool as it was the first time?"

I contemplated the question for a second, "Different." I concluded which only earned me a quirked eyebrow, encouraging me to explain. "It feels like I never left. I still get along with the guys, the coffee machine is the same, and my partner is being nicer than ever. The only thing that's different is the boss; the new boss is… shall we say less than friendly."

Kate set down her cup. "She's a good Captain just wants the precinct to run efficiently and by the book. Sometimes it's cumbersome, but it's in our best interest. She's just not the same as Montgomery, it takes some adjustment."

I shrugged looking at her sensing her sadness, and attempt to cover it up, "While why we're waiting…" but I never finished the sentence before her phone was ringing.

She scooped up the phone cradling it against her ear while she scrawled an address down on the pad in front of her. "Thanks," she hung up, "alright we've got an address uniforms are already on the way, let me just call the boys."

I sighed to myself knowing that this was the end. Standing up, I pulled on my jacket. "Well Detective it has been a pleasure."

She looked up at me puzzled pulling her gun from the top right hand drawer sliding it into her holster. "You're not going to come?"

"I… well I… are you sure?" Was all that I managed to stutter.

I must have looked like a goon though because she just laughed and strode towards the elevator, "Come on Castle." She called over her shoulder and I tripped over myself to catch up with her as the doors slid open. "Besides I think we might even have a vest for you somewhere." She stated with a mischievous glint in her eye.

* * *

><p><strong>Now I'm sure you all have even more thoughts and theories about this, which I would love to hear so hit the link at the bottom and let me know.<strong>

**Babyrose  
><strong>


	7. Therapy

**You guys are so fabulous with all the alerts! Confession time: I'm horrible at case stuff, I do fluff the fact that there is this much case in one of my stories is a new record. Just a heads up. Castles still not mine.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 6 - Therapy<span>

The couch was warm and sinfully comfortable as I settled into it, kicking off my shoes, tucking my feet under me. Somehow being in this room meant that I was going to spill my secrets to the man across from me. At first, it had really irked me that somehow he was always able to question my most basic motives without a flicker of emotion.

"How was your week Kate?" it rumbled from him in that soothing manner that just made you want to tell him the best and the worst of the week, because he would know exactly what to say, even if it was nothing at all.

I looked at my knees briefly evaluating my week, how to describe this topsy -truvy week. I settle on, "It was a lot," but I know without him even prompting me that that wasn't going to be enough. "We had a horrible case, but I ran into Richard Castle." I confess unable to stop the smile forming on my face.

"The mystery author?" I don't question that this is the fact that he latches onto, not the case but the unusual thing that happened. I nod in confirmation looking out the window thinking of our last interaction. I think I've finally peaked the therapist's interest for the first time in all of my sessions. He's leaning forward in his chair like a middle schooler waiting to get more information. The juxtaposition makes me laugh a little bit, "I take it you already know Mr. Castle."

"He shadowed me for nearly a year…" I paused thinking about it, "god nearly three years ago it feels like just yesterday," I marvel.

Dr. Burke is puzzling something out for his very own though. "So you're the inspiration for Nikki Heat?" I can't tell if he's merely bemused at this fact or thoroughly delighted.

I sigh fondly; it's been years since I've heard that question. "I am."

Burke nods, leans back in his chair, resuming is standard position, making a note on the pad of paper in front of him. Finally, he asks, "So this was a good thing?"

"Running into him?" he nods his head, "Yeah it was he asked me for coffee when I finished the case."

"And?"

"We had to ask for his help on the case."

"How did you feel about that?" the shrink speak came out of his mouth as if he didn't know anything else.

The disappointment at admitting that Ryan and Esposito were right about needing to ask Castle for a crazy theory flooded my thoughts. "Disappointed…" I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, "when he left three years ago to go write the bond novels I was… heartbroken is too strong… I felt like I'd missed a chance at something."

Dr. Burke just watched me without saying anything, just waiting for me to continue my story. "When I saw him again it felt like a second chance and then I had to go and ask him to do the one thing that would stand between us working together." I shook my head, "I know, I'm romantizing this we were just friends. Work friends at that before he left because we didn't even keep in touch."

"So when you asked him about the case you were afraid that you'd fall back into that work friendship pattern?"

"Yeah, I was," I nodded.

"Well did you?" The shrink asked eagerly.

I'd been seeing him for nearly six months and I'd never seen a crack in his resolve as he poked and prodded me in our sessions trying to help me move past the PTSD and work through the issues that my mom's case had brought up. However, at the possibility of a date he was acting like my best girlfriend, although he had been trying to get me to make friends outside of the precinct. I giggled, "It was different than I remember it but it was nice to have him in the precinct he brings a sense of humor to what is often a rather depressing job."

"Do you want him to help you on a regular basis again or do you want him to just be a friend and possibly something more."

"I…" I went to start, "I really don't know, I do want to be friends with him, at the very least. He adds a sense of … I don't know what to call it but it's lighter."

"So why not have coffee with him separate from work?"

I opened my mouth, and closed it again before answering him. "I did."

_The bastard cackled when we'd kicked down the door and hadn't made any move to run just cackled. It took so much of the satisfaction out of slapping the cuffs on his wrists as I read him his Miranda rights. But, we got him and after doing a cursory check of the apartment, I left the cataloging to the uniforms and went to go check on Castle. He'd come into the building with us but when I'd turned to ask him what he thought he wasn't in the apartment._

_I found him leaning against the hood of my vehicle. The "writer" vest that been living in the trunk of my car for years now still wrapped securely around him. "How you doing Castle?" I asked coming to a stop just a few feet in front of him._

_He looked up at me squinting into the early morning light, "Adrenaline rush." He paused, "I'd forgotten that, I'd forgotten what it's really like following you through a door with no idea what's waiting on the inside." He seemed almost like he was in a panic not that he didn't want to go through the door but rather he didn't want me to. He didn't give me a chance to respond, "Are you done here?"_

_I looked up at the building knowing that uniforms could handle the rest and that paper work would have to wait anyway. He'd already confessed that there was no one else, "at least not yet," were his exact words. Castle had pushed himself upright by the time I'd concluded I wasn't needed, watching me expectantly. "Yeah I am. What did you have in mind?"_

_Then there it was his signature Castle smile. "Well it's early so I thought we could start the rest of the day off with a good cup of coffee." _

_His face went back and forth between being proud of himself for coming up with the idea and scared that I'd say no. Fortunately, the answer fell out of my mouth before I had a chance to even think about it, "I'd like that." I said with a smile pulling on the velcro of my vest heading over to my door leaving him dumb struck for the second time this morning. "You coming?" I ask spurring him into action._

_I'd let him give me directions to the desired location for this coffee shop. It turned out to be his loft, which I'd nearly protested but the room was alight with the morning light, filling it with a sense of life. Alexis and Martha were gone on whatever adventure the morning had in store and it was just of the two of us sitting at the counter sipping on the delicious coffee that he kept here. Certainly better than the stuff he'd been supplying the precinct with._

_He was spinning me the tale of Alexis and Ashley the boy she was going to follow to Stanford in January, until she hadn't gotten in. Then Ashley had been too wrapped up in being at Stanford that he'd forgotten to make time for her. "It's ok though." He rubbed his eyes tiredly, "Relationships take work. I think she sees that now, so even though I hate seeing her get hurt she's learned from it. Now I can just hope that she never gets her heart broken again." He says with a small smile. His eyes were bleary with exhaustion, hair ruffled from the number of times he'd run his hands through it over the course of the night, the white button down that had been crisp when we'd left his apartment hours ago was wrinkled and the collar drooped. And he was still just worried about his daughter._

"_I'd forgotten what a good dad you are." I told him with a smile._

_He chuckled a little bit. "You make that sound like I'm only a good dad occasionally."_

_Taking a sip of my coffee, I shake my head. "No, it's just without you annoying me every day I forget that there's a lot more to you than the bestselling novelist."_

"_A lot more that you like?"_

"_A lot more that makes having you help on cases not so bad."_

"_Hey you asked for my help on this one."_

"_And you were helpful." I admitted. "It's nice to see you as more than just a famous author but as the genuinely nice guy you are. That's all."_

"_Well Detective Beckett it's nice to see you as a fully fledged person and not just on the pages of a book."He told me with a nod._

"_Nikki Heat is all you Castle."_

"_Inspired by you though." He looked at me daring me to challenge him further. I just shook my head again watching his eyes follow my own curls, "God your hair is pretty long." Came out of his mouth completely unbidden causing a blush to creep up my neck._

"_Thanks." Was all I could manage to get out. Before we lapsed into a quiet moment both of us taking a sip of coffee, giving ourselves a moment to collect our thoughts._

_But quiet was never something he was good at, particularly when quiet could be filled with questions, "Why'd you still have my vest in your car?"_

_I shrugged, "It never hurts to carry a spare vest." I told him. The whole first year he'd been gone and I'd thrown a blanket over it so that I wouldn't have to look at it every time I opened the trunk, not being able to bring myself to do anything with it. When the blanket moved months later, it seemed to me that it was as good as place as any to keep a spare vest. _

_Clearly, my answer didn't cut it with him as he narrowed his eyes in my direction, but he didn't push. "Well I'm glad you had it today."_

"_You liked following me through that door."_

_He smiled. "Kate, I like following you. Even if it is through a door wearing a bullet proof vest." _

_The blush was back, "Yeah well don't get used to it Castle. You're not following me around for research anymore because your Detective Heat is retired." _

_He finished his coffee with a dramatic flair, "Not retired just finding her away through New York's criminal underbelly without me for a while." _

_I looked at him contemplating for a moment asking if he meant to bring her back. Deciding that I definitely didn't need to plant the idea in his head if it wasn't there already. Glancing at my watch, "It's already 11:30?" How had so much time passed? How much coffee had he given me? And how many bear claws had I eaten?_

"_Apparently it is." _

_Standing up quickly I snatch my coat from the back of the chair behind me sliding my feet into the heels I'd kicked off hours ago. "I need to go." My mind scrambling trying to decide what was top priority to get done on my day off. I paused looking at this incredibly sweet, caring, loyal man and realized in that instant I didn't want to let him out of my life again. "Thank you Castle for the coffee. It was definitely needed."_

"_Any time my dear detective. I'm happy to feed you're caffeine addiction." He said collecting the cups and plates, placing them in the sink before following me to the door._

_Time to make my future work for me. "Ok, how about on my next day off?"_

_He looked shocked for just a second before pleasure seemed for radiate from his eyes out. "It'd be my pleasure." _

"Kate?" Dr. Burke's voice cut through my memory and I realized I'd probably zoned out on him for at least ten minutes.

I cleared my throat, "Sorry."

"Going for coffee, I take it was a good thing?"

I could stop the smile spreading on my face. "It was it really was."

"Are you going to see him again?" I'd finally found a topic the doctor couldn't act like a doctor about. He wanted to know about my love life, probably because it was the exact thing he'd been encouraging me to do.

"Yeah I am."

"Well that's good." He said after a beat before standing up. "That's really good Kate, but it looks like we're out of time today. We'll talk more next week and remember…"

"…you're always available if I need help." I finish for him. "See you next week doc." I told him with a wave leaving the office as I pulled out my phone to find a text message with the address of a coffee shop.

* * *

><p><strong>I kind of adore her shrink and in my alternate universe she's seeing him because she still has things to work out even if they're not Castle related.<strong>

**What are your thoughts?**

**Babyrose**


	8. Smattering of Cofffees

**On with the story. What I love about fan fiction is that I can play around with styles of story writing. So, what we have here is three, what are defined as, flash fictions, just little self contained scenes, about 1000 words each. There are six total so there will be two chapters of this over the stretch of about six months. They are no means the only meetings in that amount of time.**

**I don't own Castle accept to borrow them to play with and obsess over, well most of the time.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 7 – Smattering of Coffees<span>

It was a cute little mom and pop coffee shop in mid-town. The artsy kind that has murals by students on the wall and book selves lined with books for the community to swap with their own collection with. Among the eclectic patrons and the even more eclectic furniture, I saw him sitting at a little table with two high backed chairs and a pair of steaming mugs on the table. "There you are." I told him with a brush of my hand over his shoulder as I rounded the table and collapsed into the chair surprised how comfortable it was.

"I wasn't sure you were going to come?" He looks relieved. Picking up his mug, "How are you, my dear Detective?"

Wrapping my own hands around my mug I inhaled deeply, it smelled so good. "I'm good. Why wouldn't I come?"

This earned me a skeptical shrug, as if he still couldn't believe his luck that I was talking to him. "I figured you'd get called in on a case and forget to let me know or something. It doesn't matter. You're here and that's what counts."

"Not on call today. Baring the end of the world, I'm completely free today. I'm just on call on Thursday." We both took a deep sip from our coffee studying each other over the top of our mugs.

He set his down first, "So how have you been?"

It was such an easy question to blow off that I very nearly just answered, "Fine," before stopping myself thinking about it for a few seconds. "Over all I've been good. Life of a detective it's a lot of up and down."

He studied me a moment and for brief moment I thought he was going ask me what the downs were, but then there was that sparkle in his eye. "Ok, well let's talk about the good or at least the bizarre. What was the most interesting case you've had since I've been gone."

I looked at him with his brilliant blue eyes and the flannel shirt that he must have decide was more than appropriate for this little shop and I just knew there were dozens of cases that would spark his interest. "I don't know Castle where to start, the CIA, mob cases, psychics, magic, or amnesia."

He had this face of pure excitement that I associated with a kid when they've been told that they're going to Disney Land. "Um, all of them." He said biting his lip trying not to smile too much.

"We don't possible have time for that."

"So pick one and next time you'll tell me another one."

"You're supposing there's going to be a next time." I teased, even though the idea of it made me want to grin.

Now the look on his face was more of that of a kid that just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Well if… there doesn't have to…" he struggled with the words afraid that I was going to revoke his cookie privileges.

"Relax, Castle. I'm just teasing you."

His shoulders visible relaxed and the shit-eating grin was back, "Ok. In that case just pick one."

I thought about it for a second and settled on the story of the amnesiac and the missing fifth bullet. Spinning the tale of an art knock-off ring that went very badly for him. He laughed at the appropriate moments, and gasped at others exclaiming, "No way." But he hung onto every word.

I finish the story just watching him. Realizing that my mug had been empty for over an hour, he broke into my thoughts, "You spin quiet the story, Kate."

"Yeah, well it helps when it's all true."

"Hey don't discount yourself. True or not, there is an art to storytelling and you have it. Trust me I'm a bestselling novelist." He tells me looking down at his mug, realizing that his too is empty.

Staunchly ignoring his praise, I glanced at my watch. "How is it that when we have coffee together it seems to just eat hours out of my day without my noticing?"

"It must be the company," he looked at his phone, "but I see your point. Well we'll just have to do this again sometime and you can tell me another story." He stood trying not to look afraid of my answer trying not to be presumptuous.

Joining him on my feet, I pulled my jacket on. "Nope, next you're doing most the talking. There have to be stories of what the infamous Rick Castle has done in the last three years."

"Deal." He grinned sticking his hand out to shake on it, "As long as I get to talk to you again soon."

Sliding my hand it to his much larger warmer one I squeezed, "It's a deal. I don't know when my next day off is though." I told him as we walked out onto the street together.

"Well Detective, they invented this magical device called the telephone. Just let me know when you're free. It doesn't have to be a day off, just when you want a friend." He waved his phone in my face before snapping a picture.

"What was that?"

"I need a contact icon for you. It can't very well be the cover of Nikki Heat anymore." He shrugged sliding the phone into his pocket. Raising a hand to hail a cab, one pulling to the curb immediately.

He opened the door to for me but I shook my head. "I'll walk I'm only a few blocks from here."

"In that case, until next time detective." He climbed in.

"Bye Castle." I told him watching him close the door and cab peel away from the curb with a wave.

* * *

><p>"So what was it like writing for double-oh-seven?" She asked as pulling her foot under her as she sat down in the corner of the large couch angling her body towards the arm chair that I'd picked in the quiet coffee shop she'd suggested this morning when she'd told me it was her day off.<p>

Day off meant that it wasn't the hard edge Detective Beckett sitting kitty corner from me. Her hair had been left curly and pulled into a braid draped over the bare shoulder abandoned by the fabric of the over sized sweater she had on over her jeans. Rather than the ass-kicking heels, she wears into the precinct on a regular basis there's a tiny pair of well-loved black ballet flats abandoned on the floor below her. She just looks so soft and pretty. No one would peg her for a homicide detective in this moment.

She was waiting for my answer patiently. "It was awesome and amazing; I mean he was the reason that I became a mystery author." I took a sip deciding that if I was going to confide in any one besides my mother and daughter it was going to be her. "To tell you the truth…"

"Oh please do," she said with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"It was a complete and total pain."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." I nodded my head. "He's been so over done that any time I tried to give him my own twist it was automatically revoked. First they didn't like my style of writing him, next they didn't like my dialogue, then they didn't like this thing or the other it was horrible."

She giggled her nose crinkling adorably, "Sounds like a nightmare."

"You have no idea." And I went on to regale her with the variety of people that had turned down my ideas watching her eyes sparkle with mirth as I told her about a particularly heated argument with the owner of the franchise over the car I wanted Bond to drive for less than a chapter. "The edit for that first book alone took twice the amount of time it should have," I finished.

We were quiet for a moment as she just smiled at me finally setting her cup down on the armrest. "Well in that case Mr. Castle, what comes next?"

I leaned back in my chair smiling at her, she just watched me and I was struck by the fact that she was huge fan before she brought me in for questioning all those years ago, "You read all of my Bond books didn't you?"

"The two of them that came out in the time we've been separated?" She quirked her eyebrow like it was the most absurd question I could have asked her. I just nodded, "Yes, I read them."

"Well?"

"I believe you're avoiding my question." She teased.

"Did you like them?"

She looked at me and I could just see her contemplating how long she was going to tease me. "Yes I did. Now what's next Castle?"

The three chapters that I'd written bringing Nikki Heat back into the mystery novel world, flashed to the front of my mind. "My own characters again. I don't think I'll ever take on a pre-made character again."

"Any ideas?"

Glancing at my watch, I realized that I needed to go Alexis was meeting me for lunch during her free period today, "A few but you CastleLover1L40 are going to have to wait. Besides there's still a Bond book to come out." I stood taking in her darling blush extending her my hand as she slipped the ballet flats onto her feet and pulled her upright.

She let out a soft gasp as she bumped into my chest pausing right there neither of us sure what to do. Before she got her senses about her and step away to scoop up her jacket and scarf. "Well if you weren't so slow about publishing them I wouldn't have to probe the author in hopes a getting some snippet to share with the other fan girls," she winked at me.

"I knew I had a leak those years we were partners."

She laughed and pulled on her coat, looping her scarf around her neck, following me out of the shop jangling her keys. She was so much shorter than I without the kick ass heels was again I was struck but just how soft and cuddly she looked right now. Shaking those thoughts from my head opening the door watching her bite her lip looking at me as she went through the open door. "So coffee next week?"

"Wouldn't miss it. I believe you owe me another case story."

"I suppose I do. I'll let you know." Unlocking her car, she walked over, "Thanks for the coffee Castle."

"Any time Detective." I told her with a smile as she climbed into the crown vic.

* * *

><p>Tomorrow was my day off and I'd promised to spend my dad. Slightly disappointed I'd called Castle and told him. I was reading a book curled up on my couch when a knock echoed through my apartment. I opened the door to find one mystery writer standing on my doorstep holding a bag of coffee beans, "Castle?"<p>

"When did you move here?" He asked poking his head into the entryway as I opened the door further.

"When my old place got blown up." I said with a shrug, "Come in."

"Your place got blown up? That is definitively a story I need to hear." He said striding in, looking around for the kitchen. "But first coffee." He lifted the bag above his head as he started opening cabinets in his search for a coffee bean grinder. I just stood torn between being amused and annoyed that he was making himself at home in my apartment.

I didn't have long though before he was turning around, "Well are you going to stand there and watch me or are you going to help me make the coffee and tell me the story of how your apartment got blown up."

Moving off the door frame, I rounded the island and started pulling the necessary things out of the cabinets. "What is this Castle, we can't meet on my day off this week so you just show up?"

He stopped and looked at me, "Sorry I didn't think I just… I like having coffee with you … I'll go…"

"Castle, you're too easy." I said spooning the beans into the grinder, "Although, I am curious how you found me."

Relief washed over his face, "Well I went to your old place but it's under construction so I called Esposito." He shrugged out of his coat. "So, are you going to tell me how you ended up here?"

"It's your fault actually." I told him as I set the coffee pot to brew.

A cross between mock shock and true worry that I was telling him he was at fault for my apartment getting blown to bits. "No, you're kidding."

"Only sort of. He was crazy and thought that Nikki Heat was a real person and he wanted to prove that he was better than her." I told him fixing the coffee cups just the way we each like them.

He smiled that affectionate smile that I'd come to associate with whenever I was telling a story and he felt like he was learning something new about me, that or he was proud of me. "Well too bad he was actually facing Detective Beckett because Nikki Heat's got nothing on her."

I smiled, "Exactly." I told him pouring the coffee into the cups and handing him his as I made my way over to the sofa. Curling up in my favorite corner I smiled when he chose to sit next to me in the middle of the couch angling his body towards me as I began the story telling him about the messages in the bullets, the arrival of Jordan Shaw and I patiently answered the million questions he had about the federal agent.

He has the best facial expressions when I tell him stories. It's almost as if you could follow the story based on what his face was doing. The best was when I told him about the fact I was in the shower when the bomb went off. He swallowed hard, his adams apple bobbing slowly.

"You got him?" He asked at the end.

"Yeah, I got the jackass."

"Good, I don't want anyone stealing my characters." He said with a smile followed by a huge yawn.

Patting his knee, I stood up grabbing his empty cup going into the kitchen. "I think I've worn you out Castle."

"I just enjoy a good story." He glanced at his watch. "I should get going though." He sighed, pulling on his coat.

I walked him to the door, "Thanks for surprising me tonight, Rick."

"Thanks for the story, Kate." Then before I had a chance to think about it he was pulling me into him for a hug. My body reacted instantly tucking my head under his chin inhaling the soft warm, slightly spice smell that was Rick Castle. And then he was letting me go. "Have fun with your dad tomorrow, I'll talk to you later."

"Night, Castle." I said softly as he let himself out.

* * *

><p><strong>What did you think?<strong>

**The next three will be up soon.**

**Babyrose**


	9. And a Few More

**As promised a few more coffees for you and then we shall move on to things that you are all patiently (or maybe not so patiently ;)) awaiting.**

**Castles not mine, what on earth gave you the impression that it was.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter<span> 8 – And A Few More

He's playing with the remnants of the piece of pie, he'd ordered at the diner I'd suggested this morning for our late afternoon coffee meeting. He'd order a slice of apple and a slice of cherry pie before I'd even gotten there. With two forks and two cups of coffee. He insisted that I eat one. I'd protested but both slices of pie were gone and we were on our third coffee refill.

He moves the fork back and forth across the plate across from me and all I can think is that his publicity really doesn't do him any justice. It makes him out to be the un-catchable playboy that lives larger than life. Right now however, he's telling me about the trials and tribulations of Martha's most recent romantic foray.

It was sweet how worried he was about her adventures. I heard about the engagement that she didn't even have a chance to break before her finance unexpectedly died. Then the arrival of her inheritance that led to a shopping spree followed by a stroke of inspiration when she decided to open an acting school with the money.

"She seems happy though. Like she's finally found her footing again. And this time it's on her own terms not because of some guy." He says with a sigh.

"Well that's a good thing Castle," I reached out brushing my hand across his arm, "that's really good though."

"I suppose. She's a good example for Alexis, and it's good for her to have an older female presence around to talk too when good old dad isn't enough."

"That's also good." I told him.

"Yeah, it is, but I don't think she's ever going to move out." He almost whined.

I chuckled taking a final sip of my coffee, "Don't lie you like having her around."

"I do. She certainly never fails to produce drama," He shrugged, non-committally. "But it'll be different when Alexis goes to college. Now its three generations living in one apartment, it's different when it's a 40 year old man living with his mom."

"Martha's living with you though not the other way around though."

"That's the semantics game I like to play." Castle smiled just a little bit and his eyes sparkled.

* * *

><p>We were we sitting in a Starbucks somewhere between her apartment and the precinct. It was a warm morning in late January. It wasn't her day off but with the holidays we hadn't met for coffee in weeks so we'd compromised and decided we'd risk meeting even if she was on call. "Any way we solved it, after a lot of sifting through alibis," She finished with a flourish, it was a rather absurd case. They'd found a famous psychic stuffed in her sofa, a few days later a letter arrived at the precinct from the victim herself predicting her death.<p>

Kate clearly believed that the whole thing was ridiculous and after all why shouldn't she, she reasoned they'd figured out that the psychic had solved one murder to only to be killed to keep that one secret. I studied her for a second, "Don't you believe in magic at all?" surely this wasn't possible.

She contemplated it for just a second, her bottom sticking out as she shook her head. "No. No, I don't."

"When'd you stop believing in Santa Claus?" I asked genuinely interested in how she existed in a world without magic.

She giggled, it was a soft floaty noise in contrast to the leather jacket, skinny jeans, and laced up heeled boots. "I was three and we didn't have a fire place." She admitted after a few seconds, the smile still on her face.

"Awe man, that's too bad. Your poor parents with a not yet school aged child that doesn't believe in Santa." I told her.

She just shrugged, "I think they survived. How long did Alexis believe in Santa Claus?" She asked looking skeptical.

I thought about it for a few seconds, "Well she probably started questioning his existence when she was about six and stopped believing in him when she was around eight. But in the Castle house hold Santa is as real as you want him to be." I told her.

She laughed, "You still get her presents from Santa?"

"Well I don't have separate Santa wrapping paper any more, but yeah. I get presents from Santa too." I explained, knowing that my daughter and mother went to great lengths to get me presents in addition to their own gifts and labeled them from Santa every year. "For example, this year I got a new remote control helicopter, which is good because I crashed my old one into the wall, and a collection of manuals on vintage cars."

Her eyes sparkled in amusement, "That sounds really wonderful."

"See Santa's not so silly."

"No, I suppose he's not." She said with a smile. "Anyway," She waved her hand bring us back to her story, "the only thing that we couldn't tie up with the case is the victims daughter told me she had a dream that a man named Alexander would be extremely important to me."

"Alexander?" I questioned.

"Yeah, Alexander. Why, Rick?" She was looking at me like she used to when I had a crazy theory for her.

"It's just that my middle name is Alexander."

Now she just looked confused, "No it's not. Your middle name is Edgar."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Your fan girl is showing again, Detective." Earning me a blush, "No Alexander is my given middle name. I changed it to Edgar for Edgar Allen Poe when I changed my last name to Castle." The blush had faded and she looked truly intrigued. "My given name is Richard Alexander Rogers."

For a long moment, we just watched each other. The silence not uncomfortable, but just a little bit of inexplicable charge until it was broken by the sound of her phone ringing. Fishing it from her pocket, "Dispatch," she almost groaned to me snapping it open, "Beckett." She jotted down some notes on a notebook she produced from a pocket in the jacket. "Call Ryan and Esposito, I'll meet them there."

Smiling sadly, "That's what we get for doing this when I'm on call." She apologized standing up.

"Go, I'm always free for coffee when you need it." I told her, trying not to focus on the little flips my stomach was doing from excitement because she was upset she had to leave.

"Thanks Castle." She smiled, leaning over and brushing a kiss over my cheek before she strode out of the shop leaving me to touch my cheek like a 13 year old that had just gotten my first kiss.

* * *

><p>I don't know what I was thinking. It had been four weeks since I'd actually seen him, because between both our schedules it hadn't worked out. On the days I was free he was in meetings with his publisher, or traveling for book promotion. This last week he'd been gone with Alexis visiting all the schools she got into. They'd gotten back last night. Fortunately, I had the morning free, so I was standing at the door clutching two cups of Starbucks, waiting for him to answer my knock.<p>

The door swung open revealing a very rumpled, very tired looking Richard Castle. "Kate…" fell softly from his lips, "aren't you a sight for sore eyes. And you brought coffee, thank god." He ushered me inside, "Mother, drank all of ours and forgot to get more."

Handing him the cup I smiled trying not to focus on the fluttering in my stomach, "Well I have the morning off and I thought I'd come hear about the Great Castle College Adventure."

Taking a deep sip from his cup he collapsed on the couch, "It was amazing, they're all wonderful. She'd be so happy at all of them, and she'd learn so much." Then his face just dropped, "She's all grown up Kate. When did my baby girl grow up?"

Kicking off my heels and shedding my jacket and sat down on the couch right next him. I wrapped my hand around the one that was on his thigh giving it a squeeze. "Castle you've raised a wonderful young women that loves you very much." He closed his eyes a tear escaping down his cheek.

Wedging my coffee between my thigh and the back of the couch, I wiped away the tear with my now free hand. "No matter where she goes to school she's always going to need her daddy."

His smile was sad, "Is it horrible if I want her to go to school at Columbia or NYU and live at home."

"No it's not. But you might have to accept that even if she goes to NYU or Columbia she's going to move out." I told him softly.

"Do I have to accept that today?"

"No." I chuckled softly, "No that can wait."

He wrapped an arm around me and squeezed, "Thanks." He said holding onto me for just a minute. "Ok enough of a pity party for me tell me how's the case that you were texting me about?"

* * *

><p><strong>Did any one see Nathan on Jimmy Kimmel last night? Hilarious as usual, continually making me want to marry him. <strong>

**Any way let me know how these cups of coffee were for you and I promise more is to come.**

**Babyrose**


	10. A Story

**You can now pre-order _Frozen Heat_ the fourth Nikki Heat Novel. As I found this out from Amazon I clearly don't own Castle. But I totally called the name of the fourth book you shoul****d check out chapter four of _Just Breathe_ which can be located on my profile page.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 9 – A Story<span>

The weather was turning the frosty days were giving way to gentle spring breezes as the trees budded and flowers were poking out of the desolate beds. All week all I'd wanted to do was go out sit in the sunshine with Kate. Instead, I'd been trapped inside making the final edits to the final James Bond. No more though, I was standing in Gina's office handing her the final copy of the final novel. I'd never felt more relieved. "That's it Gina. I'm not doing this anymore."

"You're not going to write any more?" She raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow leaning back in her chair. Things had been cool between us since our most recent break up and we'd mostly just corresponded by e-mail rather than face-to-face or over the phone. Mostly, because I wanted to avoid these looks.

But the end of a series definitely had to happen in person. "No, I'm going to keep writing, but I'm never taking on a pre-made character again." I looked out the window trying to figure out what would cover all of it, "It's not fun when everyone has an opinion on the character and they have a right too because they helped develop them."

"Well, you did always like to be original, Rick." She scoffed.

Shrugging, "It's been working for me so far," I told her.

Now she scrunched her eyebrows and just looked at me, twirling her pen between her fingers. Slowly she leaned forward settling her elbows on the desk, "So what are you going to write about?"

"My own character." I said picturing the laughing eyes and curls of a brunette I'd been meeting for coffee and a story at least once a week for six months.

"I know that look."

I snapped my attention back to her, "What look?"

"That's exactly the way you would look when you were thinking about Nikki Heat. Are you thinking about reviving the Detective?"

I thought about it. Thought about Kate's reaction if I asked her. Better to wait. "Kate will never agree to it."

"Kate, hun? What's going on Rick? Since when are you talking to Detective Beckett?" She rapid fired the questions.

I smiled, "I ran into her months ago. She asked for my help on a case. We've been having coffee once a week."

Gina, however, had an evil grin on her face, "Wait till Paula hears this," she went to pick up her phone, "Rick Castle reviving his relationship with his favorite detective on and off the page."

I scrambled to disconnect the line before she got through. Holding the button down I glared at her, "You will not say anything about this." I just stared her down until she set the phone down. I was definitely not earning any points with her right now.

"Just give me some time to figure out what my next project is, Gina." I sat back again now that I was certain she was going to leave the phone alone. "If I decide to bring back Heat I'll let you know, but until then it's none of yours or Paula business."

I was on the receiving end of a lot of glares today, "Ok, but then what are you doing Rick?"

"I'm hanging out with a friend. Speaking of which I'm late," I realized glancing at the ridiculously ornate crystal clock on her wall.

"Late?"

"For dinner," I explained standing up.

"For dinner?"

I nodded, "Yeah, Kate is coming over for dinner with Alexis and Mother." With that, I left my ex-wife rather puzzled as I strode out of her office to spend a few hours with women whose company I actually enjoyed.

* * *

><p>The board was incomplete, which is my biggest pet peeve. I hate leaving at the end of the day without getting as much information on it as possible but its 7 pm on a Friday and the weather was spectacular. Everyone and anyone that might be remotely useful at getting records were gone for the night if not the weekend.<p>

Blowing out a frustrated breath, I accepted that I was just going to have to leave it there for now. I capped the marker dropping in the trough on the board and grabbing my coat. "Taking off Boss?" Esposito asked from his own desk as he and Ryan peered at me as if I was doing the strangest thing possible by leaving early.

"Yeah I am. We're not going to get the records or information we need tonight. So I'm going to call it a night."

Ryan's nose wrinkled, "Since when do you call it a night just cause it's Friday?" These two were worse than little brothers I quickly decided.

"Since I have plans tonight with other people that are mildly reliant of me showing up on time."

"Girl, do you have a date?" I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes at the question.

"No, Esposito I have dinner plans with a friend."

"Beckett." Ryan looked at me, with a face that told me one day when he has little girls they weren't going to get away with anything. "You're meeting Castle for dinner. It's a date."

I was helpless, "I'm just having dinner with him Alexis and Martha. I'd hardly call that a date. It's just dinner at a friend's house."

"Sounds to me like family dinner with the girlfriend at the Castle loft." Espo shrugged. I narrowed my eyes at them. "Whatever, girl you're dating Castle and you're happy about it."

"Heck Beckett, we're happy about it." Ryan chimed in.

I looked at them, knowing that they we're just giving me a hard time. I tugged on my jacket, "Alright boys, whatever you say. Feel free to take off to we'll get back to it in the morning."

They both grinned, like the small children that were offered a treat. "Thanks boss. Have a good night." Esposito called.

"Say hi to Castle for us." Ryan added. I just sent them a wave over my shoulder, and chuckled as I heard Espo chastise Ryan for making it sound like they had a crush on Castle.

Twenty minutes later, I was standing in the hallway outside the loft forcing myself not to think about what the boys had said earlier. Fortunately, the door swinging open to reveal a young, smiling, red head saved me from my thoughts. "Detective Beckett!" She grabbed my wrist and pulled me inside. "Thank god you're here. Dad has been threatening me with all sorts of horrible things if I decide to go to school in California."

I heard his laughter in the other room, "They're not that horrible."

Shrugging out of my jacket, I directed my attention to the girl. "What's he threatening?"

"Well first, he threatened to enroll in all my classes, another was to get himself put on as an adjunct professor. I suppose they're not that horrible but that would certainly defeat the purpose of me going to school across the country if my dad followed."

"So you might as well stay in the city if I'm just going to follow you." Castle said from behind me. I turned to find him wearing a bright blue button down that made his eyes sparkle. The sleeves were rolled up and he was using the towel to wipe his hands, "Hey Kate." He leaned in a brushed a kiss across my cheek.

"Hey…" I managed to stutter back.

Alexis however was undeterred, "Dad you would never leave the city. You love it here." Then she looked pointedly at the lack of space between us. "Besides you'd never leave Kate here. I'm going to go set the table." She changes tacks so quick it just left us both staring at her red hair disappearing into the kitchen for a minute before Castle turned back to me his face lined with worry.

"So California hun?" I finally managed to ask.

He looked grateful for the change of topic. "Ah yeah. I don't think she'll actually go out there. But if she does I'll be buying a condo out there. She's right though I like New York too much to leave."

For some reason that made my heart flutter just a bit and I fought back a smile as he looked at me. "So what's for dinner?"

Castle didn't even have a chance to answer though before the front door opened and in swept Martha Rodgers. "I smell lasagna," She announced.

"I guess that answers that question." I told him laying a hand on his arm trying to convey that I wasn't panicked by anyone's comments so far.

"Kate!" Martha made her way across the room wrapping me up in a hug, "It's so wonderful to see you," She exclaimed moving around the apartment in a blur of color. "We've been trying to get Richard to have you come to dinner with us for months."

I glanced at the rather sheepish looking author, "Have you really?" I asked giving him a little grin as I made my over to the kitchen area to help with the table.

Alexis who was laying the plates out answered, "Since Christmas."

"Richard, here kept telling us you were simply too busy." Martha finished waving at him.

I could feel him behind me and for a brief moment, I thought about going easy on him, "Well I have been busy." I smiled when I felt him breathe a sigh of relief, "But he didn't even ask me until Tuesday." Which had the desired effect of him hiccupping, a deep breath as his mother and daughter both fixed him with a glare.

"But she's here now. So, that counts right?" His large hands landed on my shoulders as he moved behind me to use me as a shield. The death glares from his family members didn't really abate as he ducked behind me and I couldn't help but laugh. Fortunately, he was saved from their wrath when the timer started beeping. "Listen to that, dinner is ready." He booked it around the kitchen island busying himself with the oven mitts and pulling out the casserole dish.

"Well we're glad you're here in any case dear." Martha waved the wine glasses, "Can I get you a glass?"

I nodded my assent to the actress, and so began a wonderful night of laughter and teasing as I told them about the magic shop murder which led to a lot of disappearing and reappearing silverware as we ate.

I was leaning back watching Alexis and Martha debate the merits of studying theater versus any one of the sciences. Castle, occasionally interjecting with which school had good programs followed by, "But, of course any of the schools in the city have wonderful programs." Then he would look at me his eyes sparkling as Alexis sighed and ignored the statement. This was the most fun and relaxed I'd been at a meal in months.

"Well I should get going. Paige and I have a Harry Potter Marathon planned." She stood up scooping up as many plates as possible. "I sincerely doubt we'll make it through more than the first two but we should get started."

That was the cue though for the rest of us to get up and help clear the table. "Well, I should get going as well. Meeting some friends for a drink." Martha told us with a smile. "It was wonderful to see you dear," and then she turned a glare on her son, "And hopefully will be seeing a lot more of you." Then before we had a chance to even think about it they were both gone and Rick and I were standing alone in the kitchen.

"Can I help with the dishes?" I finally broke the silence.

He chuckle, "Leave them that the lasagna pan needs to soak any way." He smiled leaning against the counter, looking devilishly handsome. "Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"Sure." I said with a soft nod letting him go about brewing the coffee as I pulled out the cups, spoons, cream, and sugar knowing that he liked his coffee a little sweeter at night. The sugar pot clinked loudly as I set it down and he turned to look at me. "Rick, what are we doing?"

His eyebrow quirked. "We're making coffee," he answered clearly misunderstanding. I smiled softly, knowing this wasn't supposed to be difficult it was just the questions today made me want to clarify what we were doing. "You don't mean right now?"

"Not so much," I wrinkled my nose with a smile.

He looked at me for a second making that face he does when he's thinking about something rather hard, before he took a deep breath and stepped closer. "Well Kate…" he picked up my right hand, "We're friends. I like seeing you for coffee every week, talking with you on the phone, and having you over for dinner."

"So we're just friends? That's all?" I asked squeezing the hand that held mine.

"Well here's a story for you…"

"Castle."

"Hang on, just let me tell it."

"Ok go on…"

"So there's this pair of work friends, she's stunning, smart, and street savvy, and he's ruggedly handsome, witty, and creative. They worked really well together for a year playing off each other saving the world, but life intervened and they were separated as their careers went in different directions. A few years later they run into each other again and develop a friendship outside of work and maybe it develops slowly into something more if they're both interested?" He looked up from our joined and hands to watch my face.

My heart fluttered just a little bit, I took a deep breath. "Well, what would come next then?"

He looked just so relieved as his face lit up. "Well normally he would ask her to stay and watch a movie."

I cocked my head to the side, "Is this not normal?"

"Nope. In this story, the girl is homicide detective that needs to get to work early tomorrow even if it is a Saturday because she needs to save the world. And to get to work early she needs to go to bed soon given that it's already 9:30. So she probably should just have a cup of coffee with me and then go home."

My heart just melted, I stepped closer to him wrapping my free hand around his next and laid a soft kiss on his lips before pulling back. He was staring at me dazed for a moment, "So it's a good story?"

"It's a wonderful story." He wrapped his free arm around me pulling me gentle against his chest leaving me to tuck my head under his chin. And just held me until the coffee maker stopped burbling. "Coffee's ready." He squeeze me tighter before releasing me to pull the carafe out and pour the cups, fixing them both the way we like them.

The coffee went down smoothly, as we just chatted in the kitchen about everything from the boy's latest bromance moment, to his upcoming book launch and the nerves that came with ending a project.

I drained the last dregs of coffee from my cup a little sadly. "I should go."

He set down his own cup and slid closer to me resting a hand on my hip looking to see if it was remotely appropriate to push this boundary. Amusing to me, given that he'd been pushing all sorts of a physical boundaries since I stepped through the door, so I just smiled at him as he took a deep breath. "Let me take you out this week?"

"That…" I managed to get out, stunned that he was actually asking tonight despite our earlier conversation. Lifting a hand, I laid it on his chest rubbing my fingers over the soft cotton of his button down. Smiling I managed to get my thoughts out, "That would be nice Rick. I have the early shift on Thursday and the afternoon on Friday so Thursday night would be ideal."

"Thursday it is." He grinned making his eyes sparkle. "I let you know the details when I have them."

"That sounds good." I brought my other hand up and ran it across his stubbled chin, stretching up on my toes and brushed a kiss across his lips. Satisfied when he sighed as I stepped back. "I should go home. As someone astutely noted earlier, I have to go to work early tomorrow."

He followed me into the hallway watching as I slipped my shoes on, before holding up my coat so I could slide my arms in, "That person was too smart for his own good." He told me scooping my hair out from under the collar.

Smiling I turned back to him, "Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, good luck with the case Detective." He grinned happily opening the door, "Until tomorrow, Kate."

"Night Castle." I sauntered out of the loft grinning like an idiot.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>

**Babyrose**


	11. Dancing in the Park

**Wow you guys the response to the last chapter was just wonderful. Thank you so much I'm thrill you guys are as taken with this idea as I am. And now on with the story composed of characters I'm just borrowing from people far more successful than myself.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 10 – Dancing in the Park<span>

The chirping nose of my phone sounded from some where in the pile of papers that were all over my desk. Startling me enough to bounce my laptop off my lap. I waved my arms wildly to catch it and move the papers around in attempt to answer the phone before it went to voice mail.

"Castle." I managed to answer, not taking the time to see who was calling, before lunging after the sliding papers hitting my knee on the desk, "Ow."

"Castle? Are you ok?" The concerned tones of Detective Beckett came through the ear piece.

"Yeah." I said holding everything in place, with my hands hoping my laptop stayed in my lap and my phone stayed trapped between my ear and shoulder. "Hit my knee on the desk. Give me one second."

"Go for it…" She answered and I could see her looking at the phone with that face she has when someone does something that she doesn't understand.

Quickly rearranging everything on my desk so an avalanche wasn't imminent, and there was space for my laptop, I brought the phone back to my ear. "Disaster averted."

"What happened?"

I shrugged, "Got caught up in a fit of inspiration, things got everywhere. Phone rang, and well things were falling everywhere. What's up? Are we still on for tonight?"

"Rick," she almost sighed and I knew that this wasn't good. "We caught a case. It's all hands on deck I'm not going to be able to make it tonight. I'm so sorry."

"Oh… that's okay. We'll go another night." I reassured her. Looking around at the piles of paper in front of me feeling slightly dejected. I'd been rather looking forward to having her in a nice dress, taking her to dinner and then the concert in the park.

"I know," came softly through the phone, "but I was really looking forward to it. And this case is just dumb but it's going to take a few hours to wrap up."

A stroke of inspiration hit, "Are you going to be there all night or just a few hours later than usual?"

"Um…" I could see her sitting in her desk chair twirling her hair or a pen as she thought about it. "Probably just a few hours. Why?" The question comes out oddly suspicious.

"The night won't be a total loss." I assured her.

"Castle what are you planning?"

"Finish your work, Detective." I told her with a smile.

Silence on the other end of the phone for a moment, "See you later?" I came across as a question. So maybe I wasn't so smooth.

"Just catch the bad guy and file all the paper work and don't worry about me."

"Ok? Hey Castle?"

"Yes?"

"I really am sorry about tonight."

I smiled at her apology. When I first met her I doubt she would have ever considered a date with me let alone be upset that she had to cancel. "It's the life you lead my dear. If you didn't catch murders for a living I probably wouldn't find you nearly as interesting."

She chuckled on the other end of the line, "Goodbye Castle."

"Talk to you later Kate." I told her grinning as the line went dead.

* * *

><p>The elevator opened to Esposito and Ryan holding the elbows of a sloppy drunk that had blood spatters on his t-shirt. "Hey guys. Case Closed?"<p>

"Castle!" Ryan sounded delighted, "What gave it away?"

"What are you doing here bro?" Esposito asked. As we did a weird dosi-do. Me trying to stay as far away from the man between them who looked like he was trying really hard not vomit at that moment.

"I brought dinner." I lifted the bags for them to see. "It'll be waiting when you get back from holding."

"Sweet. Thanks Castle." Esposito grinned, jabbing the button to close the door.

Whistling to myself I wandered into the bull pen to find my brunette detective bent over her desk filling out paper work. Not wanting to interrupt her I went into the empty conference room beside the dark office of the Captain and started pulling the containers out of the bags, before sneaking into the break room to grab extra utensils, plates, and napkins.

Coming to the door back to the conference room, I found the same brunette detective leaning against the door jamb looking at the spread before her. Some how magically sensing my presence behind her, "This isn't exactly what I thought you were going to do when you told me the night wouldn't be a loss."

"You didn't expect me to bring you dinner?" I asked moving into the room and opening the dishes serving myself and gesturing for her to do the same. "I'm glad I'm not completely predictable."

"No, I didn't expect you to bring dinner for the whole team." She said with a smile. Plucking a beer from the six pack I'd brought she popped the top, taking a pull from it, before sitting down next to me.

"Well it wouldn't have been fair to feed you and not them. Besides, don't tell them, but I kind of like them." I winked at her.

She laughed that beautiful carefree laugh, a curl escaping from the knot at the nape of her neck as her hand fell grazing mine as she pulled the Mongolian beef closer. "Well thank you Castle, it's very sweet of you."

"Castle, this is why we should have kept you around." Esposito exclaimed coming into the conference room looking positively thrilled at the spread in front of him.

Kate laughed again, "Free food. That's all you mean to them Castle."

"Hey, sometime he also invited us to cool parties." Ryan added pick up a plate and reaching for the rice.

"Because, I was never helpful." I did my best to look wounded, "So tell me about your week?" I asked, and the three detectives launched into the three cases they caught this week. None of them particularly complicated but it was fun to listen to them just the same.

The containers were empty and Ryan was yawning rather spectacularly when I glanced at my watch. "Well boys," I stood up, "I'm going to take this lovely detective with me now. And, since I provided dinner the least you can do is clean up." This earned me an arched eyebrow from all for them. "What? You guys got dinner out of the deal now I'm going to take Detective Beckett out to do something separate from this precinct."

"Girl, your canceled date tonight was with Castle?" Esposito crowed. "Mom and Dad are going on a date." He did a little dance in his seat.

"Way to go Castle, convincing the boss to let her hair down." Ryan cheered earning him a glare from Kate.

"And, just for that you guys can finish the paper work from today too." She said with that dangerous smile that says there is potential so much more trouble ahead if you don't stop.

"That's not fair…" Esposito whined.

"Fair enough…" Ryan choked under her glare.

"Night boys." I said cheerfully, and followed the boss out of the room, to her desk where she was pulling on a trench coat.

"So Castle, what was the rest of the plan?" She said with a little smile, pulling a decorative scarf around her neck.

Punching the button for the elevator, I turned to her. "Well originally this evening I'd planned to get you in a dress and take you to a fancy dinner and then dancing. But, since life intervened I have a different plan that involves taking a walk."

"Oh a walk to where?" She leaned back against the wall of the elevator eyes sparkling.

Following her in I hit the buttons for the ground floor and then took at advantage of the empty elevator choosing to stand right in front of her, crowding her just a little bit. "Telling you my dear, would ruin the mystery."

"And you're all about the mystery?" she bit her lip, fighting a smile.

"Well I am a mystery writer." I teased, bringing my hands up to rest on her elbows, admiring the way her eyes sparkled. Before anything really interesting could happen though the elevator doors opened on the main floor.

A full smile bloomed on her face and she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the elevator, "Well, onto this mysterious walk. Are we just walking walking or do we need to catch a cab some where?"

I glanced at my watch, "Catch a cab."

She let go of my hand and stepped onto the curb raising a hand. Instantaneously bringing a cab to a halt beside her. She opened the door with a flourish and climbed in. "Well are you getting in? This is your adventure Castle."

I shook my head climbing in next to her, "East 72nd and 5th." I told the driver.

"We're going to the park?"

"Excellent detective skills." I smiled at her. "I like it when you're all smiley."

She sighed and relaxed back against the seat looking at me, "Well you make me smile, and given the year I've had I deserve to smile."

"I shall take that as a compliment. Thank you."

Silence descended in the cabin as the taxi driver whisked us across town. Before I knew it we pulled up to a stop and I fished the fare out of my wallet handing it to the driver before helping her out of cab and leading the way into the park.

"I love spring," She sighed looking around the flowers that had closed for the night and the fresh leaves on the trees swaying gently in the soft breeze. "Everything is so fresh and clean." She reached up behind her, pulling the hair tie out of her hair allowing it cascade down around her shoulders little pieces of it catching in the air. "Castle?" She asked when I she realized that I was just watching her.

"Sorry, I was admiring how pretty everything is." I admitted, tugging her hand to my destination.

She blushed and fell into step beside me, "Thanks." Swinging our hands between us we followed the path until the strains of music could be heard in the wind. She gasped and looked and me, "Castle are we going to the band shell?"

"I thought you'd like it." I told her veering off the path and walking, "It's not anyone huge tonight just a community orchestra. They're part of the spring concert series here… any way I thought we could enjoy the weather and listen to some classical music."

"My dad used to bring my mom and I to these when I was little. They did it before I was born. When I was a little girl we'd come out here and listen to the music. Dad would dance with Mom and I would try to catch fireflies." She told me a soft smile on her face, "When I got tired of chasing bugs Dad would put me on his feet and he would dance with me."

I laughed picturing the a little Kate Beckett dancing on her father's feet, "I used to do that with Alexis."

"Well then you're a very good father. Every little girl should have a memory of dancing on her father's feet." She told me as we came to a stop at the far edge of the crowds that had gathered, closing her eyes she just absorbed the music.

"Well detective would you like to dance?"

Her eyes opened, gold flecks in a sea of hazel green sparkled. "I would love to, Castle." She brought her free arm up to my shoulder, and I settled mine on her waist. Falling into a rhythm I managed to get her to follow my lead to the faint music.

"How is Mr. Beckett?" I asked.

"He's good. I don't see him often enough. He worries." She confessed.

"Can you blame him?"

She paused for a second, "No. This summer was really hard on him, even after I made it through the surgery and recovery. And then I went back to work in the fall," She shook her head. "He knew that I wasn't going to give up my job, but I'm sure a little part of him hoped that I'd do something else."

"Have you thought about doing something else?"

"Since my mom died?" I nodded, "No… I need closure. And if I can't get that then I need to give others closure."

"Are you any closer?"

"No…" She sighed, allowing herself to be pulled closer. "Over the summer the boys chased down everything there was until Gates shut it down."

"Do you have any leads?"

"No." She shook her head looking disappointed. "Any way my dad worries, I'm all he has left."

"I can't imagine how much I would worry if it was Alexis."

She smiled, "An appropriate amount I'm sure. And she would feel just as I do that it's unnecessary but grant it because I just have him too." She settled her head on my shoulder.

"You have other people that care about you."

"My mom was stabbed in a dark alley when I was a teenager, and my training officer and my captain were both gunned down in the last year. I have my dad, the boys, and Lanie."

"You've got me. I'm not going any where."

Lifting her head she smiled and ran her fingers up to the base of my skull, "I do hun?"

"Yeah." I swallowed realizing that I'd let slip how head over heels I was for her, again.

"Well that will make my dad happy. You know what he said to me the other day?"

"I have no idea…"

Leaning her head back on my shoulder she sighed, "We met for dinner last week and in the middle of telling that story about how you dropped your cup at that coffee shop on Lex. And when it shattered you insisted on paying the owner so that he could buy a whole new set of cups, because he couldn't possibly have miss-matched cups. He stopped me and said, 'Katie Bug that Castle fellow makes you smile an awful lot.'"

"Well then my goal has been achieved." I told her changing direction and dipping her causing her laughter to spread through me like warm butter before I pulled her back up pressing the long lines of her body up against mine.

"It's true Castle. You do make me smile." She whispered into my neck.

"Any time." I told her as we swayed to the closing strains of music. We broke apart to applaud at the end of the concert and then she slipped her hand into mine, "I need to go home, I have a coffee date to keep tomorrow." We strolled to the edge of the park, "Thank you for a wonderful evening Rick."

I smiled, "It was my pleasure."

"Next time I promise will make it to the original plans."

I shrugged, "So we're more spontaneous. I like it." I grinned, "Coffee in the morning?"

"It's your turn to pick the place." She teased.

"How do you figure?"

"Well the last time I came to your apartment which was my choice."

"So that counts?" she smiled and nodded, "Well then reason would hold that I could show up at your apartment with coffee in the morning and that would count as my choice?"

There was a full fledged grin as she looked out at the street and then back at me, "That is completely up to you Castle. As long as there's coffee I'll have a story for you." She brought a hand up to my to my chest and leaned in and brushed her lips over mine. "I'll see you tomorrow Castle."

"Good night Kate," I told her covering the hand on my chest with my own briefly before she dashed out into the street hailing a cab and climbing in with a little wave as the cab peeled off all before I could get over the fact that she'd kissed me. I really needed to get over that reaction.

* * *

><p><strong>Happy Two-Parter Monday! Whose ready for absurd amounts of suspense that will have us on the edge of our seats until next week? Oh just everyone.<strong>

**Any way I hope this bit helps ease some of your tension. Let me know what you thought.**

**Babyrose**


	12. All the Facts

Chapter 11 – All the Facts

I'd been expecting him to show up from the moment I'd told him that it was his turn to pick the location and I'd provide the story. Since I hadn't received a call or a message with a location, when the knock came at 9:30, I was wearing yoga pants, socks and an NYPD sweatshirt, with my hair in a sloppy braid. "Hey Castle."

"Good morning." His voice was pleasantly sing songy as he walked past me carrying the tray of coffee and bag with what I'm sure was pastries.

He lead the way into my kitchen, setting down the supplies pulling out his own coffee and plucking an éclair from the bag as he leaned across the counter towards me. "So what murder mystery do you have for me today?" He asked with his trademark grin and a waggle of his eyebrows.

Picking up my own coffee, I looked at him. This wonderful, charming man. Somehow had managed to find his way back into my life, and if I wanted him to stay I needed to give him as much information as I could. And I did want him to stay. In the last six months I'd realized that, I wanted him to stay so badly, seeing him walk away just wasn't an option any more. "Kate?"

His question broke me out of my thoughts. "Come with me Rick," I picked up my coffee and lead the way into the small office area I had set up off the living room. Setting my coffee down on the desk, I motioned for him to take the desk chair. Swallowing a deep breath, steeling myself, I opened the wooden shutters that I kept closed, revealing the murder board that I hadn't looked at in months.

I heard his intake of breath, fast and harsh. But for once in his life he didn't say anything, as I crossed back to him and leaned against the desk next to him. "After last night, I thought maybe today's story could be about an unsolved case." I said softly not meeting his eyes.

His focus shifted to look at me, "Kate, you don't have to."

"I want to." I told him before tearing my own eyes away from the board to look at him, "You are the reason that I even have this much, and I have to tell you all of it because without you knowing all of it, we have no shot..." The pause couldn't be helped, but there was no point in hiding it from him, "And I want very desperately for us to have a shot."

He didn't say anything for a moment, and then he nodded his head. "Ok, where shall we start?" He held my gaze for a few seconds and then turned his head back to the makeshift board.

Starting slowly, I moved my gaze back to the board. "A few months after you left we had a stabbing victim. He was stabbed in the same way my mom and her colleagues were. Lanie was so worried about telling me," I remembered how she had the boys flanking her on either side just waiting for my reaction. "The actual case is largely irrelevant save the fact that it was the work of a hit man. A nasty son of bitch that got away. He convinced us that it was someone else was the hit man, by the time we figured it out. By the time we realize the man feeding us information was actually the man we were looking for he was gone. He just strolled out of the precinct taking everything he knew with him. We never found him again."

I looked at him, he was staring at the information on the board, looking for the story I was telling him. "I spent a week looking for him. Not sleeping, only eating when the boys made me. I was desperately searching everywhere for him. It wasn't until Captain threatened to put me on unpaid leave indefinitely that I took a breath and realized that I'd lost the only link I had to my mother's case."

"Kate…"

"Don't. We learned a lot from that, I know who actually killed her, and one day I'll find him and won't feel. Then we had the beginning of the threads of a conspiracy to unravel." I paused taking a deep breath, "I just… I just wish we had any idea how out of control and crazy it was then. Every time we turn a corner there's more. I'm not sure we even have the grasp of the scope of this case even now."

"Keep telling the story. Kate you'll find the links the story will unravel, but like every story it takes time and comes in fits and bursts." He told me.

"You're the story teller, Rick."

"It's not my story to tell." He insisted, indicating that I should keep going.

I laid a hand on his shoulder to center myself, remind myself why this was necessary. He reached up and wrapped his hand around mine. "About a year ago I got a call from Detective Raglan. He was the investigator on my mom's case." Closing my eyes I pictured that day sitting across from the old detective in the diner booth, "He told me that the case started 19 years ago, which didn't make any sense, but before I had the chance to find out what he was talking about a sniper took him out as we sitting there in the booth."

"It was a nightmare, Castle. Montgomery sent me home he wouldn't let me work on Raglan's case or my mom's and he left the boys to follow it." I smiled proud of them, "But they're good investigators those two, they found the sniper."

I closed my eyes pausing; there was so much to this story. So many details that made sense and didn't make sense but they weren't important he just needed the basics. I needed to give him the basics. "Unfortunately, they're not perfect and they got captured."

"So how'd you save the day?" He grinned, I was still his hero. The one that he'd been show captivated by that he'd written a whole book about me.

"Well, the Captain and I figured out where they were being held, in this abandoned warehouse, not far from the docks. I got there just a few minutes before HRT arrived and I couldn't just leave them in there. So I flirted shameless with the door guard. When he was sufficiently distracted by the pretty girl draped all over him, I knocked him out and snuck into the building. I was able to put a bullet in two of the guards that were torturing Ryan and Esposito, but if it wasn't for HRT's miraculously timely arrival I'd probably be dead."

"Well thank you goodness you were following protocol and actually had back up on the way." He said lightly.

"Yeah, well without my rag tag writer partner convincing me to abandon regulations, I have to get someone to watch my back." I bumped his shoulder with my hip. "We were able to lock up the ring leader, Hal Lockwood."

"I visited the prison once a week Castle. Once a week I went there and waited for him to break to give me something new." I released the breath that I'd been holding and plunged on. "Besides Raglan we'd learned that there were two other cops that were involved in the event 19 years ago that somehow led to my mother's death. One was Raglan; the second was his partner and a third unknown at the time. We got the partner locked up but we had no idea who the third man was."

Steeling myself, I began the worst, freshest, most painful part of the story. "In May I went to the jail for my weekly staring contest, and Lockwood had been transferred into general population. He killed Raglan's partner." Another ragged breath out. "When he went to court for to enter his plea… they had an escaped plan. He got away Castle."

The hand wrapped around mine on his shoulder, squeezed gently. "Oh, Kate."

Biting my lips, and closing my eyes, I felt the first tear spill down my cheek. "This conspiracy, Rick, I still don't have any idea how complicated it is and I've lost every lead I had into it."

I felt a warm hand on my cheek, a thumb catching the solitary tear. Opening my eyes I realized he'd stood up was facing me blue eyes, clear as water, just waiting for whatever I was willing to give him. I pressed my cheek into the warmth of his palm. "You can't breathe a word of this to anyone, ever. The boys and I, we're the only people that know this."

"Kate you don't have to tell me…"

Bringing my free hand up to rest against his chest, feeling the good solid heart I knew to be beating there. "I know Rick, I know. I need to." Curling my fingers into the soft material of his shirt, "You just have to promise me that you won't say anything to anyone."

"I promise. Anything you need."

"Captain Montgomery was involved." I choked out, months later I couldn't wrap my head around it. It still hit me hard every time.

"Kate… Oh god Kate… I had no idea…"

"The boys found out on their own, Roy, he called me. Told me that he was so sorry, that there was so much more to this than I would ever know… He told me he loved me like a daughter and that he was sacrificing himself so that I could have a full life. He wouldn't let me say anything. Wouldn't tell me where me was, he just said, 'Kate this is my spot, this is where I make my stand,' and then he hung up." The tears were flowing down my face. "Rick, I was the one that found him. He was just lying there in an airplane hangar surrounded but Lockwood and his men. He'd killed them all for me; he wanted it to stop there…" My scar throbbed, and I had to release his shirt to press my palm against it. "I can still feel the bullet tearing through me. I can see the sky, feel the grass of the cemetery, and feel the blood pouring out of me."

That was apparently as much as Castle could take because suddenly his arms wrapped around me and he was hauling me against his body. Enveloping me in his huge frame, cradling me to his chest as if I was the most precious thing in the world. He just held me as the tears flowed out for the first time in months. As the sobs subsided, I could hear him whispering me, "Kate you're ok, you're here, you're alive." And he just kept saying it over and over, punctuating it with the occasional kiss to my forehead.

I don't know how long we stood there but slowly I pulled myself back together focusing on the warmth of his hands up and down my back, the soft plaid of his shirt against my cheek, and the soft thud of his heart. I took deep breaths pulling in strains of Castle, warm and comforting with just a hint of spice. "Thank you." I said quietly into his neck.

"Any time. I'm always here."

Pulling back just enough to look up at him, as I laced my own arms around his neck. "Just the same. Thank you." He smiled bringing a hand back up to my cheek, leaning into it for the second time today, "Not exactly the story you were hoping for this morning I'm sure, but after last night I thought that you deserved to know everything."

He contemplated what to say for a minute before he finally said, "Thank you." Which took me by surprise, which must have shown on my face cause he felt the need to explain, "For trusting me enough to tell me. I meant what I said last night, I'm not going anywhere."

I smiled for the first time in what felt like hours, "Well that's good because, I like having you around." His smile bloomed matching mine and leaned in brushing his lips against mine ever so softly, going no further than that just waiting for me to take the lead. I hesitated for just a second before melting into him pulling his bottom lip between my teeth playfully before soothing it with my tongue and he fully took over the kiss, sliding his lips over mine. And I felt all my senses leave as I just floated.

Eventually he pulled back, "Why'd we never do that before?"

I chuckled resting my head against his shoulder, "Well the first time you asked me out you were a pain in my ass."

"Umm…" he agreed, his chest rumbling as he just held onto me.

"I'm sorry about last night," I told him picking at the seam of his shirt.

"What are you apologizing for? Last night was one of the best nights of my life."

"I know but you had something different planned."

He hummed again. "Well, that's only because the next date I want to ask you on is a lot more public and flashy and I wanted to ease you into the magical world of dating a famous author."

I pulled back knowing that this was going to be good. "The magical world of dating a famous author would involve what?" I asked quirking an eyebrow.

"Feel free to say no."

"Castle. Just ask."

"The launch party for the final Bond novel is Tuesday," he said cautiously. "And, I was hoping that the extraordinary Katherine Beckett would accompany me?"

"Launch party?" the last one of those I'd been to was at the end of our final case.

"Yes, but you can say no, and I wouldn't be hurt in the least. You have work the next day, and it will be big and very public. But I'd really like if you came with me."

I thought about it just briefly, "Well then I'll need to get a new dress."

"You'll come!" he exclaimed, crushing me to him again.

"It sounds like fun. Besides this book isn't about me." I smiled, up at him. "Seriously, though Castle you're going to have to let me go. I have to go to work this afternoon and if you want me there I definitely need time to find a new dress. I don't have one that will cover the scars."

His smile fell for a second, "Kate you're beautiful with the scars."

"Well thank you Castle but they present too many questions." I extracted myself from his grip grabbing the empty cups starting to make my way back to the kitchen when he grabbed my elbow and kissed me hard and fast. "What was that for?" I asked when he released me.

"Never had the chance before." He shrugged, "It seemed like the appropriate way to show my gratitude. Ok I shall leave you to the working and the dress shopping." He smiled.

"Well, ok then."

"Talk to you later?" He asked

"Yeah. I can't expect you to go a few hours without talking to me," I teased.

"You know me so well." He said walking to my door. "Until next time Kate."

"Bye Rick." I told him with a soft smile, which he returned, as he let himself out.

I went about putting the cups in the dishwasher, fixing myself some lunch before wandering into my bathroom. I was a wreck, the early tears obliviously having wreaked havoc on my makeup, and made me all blotchy and swollen. A shower was definitely in order before work, but first a phone call.

She answered on the third ring, "What's up girl?"

"I need to go shopping and I was wondering if you wanted to help me pick out a dress?"

"A dress for?" She asked suspiciously.

"A book launch party?"

I could hear her excitement through the phone, "I'm free when you're free."


	13. Public Worries

**Some wonderful fluff just for you guys! I own nothing but the idea for this particular story everything else belongs to much more successful people than myself.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 12<span> – Public Worries

"Richard?"

"Dad?"

I heard the front door closed behind my mother and daughter as they came home from what ever adventure they'd left on this morning. I think they'd said something about dress shopping for the launch party but I hadn't really been listening when they'd swept out of the apartment after breakfast, my mind had been on the document sitting on my computer. Saved under, untitled, the document was growing in fits and starts, sometimes pages and pages flowing from my fingertips, other weeks there was nothing.

But with the prospect of an empty apartment and the last week it felt like the final pieces of the story of were falling in place. Sure the story was going to take a lot of reworking before it was even ready for Alexis' eyes but it was there on the page. Hitting ctrl+S I saved the first copy, before saving a back up on my external hard drive, and shooting a copy to the email account I kept for just that purpose. "Hey ladies!" I called back to them closing the lap top and extricating myself from the desk, I went out into the other room.

"Writing again, Richard?" Mom asked from the kitchen where she was already pouring a glass of wine.

"When the inspiration strikes."

"You mean when you spend time with Detective Beckett?" Alexis asked from the table where she was sorting things from various shopping bags.

"Did you girls buy the whole city?"

"Oh just a few things for the party and then a couple of things for the summer." Alexis shrugged

"Speaking of Beckett when are we going to be seeing the lovely detective again," Martha asked over the top of her wine glass.

Sometimes living with two girls, even if they were my family, was a nightmare. "Well you're going to see her on Tuesday."

"She's coming?"

"Barring a horrific murder."

"Fabulous." Mother exclaimed, "that will be just wonderful. Richard Castle and the inspiration for Nikki Heat, Paula will be thrilled."

"What do you mean?"

"Well the real life Jameson Rook and Nikki Heat together at the launch of the last James Bond book. She'll have the press spinning theories that Richard Castle is bringing Detective Heat back to the literary world."

Horrified. That was my only reaction, how had I not thought of this, talked to her about this. I was going to have to un-invite her. "This is a nightmare." I groaned.

"Relax Dad. Detective Beckett is a smart women even if you didn't think of the possibility, I'm sure she did."

"I didn't want to make this about us. I just wanted her to be there." Running a hand through my hair, I pulled out my phone scrolling through the phone book to get her number, "I have to call her and tell her she can't come."

"Richard," My mother snapped. "Do not call her and un-invite her." I frozen and looked at her. "You can call her and invite her for dinner with us, we'll watch a movie, then you can talk to her and at least make sure that she knows what's she's going to be facing on Tuesday. Then you let her make the decision if she still wants to come."

"Really dad you can't make the decision for her. She's a tough women she can make this decision on her own." Alexis told me sounding far too reasonable for her age.

"I don't want to mess this up."

"Well un-inviting her to a glitzy press event certainly won't help you avoid that outcome."

"So I invite her for dinner?"

"And a movie."

"And I talk to her?" Both red heads just nodded at me reassuringly, "Ok so what are we doing for dinner?"

"Indian?" Alexis suggested, and mother nodded her assent.

"Sounds good." I told them finally pushing the send button on the phone.

She answered on the second ring, "Hey Castle. I knew you couldn't go three days with out talking to me." I could hear the smile on the other end.

"I'm predictable. Listen are you busy this evening?"

She paused and I heard papers shuffling, "No, I was just finishing up some paper work. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over and have indian with Alexis, Mother and I, and then maybe watch a movie?" I asked.

"That sounds nice." She hummed.

"So we'll see you soon?"

"Give me twenty minutes."

"Ok."

"Castle?"

"Yeah."

"Order extra naan."

"Can do. I'll see you soon."

* * *

><p>The food was spread out on the coffee table; the projector was set up with the shower curtain screen strung up. Alexis had picked a selection of movies for us to choose from and was pulling dishes from the cabinet, and mother was changing when the knock came. Opening the door I found her smiling on the other side, dressed in jeans, boots, a grey turtle neck sweater, and what I'm sure is one of dozens of leather jackets she owns. Her hair was curling with a natural abandon, escaping from the braid that she'd managed to tame it into.<p>

"Hi." She said softly stepping across the threshold. She glanced around the apartment quickly as the door swung closed before she stepped closer and brought her hands up to my shoulders and kissed me.

Rocking back on her heels she looked up at me, "What was that for?" I asked.

"I've never been able to do that before." She said with a shrug, stepping back to take off her jacket handing it to me as she bent down to pull of the boots she was wearing, suddenly losing four inches off her height. "So what are we watching?"

"Alexis picked out a whole bunch. I think she was waiting for your arrival."

Right on cue my daughter appeared in the living room setting the plates down, "Hey Detective Beckett. What kind of movie are you feeling, comedy? Animated? Romantic comedy? Action flick? Horror film? Foreign film?"

Kate laughed, the few curls that framed her face, bouncing. "You guys have too many movies?" She said crossing the room, "Well what are my choices for comedy or animated?"

Alexis pulled out two options, "Well there's UP! Or Bridesmaids."

Folding herself into the middle of the couch Kate looked back at me and then over at the options, "Lets start with kid's laughter and if I'm still awake after that then maid we can move onto adult humor."

"Fair enough." Alexis nodded opening up the case.

"Kate, you made it." My mother exclaimed as she descend the stairs, sweeping into the living room. I smiled and wandered into the kitchen pulling out a beer for myself, glancing over the couch to find her watching me out of the corner of her eye. I waved the bottle in her direction and she nodded before turning back to the conversation with my daughter and mother. I smiled glad that she looks so comfortable here even if we were still figuring out the details.

By the time I made my way back over to the couch the movie had started to play and the girls were passing dishes between them piling a variety of dishes onto them. The only space they'd left open was right next to Kate. Grinning, I plunked down next to her pulling the last plate towards me I entered the fray grabbing the first available dish as it passed my way.

"I should buy a blimp." I mused at the end of the movie.

"What would you do with a blimp?" The question came from my shoulder.

"Fly it places? What else do you do with a blimp?"

"Dad, we have no where to keep a blimp." Alexis told me like that was the only problem owning a blimp, as she stood up. "I'm going to call it a night. Night dad, see you on Tuesday Kate." She leaned over and kissed me before grabbing a pile of dishes and carrying them into the kitchen.

"That's all for me too." Mother said picking up her share of dishes. "Night all." She called from the kitchen as her and my daughter disappeared up the stairs whispering to each other.

I looked down at the detective that had leaned against my shoulder after she'd finished eating, and I'd taken it as my cue to put my arm around her. She yawned and pressed her face into my shirt. "I should get going too." She told me but made no sign of moving, rather she snuggled a little closer.

"Hmm…" time to face the music, "I have to talk to you about Tuesday."

"You're going to love my dress." She said softly.

I smiled wryly running a hand down her arm, "I'm sure I will. But first I wanted to give you a heads up about something?" She hummed back at me. "There's probably going to be press there and they're going to put together that you were the inspiration for Nikki Heat… So there's probably going to be questions about whether I'm bringing her back now that Bond is done."

She stiffened and sat up, keeping her hand on my chest. "Are you?"

"Not with out talking to you about it first."

She studied me for a few minutes. "Ok. Then let them ask, it's not like we're going to convince them other wise anyway."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well if you didn't want to come any more I would understand." I told her.

She smiled sweetly, "You really are too sweet sometimes." She reached up and brushed my hair off my forehead. "I should go home." She extricated herself from her couch unfolding her long limbs, making her way over to her shoes pulling the boots and jacket on as I walked over to join her.

"So I'll see you on Tuesday?"

She smiled biting her lip, as she took a step closer to me resting her hands on my chest. "Yes Castle." She assured me before taking advantage of the extra inches her heels gave her and kissed me. I let my hands slide over her hips to rest on the small of her back.

She was the one that pulled back, "Good night Rick."

"Until tomorrow Kate." I told her as I opened my eyes to find her smiling up at me. We were both still for a moment before I reached on opened the front door. She patted my chest and then sauntered out of the apartment.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok so what are your thoughts because I would love to hear them.<strong>

**Babyrose**


	14. Camera Flashes

**Hello! Um hand holding last night! Well that was awesome. **

**Before we go on I want to just address a couple of things that have been popping up in the reviews. They timeline on this story isn't canon. The James Bond offer came in episode 5 of season 2 so Castle and Beckett were only partners for approximately 15 cases. For me this drastically changed their relationship. At this point in the story they've known each other outside the precinct for 8ish months. I cover most of this as we go along but I know we all read bunches of these and for me clarifying timeline every now and then can't hurt. Second this chapter is fluffy but we will deal with some of the many issues Castle and Beckett have coming up I promise. They are different though because for me a lot of the issues on the show have to do with their relationship and with a different history the issues are different.**

**And finally I clearly don't own Castle because I have a comma problem, but I encourage you to see the forest for the trees.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 13 – Camera Flashes<span>

The flash from the cameras were the first thing to greet us as he opened the door of the limo they'd picked me up in. The noise was overwhelming and the onslaught of flashes from the cameras. My heart clenched unexpectedly, and I closed my eyes trying to get my inexplicable reaction under control.

I heard the grin in his voice as I he exclaimed, "Here we go." He clapped his hands before scrambling out of the car to offer a hand to his mother and daughter who both expertly extracted themselves from the black leather confines. Before I had a chance to breathe, he was extending his hand to me, helping me out of the car.

If Martha hadn't told me to lift the hem of my dress before I tried getting out of the car he probably would have had to scoop me out of the seat. I hadn't been thinking about climbing out of the car when I'd stood staring at myself in the mirror of Lord & Taylor. Truth be told the only thing that I'd been thinking about, as Lanie clapped her hands in excitement, was what his reaction would be when he saw it.

The deep blue dress hadn't disappointed, clinging to my silhouette when I opened the door earlier. "Stunning…" had literally fallen from his lips as his eyes ghosted up and down my body, from the sparkles adorning one shoulder to the soft float of the dress at the floor hiding the sliver heels I couldn't resist purchasing despite the fact that there was probably a perfectly suitable pair somewhere in my collection.

The thought disappeared from my head as he closed the car door behind me so it could slip off into the night leaving just us facing a crowd of reporters and a mile long red carpet. "You ok?" He asked softly ignoring the press for just as second, as he slid his hand into mine.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Good because all we have to do is make it to the door without someone trying to steal you away from me and then we're home free for the rest of the night." He grinned.

Regaining some of my wits, I looked at him, "Well lead on Mr. Castle. You are the man of the hour. I'm just your arm candy." I gave him a dazzling smile.

He released my hand and wrapped the arm around my waist, "You my dear are far more than arm candy." With that, he guided me down the runway, pausing every few steps angling my body into his, posing for the camera. He looked so happy, so in his element that the grin stayed on my face even as the reporters blurted out questions from all around us.

"How's it feel to be done with Bond?"

"What's your next project?"

"Are you going to try and work more with Bond?"

"Will we be seeing new work from you soon?"

"Who's your date?"

"How long have you been dating?" and every variation of those questions were pelted at us, but he took it all in stride just smiling, posing, and waving.

For a carpet that was probably only fifty feet, long it took us at least 5 minutes to get to the middle and then he finally decided to answer the questions. "Thank you everyone. It was a quiet and adventure to be part of the life of double-oh-seven, but it's time for him to move on and let another author spin his tale. New work takes time and development so I have nothing for you now but I promise that James Bond was not the end of Richard Castle's work. I have many more stories to tell."

He stopped and looked at me, "As for my date, the extraordinary Katharine Beckett kindly consented to join me here tonight." His smile was just radiant that I couldn't help myself I just stretched my neck and pressed a kiss to his lips. The effect was instantaneous, the camera's flashing like crazy against my closed eyelids.

Just when I thought he couldn't look any happier, when I opened my eyes I found the kid that found out he was going to Disney world for the first time in front of me. Dropping his voice, he hitched me closer the warmth of his palm radiating through my dress, "Let's go inside shall we."

"Sounds like a plan." I agreed, partially disappointed when he released my waist, but he grabbed my hand and actually began walking towards the door and more questions rained down on us.

"You mean Kate Beckett?"

"Wasn't she the inspiration of Nikki Heat?"

"Are you bringing Nikki Heat back?"

"How long have you been dating?"

"Have you been keeping your relationship a secret for years?" His brow wrinkled just briefly the last one but we'd made it to the doorway and I didn't want any of the stupid questions to haunt him on this night that was supposed to be a party in his honor, so I tugged him to a stop and kissed him gently knowing that it would make a spectacular picture: the author and the detective framed in the doorway sharing a kiss.

He pulled back, keeping the arm he hand looped around my waist just where it was. "You could give Paula a run for her money on publicity events."

Squeezing the hand he still held, "I believe there is a party inside just waiting for the man of the hour." The response was instantaneous as he tugged me inside happily leaving the heckling press behind us.

Together we made our way across the crowd, stopping to shake hands and say hello to a variety of people. Most of who were delighted to meet me before we made it across the room to where his mother and daughter had stationed themselves.

"Well I was beginning to wonder if you two were going to make it inside at all." Martha pressed a champagne glass into my hand.

"Yeah, I thought the reporters had kidnapped you." Alexis grinned.

"It seems that showing up with Detective Beckett caused quiet the stir." He winked at me with a happy smile, "They couldn't get enough of her."

"Here I was thinking that they were trying to get the last gory details of your life before you were completely forgotten by the literary world," I teased him.

Hands over his heart, "You wound me detective."

"Well someone has to keep your ego in check." Martha laughed.

He slipped his arms around me, pressing fully against me, and he lifted a glass. "To the three beautiful, funny, and smart women without whom I would be lost in a mess of incomplete plots, bad grammar, and uncontrolled ego." He lifted his glass to us all before downing half of it. "Speaking of ego, I do believe I need to go sign some autographs, and have dozens of women hit on me even though I have no interest because I already have the prettiest three."

I gave him a sharp elbow in the gut, "Go flirt and promote your withering career. We'll be here when you're done."

"Save me a dance?" He asked, softly.

"I'm counting on at least one." I replied earning me a soft kiss, before he disappeared into the crowds. Leaving me to chat with his mother and daughter.

It was over an hour though before he found his way back to me. Just in time to join me in what had become a rather caustic conversation with Gina, his editor, or maybe his ex-wife given that the conversation was laced with jealousy. It had started off as a harmless conversation between her and Alexis before she shifted her attention to me. Turning to me martini in hand and lifting one perfectly groomed blonde eyebrow, "So what are you two doing?"

"Excuse me?" I asked my eyes flitting to Alexis who just gave me a perplexed look.

"You and Rick? Is he telling tales about you again?" Gina spat.

"Telling tales about me?" It was my turn to lift an eyebrow, "No, I'm just his date tonight." I told her simply.

"For just a date he's been spending an awful lot of time with you."

"I don't see how this is any of your business," I steeled my tone feeling as if I was dealing with an uncooperative witness.

She let out this shrill laugh, as if I was the one being ridiculous. "If he's spending time with you then he's not writing and his writing is my business."

"Dad has been writing. He writes all the time." Alexis stated calmly, hoping to redirect the woman's attention.

Unfortunately, the blonde just looked at me, "Really because I haven't seen anything from him yet."

It was at that moment his arms slipped around me from behind as he pressed the full length of his body to mine, "That's because it's not ready for you yet." His voice rumbled through my body, warm and soothing. "And you won't get it until it is ready."

"Whatever you say Richard. If I don't see something soon your witting career is over."

"Gina go do something useful and leave my family alone. In case you forgot Kate is a badass detective and she's used to dealing with the actual scourge of the earth so a jealous ex-wife is the least of her worries."

"I. Am. Not. Jealous." She ground out between her teeth looking affronted that he'd called her on it.

"You're a terrible liar when you've been drinking. Go talk to someone who wants to talk to you." She glared at both of us for a moment before pivoting on her extremely expensive shoe and making her way back out into the party.

"Sorry about that." He said softly to both of us.

Alexis just shrugged, "She's never been my favorite."

"Well still, that was inappropriate of her."

I laughed softly now, "Like you said Castle I deal with actual bad guys a work you think your ex-wife and publisher is going to rattle my cage?

That's when he spun me around so that we were chest to chest, "That is one of many reasons I like you my dear detective." He leaned in and captured my lips in a kiss that was too long given that his daughter was still with us. But I heard her mention something about needing the bathroom and she slipped off.

"I think we managed to traumatize your poor daughter." I whispered against his cheek, when I pulled away.

"She'll live." He replied, and I could hear just the hint of smugness in his voice, "She's going to college in the fall and has kissed plenty of boys by this point that Dad kissing his date, who she really likes isn't going to scar her."

I pulled back just a little, "She really likes me?"

"No, she just spent an hour willingly in your company, and stuck up for you with Gina, because she finds you annoying."

I swatted him for the sarcasm, "Not what I meant, she likes me as you're…" I glance up at him and decided to go for it, "girlfriend?"

That earned me a cheek-splitting smile, "You're the only girlfriend she's ever liked enough that she hung out with you at one of these."

"Well, that's just…" I didn't really know what to say to that actually.

"It's just perfect." He supplied releasing my waist to grab my hand, "I do believe that you promised me a few dances before the night was over and as it's already ten we should fit those in." He pulled me out onto the floor settling into the rhythm provided by the bluesy band stationed in the corner.

"This wasn't really what I'd hoped for tonight." He admitted softly into my ear, in the middle of the fifth song. I'd long since given up and just settled my head against his shoulder so now his voice rumbled through me as well.

"What had you hoped for?" I asked without moving.

"To spend more time with you. To not have my ex-wife act like a harpy…" he trailed off.

"There will be other occasions for that."

"I suppose. Next time though, we should stick to the plans or at least do something by ourselves."

An idea sparked, "Next time it's my turn to plan our adventure."

"Oh really?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yup…" I said stifling a yawn. "And it's going to be a surprise so don't even ask."

He laughed running a soothing hand up and down my spine, "You know I'm going to bug you about it anyway." I hummed, against his shoulder, letting my eyes drift closed. "But I think it's time that I took you home." I felt him looking around the room trying to locate the rest of his family. "Yep, time to go home. If we don't go now I'm going to have to carry you and Alexis and that will not work."

Lifting my head from his shoulder, I followed his line of sight to see his 17 year old, with her head on her grandmothers shoulder, eyes closed, even as Martha chatted animatedly to the gentleman next to her. "Does she have school in the morning?"

He shook his head pulling apart but not taking his hand out of mine, as we crossed the dance floor heading in their direction, "No, she's interning at a hospital this semester except for one class so she asked for the day off."

"Lucky." I said softly wishing right now nothing more to go home with them, and fall asleep in what I'm sure is a massive bed wrapped in his arms.

Like he could hear my thoughts, "I can send them home in the car."

"What about us?"

"We can take a cab to your place and I can walk you to your door and kiss you good night."

"And then what'll you do?"

"Take a cab home, if you want me to." He offered.

I smiled just as we were approaching the pair of red heads, "Send your girl's home, Rick." I squeezed his free hand directing my attention to Martha, whose friend had just departed. "How was your evening?"

She smiled graciously, "It was just lovely dear." Moving to stand up now that Castle had roused Alexis. "I heard yours was interrupted by an unfriendly publisher."

I chuckled, "She was just annoying that's all."

"She was jealous is what you mean."

"I suppose." I admitted as we made our way to the doors.

"She and Richard never made the same splash at these parties as you too did. But then they never were quiet the same sort of couple."

"What do you mean?"

She lifted one sparkling shoulder, "They were expected. Writer and publisher, cliché as that is, nothing they ever did seemed interesting because they weren't really interested."

"Because muse and writer isn't a cliché?" I asked wondering if there was a point, she was trying to make.

But she laughed, "The best kind of cliché. A writer and his muse falling in love. It's wonderful because anyone that looks at you can see it's true." I was silent for what I assumed was to long by her standards as I processed what she said, not thinking for a moment that she was incorrect, "Kate dear?" she said catching my attention, "Don't over think it."

I let myself smile and relax, "I won't. Thank you Martha." I brushed a kiss over her cheek as two black town cars pulled up.

"Take care dear. We'll see you later, Richard?" She asked clearly noting the second cars presence.

"Goodnight Mother." He blatantly ignored the question, helping her into the car, and closing the door.

"I thought we were taking a cab?" I asked as he opened the door on the second car for me.

"It seemed easier to just ask for a second car when I called for the first one," we settled in the car and I rested my head on his shoulder closing my eyes as he gave my address to the driver. "Now the only question is to I tell him to wait while I walk you up."

I could only smile against his shoulder for the time being, but when the car came to a stop outside my building, I opened my eyes and looked up at him to find him blinking away sleep. I smiled, "Send the car away Rick."

* * *

><p><strong>Up next angst, but first what did you think.<strong>

**Babyrose**


	15. Panic

Chapter 14 - Panic

"Why can't you just fix me!" It sounded ridiculous to my own ears, but there was a tearing feeling inside. It needed to stop. I needed to be whole. I needed not to be falling apart at the seams.

"Fix what?" he asked, from his chair, in complete contridiction to the fact that I was pacing his office. On edge by his lack of movement, or sign of any emotion, I paced faster, tears coming uncontrolably.

"Me." Didn't he hear me the first time, I sobbed, throwing my hands up in the air.

"Kate are you having a relapse?"

"I thought I was doing better. You said I was doing better!"

"You are."

My knees gave out and I landed in the chair staring at this stupid man, wiping tears from my cheeks with my thumb. He'd promised he could help. He promised he would make me whole. He promised, and now I was coming unraveled, it hurt. It was hurting me. It was hurting everyone.

"What happened?" How was he so calm? Couldn't he see what was wrong. "Kate, I can't help if you don't tell me what happened. We'll work through it slowly." I looked at him tears running down my face. "You can do it. Go back to the moment you remember everything being ok."

_I was warm, snuggly warm, that warm that made me not want to get out of bed. The room had a glow from the sunlight, music slowly filling the room as my alarm kicked in. "I smell coffee."the raspy statement came from the otherside of the bed, explaining the warmth along my back._

_"The magic of timers," my voice was thick with with sleep as I flipped my head over to find him simling at me. "Good morning."_

"_Morning." His grin was soft and sleeply, accompanying his sleep ruffled hair, as he tugged my waist encouraging me to come closer, until we were on our sides my pajama legs tangling with his bare calves. Slipped my hand up to slide my fingers through his hair pushing the cowlick out of his eyes, soaking up the smile he was giving me. I hummed as his hands slipped between the gap my t-shirt and pants fingers tracing meaningless patterns on my lower back. "What time do you have to be at work?"_

_I closed my eyes, hoping to prolong this moment swaddled in my bed with Castle. "About an hour."_

_"I'll make you breakfast.""_

"_You don't have too."_

_His chuckle was soft and warm adding another layer to the intamcy of the room. "I want to." The brush of a kiss across my forehead. "You go get ready to save the world and I'll see what I can come up with for breakfast in your kitchen."_

"_You're in luck I went grocery shopping yesterday."_

"_Perfect," The bed shifted, as he moved out of it throwing his covers over me. I just watched as he legged into his dress pants from the previous night over his boxers. "Rise and shine." He kissed my forehead, "I'll bring back coffee."_

"_Ok." I sighed into my pillow letting him go, taking a moment to inhale the gentle spice he'd left behind, before hauling myself into the bathroom to shower._

_When I presented myself in the kitchen half an hour later, I earned a low whistle from him. The giggle in response was uncontrolled, "Detective Beckett, you are very sexy." He growled, snagging me around the waist and kissing me quickly. "Now this morning we have pancakes, bacon, and coffee. Everything a hard working detective needs."_

"_Normally, I just have toast."_

"_I know you do," he nudged me towards the table, "but you need to eat more and if I'm in charge of the meal then you get pancakes, bacon, coffee, and even sliced strawberries." He set a bowl in front of me._

"This is after morning after the launch party?" Dr. Burke asked pulling me out of my memory back to the jarring reality that I couldn't keep myself together.

"Yes," I shuddered out, "he just slept over."

"And that was the last happy thing that you remember?" He asked calmly. I'd told him about the party and I knew he was doing the math. "Kate, what happened in the last five days?"

That was just it, that was why I was here. Because, I was falling apart piece by piece since that morning and now I'd been reduced to a pile fragmented emotions. None of them lasting long enough and yet all with the overwhelming feeling that there was something drastically wrong with me.

"Sniper."

He watched me for a second, "Kate, snipers are always going to be difficult for you."

"They can't be. THEY CAN'T…" I huffed, "I'm a homicide detective every once and a while someone is going to use a sniper rifle." I glared at this man that I was willingly seeing. He was supposed to be fixing me. Instead I was cowering in my apartment, flinching at reflections from buildings and feeling like I was constricted by my clothes, "I. Can't. Be. Marginalized. By. A. Rifle." I ground out.

There was silence as the doctor just let it hang there. "What makes you think you have been?"

"I can't focus. I feel like something is hunting me."

"Think about it Kate. Have there been any attempts on your life? Anything to make you think that this guy is coming after you?"

"He has a high powered rifle it doesn't matter."

"It does though because you need take a step back and be able to think about it." He just watched me, looking too comfortable in that chair of his. "Rifles are always going to be a trigger for you, because someone tried to kill you with one."

"They did kill me."

"But you're alive now." This felt like a petty argument I could have with my neighbors nine year-old and make as much progress, but I was here already so I might as well go for it.

"I can't do that to the people I love."

"Do what?"

"Die."

"It's not your fault. You're here now." He was always so damn reasonable. "If the last time you were happy was with Castle why haven't you called him?"

I blinked at the sudden change of conversation, "How do you know I haven't called him?"

"Have you?"

I glared at him, none of this was helping to right the jagged shards I was feeling inside, or the deep ache along the scars, "No."

"Why not?"

"He can't see me like this."

"Why not?"

"How'd you know I hadn't called him?"

"Because Kate you've had a smile on your face everytime he's come up for the last seven months and if you had to talked to him you would have smiled when I asked." He never offered me his reasoning, so there must be some benefit in this, "Why can't Castle see you like this?"

"Because I'm broken. Because I don't deserve the way he looks at me when I'm not whole. Because I couldn't bare to put this on him. Because I want to be light and drama free for him."

"You don't think that's unreasonable?"

"No." We were back to the nine year old argument.

"He was the one that started you back in your mom's case." It was a statement, not a question, and I couldn't control my flinch at the matter of fact statement. "You don't think he knows how much you carry with you? You don't think that he wants to be there for that?"

There was silence for a moment as he waited for me to process. My brain could hear that he was right, and I felt even more out of control for not having seen all of that. He wasn't scolding me though he was trying to help me see what I already knew to be true. "You do know that he wants to be there for that otherwise he wouldn't have shown him the murder board last week." He added.

I just stared at him for a few minutes, "Kate, why haven't you returned any of his calls?"

"I…"

"Is the case closed?"

"Yes."

"So you made it through the entire case before even needing to see me?"

"Yes."

"So you are doing better, you are coping." He closed the portfolio that he never seemed to take notes in and looked at me, "Go home and call that writer back. At least let him know that you're alive."

"I…"

"Kate, it's ok to let him in." The doctor stood, before me. Usually he just lets me stand and leave on my own power. Him beating me to the punch made we want to sink further into the couch, even as he offered a hand to help me up. "But it's not the case that set you on edge."

"Of course it was. There was a sniper, I have PTSD because I was shot by a sniper nine months ago." Anger flared in my stomach, my emotion turning on a dime. What the hell was he talking about, of course it was the case that had me on edge.

"Your trigger is the flash of the reflection off of a sniper scope, not the sound of a gunshot." He sounded so damn reasonable.

"Well if it's not the case then what was it."

He smiled sadly, sliding his hands into the pockets of the khaki pants that he must own a dozen pairs of because I'd never seen him in anything else. "It was the night before at the beginning of the launch party."

The realization hit me like a freight liner, "The red carpet."

"The camera flashes reminded you of a sniper," He told me.

I thought back to that brilliant night, it had gone so well. But there was the moment when the car door opened and I was my heart seized, "Why didn't I have a problem that night?"

The enigmatic shrug, "Because it was associated with the red carpet, because you were focused on something else." He studied me for a moment like he was making mental notes that would get scribbled down the instant I left. "If you hadn't landed a sniper case the next morning, you might have been just fine."

I felt defeated, an NYPD detective taken down by the flash of cameras. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Talk to him, talk to me." He opened the door for me, "You are doing better," He caught my eyes, "Kate, it will get better."

I felt broken, he'd only asked one thing of me since we'd run into each other again, and it had triggered an attack of PTSD. We'd known each other longer separate from the precinct then the handful of cases we'd had three years ago. Somewhere between cups of coffee that turned into meals with his family, a smattering of stolen kisses, and a couple of dates. He was my best friend and I'd shut him out, in a haze of panic.

The cab pulled to a stop in front of my building and the exhaustion of the last few days threatening to pull me under as I fumbled to pay the driver and hauled myself into the building. Closing my eyes to keep the tears from flowing too freely. I was going to shower, eat something, and go to sleep. When I woke up I would call him, like an adult, and I would deal with this relationship like an adult because I'd never wanted something to work more.

The elevator came to a halt at my floor and I stumbled to my door fumbling with my keys, when my foot collided with something solid pitching me forward into my door. There was only on person it could be, and the tears started again, "Castle."


	16. Burden Sharing

**Thanks everyone for the response to the last chapter!**

**Let's see among the reasons that Castle can't be mine are that I have a problem with commas and sometimes tenses get the better of me. I'm human and posting this for your enjoyment and mine.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 15 – Burden Sharing<span>

My phone was teasing me. The home screen looking just as it always did. I checked my missed calls, nothing. No new text messages, not an email, a tweet, or a Facebook status, message, or poke. There was no sign of life from the one person I wanted to hear from for five days.

The last time I'd seen her was when she'd kissed me outside her building the morning after the release party. She look soft and happy her hair still drying leaving a lingering scent of her cherry shampoo behind as she'd climbed into the cruiser on her way to the crime scene. That was the last I'd heard from her.

I'd sent texts, called her at least twice a day since and left messages every day. I'd even sent her an email at work. Still no sign of life from the other end. I was at a loss. I didn't know where I went wrong, what I could have possibly done wrong that she wouldn't even call me back and let me know she was busy with a case and couldn't talk. The silence from the other end was unnerving.

Eight months since we ran into each other in that coffee shop by the precinct, since I helped her close that case, started having coffee dates with her, and in all that time we'd maybe gone two days without out at least a minimal text exchange, or a brief conversation on the phone.

So at day three I'd figured she was just tied up in a case. At day four, I'd called Ryan and asked if she was there. He'd confirmed and said that she was dealing with something, the Irish detective sounded worried. When it was the end of day five and I still hadn't actually heard from her, I found myself sitting outside of her doorway willing to wait until she appeared. At some point she had to come home and at least change her clothes.

I'd been there about six hours and was dozing off against the frame of the door when she tripped over my feet. Hitting the door full force, "Castle!" she moaned against the wood without making a move to lift herself off it.

"Kate?" I started to lift myself up off the floor reaching up to grasp her fingers just to reassure myself that she was really there and my desperate and bored mind wasn't dreaming her appearance.

She however took my gesture of self-assurance as her cue to slide down to the ground next to me. Her body all sharp angles, as her knees folded under her, elbow hitting my shoulder before coming to rest on her thighs so that she could cradle her head in her hands. A shudder rattling through her as she came to a rest next to me.

Blinking rapidly, I tried to pull myself back together, trying to piece together what exactly was happening right now. "Kate?" I lifted my hand brushing and escaping tendril of hair behind her ear so that I could examine her profile. Her cheekbones were more prominent outlined by the dark circles indicating that she'd probably slept less than she'd eaten since the last time I'd seen her.

She didn't answer. She just sat next to me, silently crying, tears running over the beautiful cheek bones, making tracks of days old mascara over her naked skin, the foundation and blush she normally wore long vanished in the long hours in the precinct, probably days ago.

For a few more moments we just sat, but my back and butt were making it known that seven hours sitting on the ground was not an ideal situation. "Kate? We should go inside."

That sentence seemed to be her breaking point because she sobbed out my name, "Castle," and her whole body fell into mine, her head landing on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I should have called."

Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, a gave her just a minute. "Hey it's okay. We can talk about it when you've eaten something and gotten some sleep." She inhaled deeply, presumably trying to steady herself, nodding gentle against my shoulder. "Alright, let's finds some keys." I moved my free hand over hoping to find them in her purse with minimal rifling. I felt her shift her far arm digging into her pocket to pull out the illusive key ring out and slipped it into my searching hand.

Without moving her too much I angled my arm around my head sliding the key into the appropriate lock. In a feat of flexibility I didn't know I possessed I managed to get her door unlocked before pulling my own feet under myself. Leaving the one arm around her shoulders, I slipped my free hand under her knees and remembered to lift with my legs and not with my back. Surprised to find her lighter than I might have liked, but in this moment, I wasn't going to complain as I adjusted her so that I could open the door.

I tried to catalog how I got into the apartment; it would be useful for Rook. But my thoughts were otherwise occupied by the woman with her head tucked into my shoulder as I closed the door and managed to flip the lock, making it to the couch as quickly as possible. Aiming to sit down as smoothly as possible trying not to jostle her, failing miserable, but I managed not to drop her.

She wasn't crying anymore, she just picked at the seam of my shirt next to the buttons for a few moments before she took a deep solid breath. Her palm came to rest flat against my chest over my heart. "I should shower." She told me without moving.

"Ok." I nodded, "Shower. I'm going to make you something to eat."

I didn't need to see her face to know that she was pursing her lips thinking. "Ok." She finally said, before extricating herself from my lap standing in front of me looking more ragged than I thought before. She rolled her lips in biting them before extending a hand to me.

I slid my hand into hers and managed to get myself upright, with a few cracks. We were inches from each other. My hand cupped her elbow and I pressed a kissed to her forehead, "We're okay. Go shower."

Her eyes drifted closed some of the tension draining out of her body, as she nodded. "Thank you Castle." Before she turned head held high as she made her way to the bathroom, and I watched her go, before going in the opposite direction to see what I could assemble in a short about of time.

Given the state of her fridge, it was obvious that if she'd been home this week she hadn't eaten because it looked the same as it had when I'd made her pancakes. Settling on simple comfort foods, I boiled water for pasta and pulling the things out to make a simple sauce and finding frozen vegetables to add knowing that despite her need for calories she was going to want to eat something with vitamins.

She emerged just as I was plating the food setting in on the bar in front of her as she sat down. Sweats sliding down her hipbones exposing a strip of pale skin between the worn grey and the fuchsia of the v-neck t-shirt she'd thrown on. The shoulder of which was darkening rapidly as water seeped from the braid she'd tied her locks into.

She didn't say anything, as I watched her pick up her fork slowly digging into the food I put in front of her. She ate it out of diligence and a knowledge that I wasn't going to let her do anything beside eat it. I watched her carefully trying to over think whatever it was that had driven her into this state, almost catatonic.

Her plate clean, not long after mine I stood to start doing the dishes, when her hand caught mine, "Leave them." And she pulled me back to her room. Stopping only when we were next to the bed, she released my hand bringing her hands up to push the flannel off my shoulders.

"Kate?" I asked unsure of where this was going. But she shook her head her hands coming down to my waist releasing my belt and undoing my jeans shoving them over my hips before she turned and lifted to the covers, crawling underneath the soft grey and purple comforter.

"Rick." It fell from her lips, sounding more desperate than anything I'd ever heard. Propelling my body into action as I managed to extricate myself from my jeans pooled at my feet and climbed into the bed next to her. "In the morning I promise." She murmured laying her head on my shoulder as she lined her body up next to me.

* * *

><p>The scent of coffee pulled me back into the land of the living, and I had to blink a few times for my brain to process that I was looking at a photograph of Kate and her dad on the dresser on the opposite wall. She wasn't in the bed with me but I could hear her rattling around in the kitchen. Pulling in a deep breath, I struggled to sit up, but I didn't even get the covers pushed off my legs before she appeared carrying two cups of coffee.<p>

She hadn't changed, but she'd undone the braid, the chestnut waves falling over one shoulder as she handed me a cup and then she pulled herself onto the corner of the mattress, folding her legs under her criss-crossed looking at me, cradling her coffee like it was an anchor. Her eyes stayed on mine as she drank from her own mug, but when she lowered the cup her eyes refocused on the brown liquid in the cup and she took a deep breath. "I have PTSD."

With those three words, her whole body shifted inward, her shoulder stiffened and slumped at the same time. The long fingers around her cup tightened around the cup going white against the warm brown of the cup. "Oh Kate." I reached a hand out to her, but stopped before touching her, leaving my palm up on the comforter just offering it to her.

She pulled her upper lip through her teeth and then lifted her head proudly again to hold my eye even as I could see the moisture gathering in the corners. "I have PTSD. I'm doing better, but it spiraled out of my control this week and I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" I asked, my head trying to figure out why she was apologizing.

"For not calling you this week and asking for space. For not telling you ahead of time that I was dealing with it." More tears slipped down her cheeks but they didn't infiltrate her voice.

Now I did shift closer to her, running her my hand down her arm pulling a hand away from her coffee cup and tangled my fingers with hers, "I don't care. You're telling me now." She looked down at our laced fingers, but didn't say anything. "Can I ask how it started?"

Her fingers tightened just briefly in response to the question, and I watched her swallow. "My therapist thinks the camera's set me on edge and then a sniper case pushed me over."

"The cameras?" I asked trying to think of what she was referencing, "At the launch party?" I realized.

"I apparently associate them the reflection off of a spotting scope."

A bowling ball seemed to have taken up residence in my stomach, pulling everything down. "Kate if I had known I would have never…" I was silenced by a finger on my lips, her coffee cup still warm pressing against my cheek.

"I didn't know, how could you have known?" She asked moving just far enough to set her coffee cup down on the nightstand, before taking mine and setting it next to hers even though I hadn't had any of it. "I wanted to go with you. If I hadn't I wouldn't have said yes, even when you gave me ample opportunity to say no." She studied me for just a second, "Dr. Burke said that if I hadn't caught the case I most likely would have been fine, would have dealt with it reasonably."

Now she shifted closer, her free hand ghosting over my jaw line, before settling on my shoulder. "I'm not good at this, at relying on others, or even letting others in enough to know when I'm in trouble."

"You're telling me now," I tried to reassure not pressing her.

That earned me a wry smile, and a finger squeeze. "You shadowed me for six months."

"Really only three because you were mad at me for half of it."

"Yeah well you were digging where you shouldn't have been."

I mentally smacked myself, "I'm still sorry about that."

She smiled, "I'm not, I have more answers than I did. I have somewhere to look."

"I thought you had no leads."

"Not yet but they'll come."

"You got shot."

"And I lived to see another day." She shook her head, "this isn't my point."

"What's the point?" I asked softly.

She moved closer, still her knee's bumping against mine the barrier of fabric muting the collision. "The point is that running into you all those months ago at that coffee shop and all the cups of coffee in-between, it's the best thing that's happened to me in a really long time. But I'm broken and not sure I can do this…"

I cut her off sealing my lips over hers, a gentle kiss to stop her rambling, bringing my hand up to tangle in the hair at the base of her neck. Pulling back, just enough I rested my forehead against hers and look into her eyes admiring the gold flecks amongst the sparkling green they were this morning. "You're doing just fine."

"Rick…" her eyes closed.

"I'm serious. You're telling me now that you have a problem and even if I can't help you with it, I can be here for you. I'm not perfect at this either, but I can tell you the one thing you have to do is tell each other about your problems."

Her eyes opened slowly, "Castle." It was soft and sweet and filled with an emotion that I couldn't place a finger on. Before she slanted her lips over mine as she released my fingers and brought her hand up to my neck using it as leverage to pull herself closer, into my lap. Leaving my one arm to wrap around her waist fingers sliding across the bare skin between her sweats and t-shirt. "I want for this so desperately to work."

"Me too." I whispered back, pressing another kiss to her lips. "I was so worried about you this week."

"I'm sorry." She hummed quietly, ducking her head to my neck pressing her lips against the skin above my t-shirt.

My hand ghosted up her back relishing in the feel of her skin against the pads of my fingers. "It's ok you're here now."

She pulled back resting her weight against my hand as her thumb ghosted back and forth across my jaw teasing the stumble there. "This is where I want to be." She took a deep breath, "Don't let me go."

"I won't." I promised.

"I'm serious."

"I am too." I pulled her back against me, fusing my lips to hers. Trying desperately to communicate to her everything that she inexplicably was to me.

* * *

><p><strong>At this point I can see exactly where this story is going. There's just some in between stuff that I have to work out. Ideas for later keep getting me at the strangest times and I have a pile of little scenes ready to go and I just have to get there. So thank you for your patience.<strong>

**Let me know what you thought! The some of your questions have made me think more about what needed to happen and have made this a better story so keep them coming. Just remember that it is AU.**

**That's all. Drop me a line.**

**Babyrose**


	17. Changes in the Constant

**I'm so glad you guys love this. These last few chapters have been heavy and this one is a little bit to but we're getting back to lighter things soon I promise. Still don't own Castle, but I did live stream the Paley Panel last night and it was awesome.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 16 – Changes in the Constant<span>

My eyes drifted open in the late morning sunlight. Sunlight bathed the room in warmth that I loved in my days off to sit in and read until the sun left for the afternoon. This morning though there was a set of fingers running up and down the scar on my side. Lightly, just tracing it, over and over. "It's from the surgery."

"Ummm…" he hummed against the back of my neck, as he snuggled up closer to my back. His fingers ghosting up and down the scar, for a moment longer as I took a deep breath letting my eyes drift close again for just a moment. Then his hand slipped under my breast coming to rest on the scar on my sternum. "I thought this was from the bullet?" He asked softly, holding his hand solidly on the scar the warmth radiating into the tight skin.

"It is." I told him laying a hand over his, "The one on my side is was to access the damage and do the reconstruction." He didn't say anything, he just held me.

Squeezing his hand that lay over the scar, I rolled onto my back and looked up at him. "Hi." I said softly brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Good morning."

"Is it still morning?" I asked, mentally acknowledging that the light meant it was around noon.

His hand slipped now around my rib cage anchoring me to him, leaning into nuzzle my neck, "Barely, you slept for about an hour." He began trailing kisses down my neck.

"And you've just been watching me sleep?" I asked, doing nothing to discourage his activities.

"Couldn't help it." He told me, the kisses moving south. "You're beautiful."

"Scars and all," I sighed, feeling a pang in my chest, even as my fingers carded through his hair.

He stopped his motion and lifted himself completely over me so that he could look into my eyes, "Kate the scars are a marker of how strong you are, you survived a sniper shot and came back to life. You will get the bastard who shot you, and the man that ordered it along with the deaths of those that you love." He paused just briefly to duck down and press a soft kiss to the scar marring the skin between my breasts. Coming back up to my face he wiped away a tear I hadn't known had escaped, he rested his forehead on mine, "You, Katherine Beckett, are extraordinary and the scars are just a physical manifestation."

I tilted my head up arching my back up off the mattress to capture his lips in another kiss, mapping the contours of his mouth. Rolling him over I settled on top of him before breaking the kiss even though his hands kept making patterns on my back, "How is it you always have the right words?" I asked softly.

"I'm a writer." He teased, before his tone softened, "Plus it's easy to say the right thing when it's true."

"Rick…" I hummed, capturing his lips again, before moving down his jaw line, rolling my hips over his. Causing his hands to grip my hips rather suddenly.

"Don't start that if you don't want to spend the whole day right here." He growled the threat lacking any real bite.

Torn between shock and amusement I pressed down on his shoulders to look at him, "I believe that it was my turn to pick the activities of our date."

"So this is a date?"

I shrugged, "Well I had a different plan but it seems we're escaping all attempts at planning something normal." I ducked my head down to kiss him hard and fast, "So for now I'd like to spend the day with you in my bed making love, snuggling, and asking you questions."

He sat up so quick pressing our chests together, that I gasped as he captured my lips holding me to him as our skin press together the friction sending a fresh round of tingles through me. It was his turn to brand my lips in a fast searing kiss before pulling back just enough to look at me. "We're going to have to eat at some point."

I was really beyond full sentences at that point though and I rocked against him, "After."

"After." He agreed laying back down on the bed.

* * *

><p>She was in the kitchen wearing nothing but my flannel button down, rolled up at the elbows as she assembled sandwiches. "What are you doing?<p>

"Making food. You said you needed food." She said with a smile placing the last piece of bread on top of each sandwich. "You want to eat in here or in bed." She asked picking up both plates.

"Let's eat on the couch." Figuring we could still snuggle on the couch and not risk getting food all over the bed.

She nodded her head in agreement, following me over to her sofa. Plunking myself in the middle, I accepted a plate from her pleased when she sat down next to me throwing her legs over mine. "Eat," She said softly picking up her own sandwich.

"You said you wanted to ask me questions, what about?"

She shrugged, "I just… this week presented so many issues… I just want to learn more about you… You're not quite the same person who left to write James Bond three years ago… A better person not that you were a bad person and I just… I wonder about you Rick?"

"You wonder about me?"

"You're a constant enigma to me… you tell stories for a living… and sometimes I wonder what's true and what's just a little fabricated… what's just a little embellished."

"It's called dramatic flair." I took a bite of the sandwich.

"Which you're entitled too. It's just this week I didn't call you even though I wanted to because I couldn't trust what was real and what wasn't and I… I guess I just need to know what's real here." She laid a hand over her my heart.

"What do you think I'm fabricating?" I wanted to be hurt, because it sounded like she didn't trust a word that was coming out of my mouth and hadn't really ever, but it felt like she was struggling internally and just wanted me to tell it to her again.

Her eyes went wide, as she realized what I must be thinking, "Oh god Castle… I didn't mean that you've been lying to me… I just need more holes in the story filled in… I need a little more detail to make it make sense … Now I'm not making sense." She finally huffed, setting her plate containing a half-eaten sandwich on the table.

I smiled, reaching over her legs to set my plate next to hers laying my hand on her bare shin. "You're fine what did you need to know?"

Relief washed her face as she looked at me; I could almost see the wheels turning over in her head as she tried to decide where to start. "How did… What did you feel for me when you left to write Bond?"

"How did I feel about the end of researching Nikki Heat?" I asked contemplating the question, "Sad I loved the character, I still do. She was feisty, strong, smart, kept me on my toes always. But Bond was one of those opportunities that I couldn't really turn down."

I looked over at her, "Not what I meant. How did you feel about me?" She asked laying her hand over mine.

"Lust." The word popped out before I even had a chance to think and she softly giggled, but I plowed on, "Friendship, a feeling that there was something between us that we would have to figure out eventually. Without you keeping me in line the first few months away from the precinct were rough, I didn't know what to do with all my spare time and I had no one to bounce theories off of. It was weird because I'd never needed that before and suddenly after three months just talking to you I found I needed it."

"But you figured it out?"

"Yeah I did."

She hummed softly before squiggling closer to me resting her head on my shoulder, sitting quietly for a moment as I skimmed my hand up and down her bare thigh. "Ok this is going to sound weird."

"Just ask it's better than me trying to figure out what's going on your head."

"What happened to play boy mystery author Richard Castle?"

I chuckled, it didn't sound as weird as she probably thought it did. "Well he was mostly publicity crap. But he meet this detective about four years ago and she captured his attention."

"Rick." she chided.

"Hey now, this is my story," I caught the hand going into smack me. "Besides it's true. Now where was I?"

"Meeting me."

"Oh right. Well he meet this detective and she inspired so many stories for him that he literally didn't have time for the other stuff. He spent time in the real world that he tried to capture in his books and he saw that the pain and suffering he'd really only ever experienced through someone else's words was very real and far more difficult than a story could ever be. When the book was done he went on to write other stories but they were more like work for him."

She picked up my hand in hers and laced her fingers through mine. "I've never had to fight so hard for my vision of a character because they've always been my character but there were so many other hands in the pot that I couldn't get a grasp on him. It wasn't as much fun and I really had to work at it. I had to be disciplined, and I had to defend every word, to everyone," I confessed, and she squeezed my hand.

"Some time in there my daughter started applying for colleges and I can't come to terms with the fact that she's all grown up and is moving on. It's always been about me an her first and foremost but without her I'm mostly a mess, she's the only thing that I've ever done completely right. I've been married twice, both miserable failures, and my only long-term relationships. The only constant person in my life besides my daughter was my mother."

I angled my body so that I could look at her properly. "And then there was you. Just standing in a coffee shop, this beautiful hair tumbling around your stunning face, and I knew that I couldn't let you get away again." I leaned and kissed her, softly giving her time to respond, before I wrapped my arms around her and hauled her into my lap, exploring the depths of her mouth, relishing in the moan I elicited.

Eventually I backed off enough to rest my forehead against her, "I love you."

She inhaled sharply, "Castle, I'm so broken."

I shook my head just a little bit, "You're not, but you think you are and I love you anyway, in spite of it, because of it. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to help you pick up the pieces, and I'm going to be here when you finally solve your mother's case. I'm going to hold you when you need it and yell at you when you're being stupid. And I'm going to be here when you say you love me too, because I can't be the only one that's fallen in but I'll be the first one to accept it and I'll keep you afloat while you figure it out."

She just stared into my eyes like she was searching for the truth lurking in them, like I was a lying suspect, before she released a breath, "You and your words." This time she captured my lips just briefly, "Take me back to bed Rick."

* * *

><p><strong>What did you think?<strong>

**Also I want to marry Nathan and be Stana's best friend. Her reaction to some of the question was brilliant. Yes it's time for Castle and Beckett to get together, they will be having a baby boy in season 7 and when they do the did they're with be lots of kissing. And Marlowe is right her legs rival Angelina Jolie's I'm just partial to Stana's.**

**Babyrose  
><strong>


	18. Future Plans

Chapter 17 – Future Plans

"Are you sure you want me to come?" I asked, scrambling to finish my make up in the bathroom.

"You have to come. Someone has to keep me from bawling my eyes out," he replied from the other side of the door.

Rubbing my lips together to smear the gloss evenly, I checked my hair, and smoothed my dress, before opening the door into his bedroom. "Ok, are you sure Alexis wants me there?" I asked him walking over to him to straighten out his tie.

He swallowed his hands settling on my hips, "Her exact words before she left this morning were, 'make sure Kate comes if you have to drag her away from the murder board.'"

I laughed smoothing the tie down, "Well it's a good thing that I closed the case then."

"Good indeed." He pressed a kiss to my lips stepping away, "Look at you," he let out a low whistle taking me in, "I guess I'm the only one that looks old enough to be having a kid graduate from high school."

Chuckling, "I'll take that as a compliment," I informed him, "and ignore the rest of it."

"Richard? Kate? Are you ready?" Martha called from the other room.

"Time to go. Someone has a daughter graduating from high school." I grabbed his hand and pulled him from the room, into his study making our way out into the main room. "Oh, before I forget I got Alexis something, but I don't want to give it to her if you're uncomfortable with…" I didn't get to finish my question before he was wrapping his arms around me and kissing me thoroughly.

"Richard, Kate, really! You're going to have to hold off on making more babies until after the first one graduates from high school," the family matriarch groaned from the doorway.

"Sorry," he gruffed out, trying to look guilty, smoothing his shirt as we broke apart, "we should go." He grabbed my hand, pulling me behind him as he ushered his mother out of the apartment, "What did you get her?" he asked as we were waiting for the elevator.

I just shrugged adjusting my cardigan, rumpled from his hands, "Nothing big."

"Darling, you got Alexis a present?" Martha poked her head around his shoulder, just as the elevator arrived.

"I did," I nodded stepping into the car.

"Well, what you get her?"

"Come on what did you get her?" Rick used his mother's interest to his advantage.

I sighed, relenting, "A tool kit."

"That's perfect!" Martha exclaimed.

"What would she need a tool kit for?" Rick looked affronted and confused, liked I'd questioned his ability as a man.

I tried to hide my smile, as I explained, "Her dorm room. That way she has a hammer and a screwdriver should she ever need them. Which is quite likely given that she'll be living in a dorm room."

"Why can't she just call me?" He inquired, in all his moping about her going to college it had not actually occurred to him that she would go to school nearby and still not need him for everything.

Martha saved me from having to break the news to him again, "Yes darling, just because every time she needs a screwdriver she's going to call her dad."

"Well yeah, why not? She's going to Colombia I'll be able to go over there whenever she needs me." He argued, and then realized how silly that sounded. He took a deep breath, centering himself, coming to terms with the drastic shift that was about to happen. He reached out, and grabbed my hand, tangling our fingers. "Ok, so it's a good, practical gift," he lifted our tangled fingers to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of my hand. "Thank you for taking care of my daughter."

I smiled, "Someone has too," I teased under my breath, getting a smile as my reward when the elevator doors opened into the lobby.

"Ha, ha… Come on I have to watch my baby girl graduate from high school." He opened the lobby door for us to the waiting car.

* * *

><p>"How you doing?" I asked softly from his shoulder in the car ride back to the loft after the celebratory dinner. Martha floated off at some point to meet friends for drinks, and Alexis left for a post graduation bash one of her friends was throwing. Which left me and the empty nesting father riding back to the loft alone.<p>

His hand squeezed my thigh just above my knee, "Yeah… Yeah, I'm going to be fine. I'd be doing better if she hadn't given that speech."

"It was a beautiful speech, you're not the only Castle that has a way with words," I soothed. His daughter had brought tears even to my eyes, with her carefully crafted message that she hadn't told anyone she was giving.

"Yeah," I could hear the pride in his voice, even has his fingers toyed with the ends of my hair. "The whole thing just makes me feel old," he sighed.

"Rick you had her when you were really young." Which was true, he was 21, when she was born.

"That doesn't make me young."

I pushed up off his shoulder to look at him, "If it makes you feel better my dad was older than you are now when I was born."

"Well, that makes me feel a little bit better, but mostly that makes your dad old." He tried to muster a smile.

"I guess it's a good thing I like older men." I kissed him softly, capturing his attention, by pulling his bottom lip between my teeth.

"That makes me feel a better," he pulled back smiling at me. "My baby girl is a high school graduate," then he groan, "besides I was downright reasonable compared with Meredith."

I laughed, "She was a little out of control." Alexis' mother was beyond out of control. She'd sobbed silently through the whole ceremony, not because she was proud of her daughter, or felt like she was losing her but, because to have a daughter graduate high school meant she was old. She wouldn't even allow herself to be photographed, claiming that her makeup was ruined.

"And you were perfectly poised, with one graceful tear running down you cheek because you were proud of my daughter." He squeezed my shoulder.

"She's easy to be proud of," I confessed as the car came to a stop. He climbed out of the car offering me a hand to help me out. "But I'm really proud of you for raising such an amazing woman," I told him pressing a kiss to his cheek before moving off in the direction of the door, before his hands caught me wrapping himself around my waist.

"That has to be the nicest thing you've ever said to me," He leaned in slanting his lips over mine, softly exploring my mouth a free hand tangling in my hair for long enough that the doorman cleared his throat. "Let's go inside so that I can prove to you just how young I am."

* * *

><p>"Do you want to have more kids?" I don't know what made me ask the question as we lay in his bed, morning light spilling through the windows, but he stilled the hand tracing patterns on my arm.<p>

"Where's this question coming from?" his voice was laced with curiosity.

I huffed cursing my shrink internally, for encouraging me to talk more freely with Castle but it had been working so well, following my episode of PTSD that I'd been trying to maintain it. Which meant following through on the question, "I just was wondering you were so upset about her growing up and I was…?"

"Stop," he directed quietly as his fingers resumed the soothing motion, "The question that I should ask is do you want kids?"

"Do I want kids?"

"That's what I asked."

I was silent. I wouldn't have asked him if I didn't, right? Right. "Yes, I would like to have kids."

He sighed, relieved, his whole body relaxing. "Good, because I want to have more kids with you."

I hummed, relieved, "You were afraid I was going to say I didn't want children." I turned propping my chin up on his chest so that I could look at his face.

He grinned now, "A little bit. I want kids with you if you want kids. But without you well then … then it's a moot point."

"Oh…" There it was the actual point of a conversation like this, and yet I was feeling a little bit off kilter about it because I'd been the one to bring it up.

"Don't worry we're not there yet," he assured me, taking the lead.

All I had to do was follow, "Is that where we're headed?"

He looked at me, eyes glowing with promise, "That's not just up to me. You get a say in this too." I smiled, leave it to him to keep this conversation light and still have it, "So, detective you tell me, based on your observations is that where we're head?"

I rolled my lips in between my teeth biting them gentle trying hard not to smile, coming to grips with the situation. "Yes, I would say that's where we're headed."

He settled back into the pillows again, "Ok, then. Just so you know there's no rush, we have a whole bunch of steps that have to be completed first."

"What would these steps be?" I asked, torn between amusement and curiosity.

He made a noncommittal sound glancing over at the clock. "We should get up. Make breakfast for the high school graduate and get some coffee in you so that you can go to work this afternoon and finish that paperwork." He told me untangling our limbs and sitting up on the edge of the bed.

"Ok, but if you want to make some advances on this list of things that need to happen you might want to let me know what they are." I told him standing and making my way into the bathroom, to brush my teeth.

He appeared after a few moments leaning against the doorjamb buttoning his shirt. "Well, first we should probably go on vacation together."

I nodded, rinsing the toothpaste out and going the closet to pull on some clothes myself, "Ok that's a reasonable first step, where we going on vacation?"

"That depends on how much time you can get off."

"I'll have to know where I want to go first."

"Ok so we'll get back to that."

"Alright," I pulled on a shirt, "what were the next steps?"

"Well there's moving in together, and getting engaged, and I suppose following that there should be wedding where you're in a beautiful gown and I'm in a tux. And then we should talk about babies." He said rubbing his hands together, appearing just a little bit nervous.

I stepped closer to him, hooking my fingers through his belt loops. "You really have thought about this," I knew he had but was waiting to bring it up, and hadn't known how, so it was good that my mouth had gotten ahead of my brain. He grinned sheepishly at me, "You've gone and planned out all the details," I smiled back, patting his cheek affectionately.

"Well they are logical steps," he assured me, "but I skipped one." His hands ghosted up my arms.

"I think I know which one that is," I teased, we were going to keep this light and happy like it was supposed to be, which meant I had to do my part.

His brow wrinkled just a little bit in surprise, "You do?"

I nodded, "Yeah you're waiting on me to tell you something."

He didn't really respond, he tried to keep a calm face, but his fingers twitched against my skin, "Whenever you're ready."

I lifted up on my toes and pressed a kiss to his lips, before falling back on my heels. "And that, right there, is one of many reasons I do." I revealed, and then I release his jeans and made my way out into the study intent making my way into the kitchen and getting coffee.

But I barely made it through the door before an arm wrapped around me dragging me back against him. "One of many reasons that you what?" he breathed in my ear before spinning me around.

"Love you," I said simple, lifting my arms to wrap around his neck.

"You do?" His eyebrows arched in surprise.

"I asked you if you wanted to have kids not half an hour ago and you're surprised by that."

"Well no but I just want to hear you say it again," he asked dropping his voice.

"I suppose I could do that," I grinned, combing his hair behind his ear, looking into his sparkling blue eyes, "I love you."

His face lit up and he captured my lips quickly, pulling me just a little bit closer, and my fingers slipped down the back of his shirt and into his hair. "I love you too," he said with a smile pulling back.

"I know you do." I told him with a soft smile just basking in the look he was giving me for a minute. "Your daughter is going to wake up any minute," I finally told him moving to untangle myself.

"Yeah you're right… breakfast." He said following me out of the study, "about the other steps?"

"The vacation, moving in, engagement, marriage, and then babies?" I recited back to him, booting up the coffee machine.

"Yeah, those." He agreed with his head inside the fridge.

"What about them?"

"Well can we talk about the first one?"

"The vacation?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Sure what were you thinking?"

"A long weekend over the fourth of July."

"That's a busy weekend for the police force…" I hedged, he looked so excited by the idea, "but I can ask see what I can do." Because truth be told, I really liked the idea. "Why what were you thinking?"

"We go to the Hamptons every year for the weekend and have a big barbeque and light fireworks, and I'd love if you could come."

"That sounds wonderful," because it did, "I'll do what I can." I promised him, pulling out coffee mugs.

"Great," he exclaimed setting the makings for breakfast on the counter, "about the second thing?"

"The moving in thing?" I asked carefully, turning to hand him his cup. He wrapped his hands around the mug but kept his eyes on me.

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

He took a deep breath, "I want you to think about maybe at the end of the summer, after Alexis goes to school… I want you to think about moving in here with me."

The oxygen in my lungs seemed to evaporate, "Rick…"

"I'm not asking for an answer now, but I know you like to think about things, work them out in your head a little bit first, before you want to talk about it." He took a slow sip of coffee.

But before I could answer him, Alexis came down the stairs, "Good morning everyone!"

"Just think about it." He says softly before wrapping his arms around Alexis, "Good morning graduate!"

* * *

><p><strong>We made it through some of the rough stuff so it was time for lighter, but they've still pushing forward, just in a different way than they are on the show. <strong>

**Unrelated a tool kit was seriously the most usefull thing I got for highschool graduation, I was the only one in my building with one and it was Co-ed building.**

**I would love to hear what you thought.**

**Babyrose**


	19. Summer Explosions

**Thank you all for your wonderful support it means so much to me to see you guys enjoying this. So the Fourth of July is my favorite holiday, and I've never been to the Hamptons. I think that pretty much covers it. **

**Castles not mine as evidenced by the fact that I don't tweet my writing partner all the time (If you're on Twitter and not following Terri Eda and Andrew Marlowe do it they're sickeningly adorable).**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 18 – Summer Explosions<span>

The sound of intermittent key clicks mixed with the ocean waves breaking, provides a sense of calm that can't really be associated with anywhere else for me. It was early morning and I'd brought my laptop out onto the deck near the pool making some final edits to the still un-titled story on my hard-drive.

"Morning dad," Alexis called, coming through the patio door clutching a glass of orange juice and bowl of cereal, smiling happily.

"Hey Pumpkin. Already dressed for the ocean I see?" The ties of her swim suit visible from under her shirt.

She set her breakfast down on the table leaning in to angle the umbrella so that it covered her seat properly and not mine casting a glare across the screen of my computer. "Hey you're stealing my shade," I griped, saving the document, choosing instead to focus on her.

"Sorry, Dad. Alabaster skin, have to keep the sun damage to a minimum," she grinned at me. "So is it nearly done?"

"Is what nearly done?" I asked, despite the fact that I knew she already knew exactly what I was working on.

Swallowing the bite of cereal she cocked her head to the side with that look she'd perfected at the age of five that said I wasn't hiding anything from her. "The Nikki Heat book you've been writing for the last ten months." I tried for a look of innocence that she didn't buy, instead she lifted her eyebrow, a move perfected at thirteen. "The one that you haven't let me read or talked to your publisher about because you're afraid of how Kate will take it. And you haven't talked to her about it either."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. How about we go for a bike ride?" I tried to redirect the conversation entirely, a move that hadn't worked with her since she was fifteen.

"I don't even have a bike here anymore," she almost snapped, it felt more like she was disappointed with me. "You're going to have show it to her sometime. And you're going to have to talk to Gina about it sooner rather than later because she's going to start calling me about what you're up to."

My daughter, the wise and beautiful girl that I'd raised, now had a high school diploma and was leaving for college in the fall, and despite all that I could see the little girl with a smattering of freckles begging me to go seashell hunting with her across from me. Instead, she was scolding me on work and my relationship. I suppose it was time to come clean, "It's nearly done."

"I figured," she nodded crisply, "you've been working on it for long enough."

"I just want it to be perfect before I give it to her to read… I want her to read it first because I want her to be comfortable with whatever I do with it."

Alexis looked at me, just studying my face for a second, as she finished off her cereal. Swallowing the last of her orange juice she finally nodded, "Are you close?"

"Editing the last chapter. I want to be able to give it to her before the end of the weekend."

Alexis leaned back in her chair, watching me, an inherited trait I can only assume. "How do you think she's going to react?"

I chuckled darkly to myself rubbing a hand through my hair. That was the exact reason I'd ended up writing the whole damn thing without telling her. Because, I just didn't know how she was going to react. "I have no idea, but I have a feeling that best case scenario where she's fine with it without having read it isn't going to happen."

More of the watching, seriously I rubbed off on her more than I appreciate sometimes. "Well finish it now, Gram will be up in a bit, and Kate will be here in a few hours. You should have it finished before either of those things happens." She stood scooping up her dishes, "What's it called?"

"Another dilemma that I should probably solve," I confessed.

"You always have the named, usually before you start them." She shrugged though, like that was the mystery she'd decided to let go of. "Well I think I'm going to go read on the beach for a bit. Let me know if Kate gets here early."

"Whatcha reading?" I asked as I opened my lap top back up, opening the title document.

She grinned wickedly, at least as wickedly as she ever does, "Oh I thought it was time to re-read _Heat Wave_, thought there might be a sequel coming out soon_." _And she disappeared into the house, leaving me to readjust the umbrella so that there was as little glare as possible.

* * *

><p>I was just beginning to think that maybe I should let go at least until after lunch when I heard her, "Castle?" It was a little timid and a lot confused but she sounded like she was coming around the outside of the house, "Rick?"<p>

"I'm back here," I called saving the document, with two new words on the title page, before exiting out of the program and powering the computer down just in time for her to come around the corner. Looking every bit the woman ready for a beach vacation she stepped onto the the patio, with her hair tied up in a loose ponytail, sunglasses on her nose, white v-neck tee, and a pair of shorts that made her legs go on for miles before reaching the wedge sandals strapped to her feet. "I think you were made for summer," I told her wrapping my arms around her waist to capture her lips in hello.

"I'm finding it hard to disagree at the moment even if I'm only here for a couple of days," She stroked her fingers through the hair at the base of my neck.

"Really so short?" I pouted. I already knew it was a miracle that she'd managed to get the 4th off, but it was still a bummer that she had to be back at work on the 6th because it meant leaving here on the 5th.

She hummed her agreement with my pout, "Yeah, but let's not whine about it."

I grumbled more now, "You're right let's not whine about."

"Good." She smiled that dazzling smile that made her cheeks disappear up under the bottoms of her sunglasses. "Now would you care to show me around this monstrosity or should I just plan on sleeping next to the pool because I can't find my way around."

"It's not that big," I laughed, releasing her waist to snag her hand and lead her inside.

"Not that big? Rick I rang the door bell three times before giving up and coming around back to find you."

"Ah well…" I rubbed the back of my neck, "that might have more to do with the fact that I was working and not really focusing on anything but my computer." I lead her into the open first floor that connected the living room, dining room and kitchen all together much like my SoHo loft but on a grander scale in airy beach tones.

"Oh really?" I could hear the intrigue in her voice as she pushed her sunglasses up on her head, "and what has the illustrious Richard Castle been penning these days? A new detective to prowl the streets, perhaps?"

"Perhaps," I teased back. "We should go grab your bag and then I'll show you around upstairs."

She nodded for me to lead on, "Really Castle, aren't you going to tell me what you've been writing?"

"All in good time," I promised.

* * *

><p>A pair of arms slipped around my waist as I manned the grill. "This is wonderful," she told me settling her head on my shoulder.<p>

"Having fun are you?" I flipped the burgers in front of me before turn my head just enough to catch a kiss.

"You sound surprised?" She grinned, "did you think that I would find myself bored out of my mind barbequing on the beach with the man I love and his family on the Fourth of July."

"I am a little bit, you sounded pretty reluctant when I asked originally."

"I didn't want to get your hopes up," she released my waist to pick a plate and start assembling her burger. "I love the Forth of July, it was my favorite holiday growing up," she offered, plunking a tomato onto her bun.

"Oh really you love the Independence Day?" I slid the patty onto the waiting bun.

She smiled and fussed finishing the assembly of her food. "Well when I was a kid everyone got the day off and we'd go to the park or the pool and play games and barbeque and then at night we'd all lie on blankets and watch the fireworks go off. It was always a good excuse to spend the day with family and friends eating outside without all the fuss of Christmas or Thanksgiving."

"Isn't that exactly what we're going right now?" I asked loading up my own plate to take over to the table.

She smiled saucily at me tossing her hair over her shoulder as she took a seat, "Which is why I'm enjoying myself so much, I haven't had a reason to celebrate it in a while. Usually I volunteer to work the holiday." She shrugged lifting the burger off her plate to take a bite.

_Oh Kate,_ my heart seized and I reached over to give her exposed thigh a squeeze of reassurance, "Well you have plenty of people to celebrate with now."

"What else is on the list of things we're doing to celebrate?" she asked with a lazy smile. "We've been swimming in the pool, and in the ocean, played Frisbee, and soccer, we've built sand castles, and now we're eating watermelon and hamburgers what's left on the list of all American things to do?"

"Well obviously there's fireworks to watch but we'll have to wait for it to get dark first, and if you want there's a reading of the Declaration of Independence at the town hall," I suggested, "otherwise we can just hang out here."

She laughed freely, "You want to go into town and listen to a list of grievances against the king be read? Why doesn't that surprise me?" She polished of her burger looking at me amused.

I don't know why but her knowledge of the declaration made my skin tingle. "Because I have affection for words," I growled out, "especially ones that make a difference."

She just smiled and hummed at me, reaching out to run her fingers down my arm just light and teasing, "And going to listen to the Declaration … is that a tradition?" she kept her voice low, her eyes on mine.

Capturing the wandering fingers with my hand, I brought them up to kiss, "Alexis has refused to go since she was twelve, and I've never been able to get my mother to go." Flipping her hand over I pressed as kiss to her palm and then the base of her wrist, "But I'm thinking this year maybe my time might be better spent napping and making some fireworks of my own."

Her head fell back as she laughed, "And what about your mother and Alexis?"

"They're old enough to entertain themselves for an hour."

She bit her bottom lip in that way she does when she's trying to contain a smile but it's never as affective as she'd hopes, and it always makes me want to kiss her. Then again, maybe that's the goal of the smile. She pushed her empty plate further into the table with one hand giving a gentle tug on the other as she stood, "Come on Castle. Let's go upstairs."

The smile was full blown and beautiful now, the sun capturing her in a halo of light, and it was a sucker punch to the gut as I stood up. "I love you so much," I mumbled pulling her too me, catching her in a kiss that tasted like summer, as I slid my hands around her waist anchoring her to me, fingers searching out the gap between her tank top and shorts.

"Inside," was all she managed to gasp as I proceed to move my kisses to her jaw and then down the column of her neck.

* * *

><p>She was laughing, with my daughter and mother as they tried to write things with the sparklers they'd lit. Alexis was trying to capture it with her cameral, attempting an art project she'd seen on the internet but never had the opportunity to try before now. The three of them looked so ridiculously happy that I was reluctant to shoot of the firework that I'd rigged up.<p>

Eventually the sparklers burned out and Alexis turned to see me watching them, "Ready dad?"

"Yeah, all set." I turned my attention to Kate, "Are you sure you're okay with this?" When we'd watched the formal show, an hour ago, her nails had bitten into my skin hard with the first explosion of the night, and I'd realized that fireworks were probably a horrible idea for someone coping with PTSD. She'd closed her eyes and taken a few deep breaths slowly relaxing her grip on my arm before she'd been able to look up at the sky.

"Just don't blow yourself up," she called coming as close as she dared, bracketed my family.

"Well Richard what are you waiting for?" my mother called her eyebrows arched as they always did when she didn't understand what I was doing.

Tearing my eyes from Kate's after she'd given me a small nod I lit the fuse and ran up to them, covering my ears quickly as I did. I'd aimed the rocket out over the water and just as I turned around a few steps in front of them, it exploded in a shower of golden sparks lighting up the water beneath it.

I was rewarded with more laughter from the girls behind me as they all jogged down to stand beside me, "Just how legal are these fireworks, Rick?"

"I'm taking the fifth." I gave her a smug smile, she knew full well that there was nothing legal about the fireworks I had, but she wasn't going to do anything about it.

She shrugged and rolled her eyes indulgently, "Not my jurisdiction anyway."

"That's the spirit," Mother chortled.

Alexis meanwhile was scanning the ground in front of us, "There's four left. Can we light them all at once?"

"A grand finale" Martha opened her arms dramatically.

There was a gentle squeeze at my elbow and I turned to find Kate giving me a small nod of confirmation. "Ok but we have to run like hell once they're lit."

If anyone had been around it probably would have been comical the four of us lined up feet from the water, rockets at our feet everyone clasping lighters. We were trying to be as serious as possible in that moment as we all hummed with excitement over our own little firework show. "Ready?" I called receiving a chorus of affirmations, "On the count of three. One. Two. Three." I touched my lighter to the end of the fuse designated to me waiting just a fraction of a second to make sure that they all were running to before I joined them.

Getting to the designated distance I wrapped my arms around Kate's waist catching her in spin that brought us both to the ground as the four rockets glittered over the water. Alexis collapsed next to us as Kate settled into the v of my legs, "That was awesome dad," Alexis grinned at me, before laying back in the sand, to look up at the stars.

Kate hummed in agreement letting her head rest against my shoulder so that she could rotate it just enough to press a kiss to the underside of my chin. "Awesome," she reiterated. I could feel her eyelashes brush against my neck as she left her head just where it was, taking in a deep breath.

"How are you doing?" I asked softly.

Now I could feel her smile against my neck as she pressed another kiss there, "I'm good. Thank you for checking."

"I should have thought about the fireworks before, at least given you a heads up."

"You know I think I deduced that there were going to be fireworks on the Fourth of July when I was about five," she chuckled softly giving my knee a squeeze.

"Ok fair enough. It just didn't occur to me."

"I knew it was a possibility," she confessed.

I pulled my head back just enough to look at her face, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I love the Fourth of July, including the fireworks. Besides I had no way of knowing if they'd be a problem Captain kept me in the precinct on New Years Eve, stuck me down in processing."

"So she does have a heart."

"More like she didn't want to have to explain anything that went wrong."

"But you're ok?"

"I'm fine the first one just took me by surprise that's all."

All I could do was hum in response and hold onto her as we watched the water. Eventually my mother and daughter claimed exhaustion from the day's festivities and made their way back up to the house. "You think I would have ever gotten you to come out here with me if we'd stayed partners?"

"You would have asked, I'm sure of that." She replied tracing meaningless patterns on my arm.

"What would you have said?"

"I have no idea," it came out as a sleepy sigh.

"Oh the possibilities…" I mused.

"I'm quite fond of reality at the moment."

I paused for a happy moment, "Yeah, reality is pretty good right now."

She cracked an eye open to look at me, "Just pretty good."

"Well fantastic, actually," I assured her, "but I think we can make it a bit better."

"I'm not having sex in the sand Castle," she was serious but it lacked any bite.

I wrinkled my nose, I'd tried that adventure exactly once and it had ended badly, "Not how to make it better that's how to make it worse and quickly."

"Tried that have we?" She was amused.

"Not the point."

Her smile grew, "What is the point?"

"We should go for a midnight swim…" I suggested knowing that there was plenty of potential for her to shoot this down completely.

"I'm not wearing my suit anymore," it almost sounded like a whine.

"You don't need it."

"Rick I'm not getting in the ocean with my clothes… Oh?" she froze when she realized what my intention was. Slowly she sat up looking at me with what could only be a mix of shock and amusement, as the moon light caught her hair. Then she was a blur of movement as she popped up off the ground wrapping her fingers around the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head. "Illegal fireworks, and public indecency all in one day," she shook her head almost like she couldn't believe that she was doing this. "Be really glad this isn't my jurisdiction." She grinned pulling off the rest of her clothes depositing a lacy scrap of fabric in my lap as she took off for the water.

I watched her dive goddess like into the ocean, entranced by her, mentally trying to figure out what an earth I'd done right to have this magical creature swimming in the ocean at my house in the Hamptons. "Castle, are you coming?" she called snapping me out of my thoughts, as I lurched into action trying not to trip over my clothes as I raced out to meet her.

* * *

><p>Not an hour ago I'd extricated myself from our bed, to run to the nearest Kinko's, with the stack of printed pages. It turned out the nearest Kinko's was not all that near, but the place in town that sold all the stationary was able to do exactly what I needed, and the person I talked to didn't know what twitter was, so that secret was safe for at least a little bit longer.<p>

Now she was sitting poolside sipping from a cup of coffee as she finished the paperback she'd brought with her. I could have sworn she hadn't started it when she got here a day and a half ago, but here she was on the last pages.

"Morning," I leaned over and brushed a kiss across her lips, before settling myself on the end of her lounge chair.

She smiled at me but held up a finger, indicating for me to wait for her to finish. Her grin widened and she gave a satisfied sigh as she closed the book. "Morning, where'd you disappear off to?"

"I had an errand to run." I purposely kept my eyes of the box sitting in my lap, "Need new reading material?"

"Not really I should probably hit the road actually, if I want to have a prayer of getting home with minimal traffic." She looked mildly torn at the idea of leaving, "Why did you have something you want me to read?" I could see the intrigue in her eye. She was secretly thrilled at the idea of being able to read her favorite authors work before the public, even if she would never tell me that.

"I do," I nodded patting the box, "but I want to talk to you about it first?"

She cocked an eyebrow, bringing a hand up to push her bangs out of her eyes. "What about it?" I took a deep breath steeling myself because I was completely unsure of how she was going to take it. "Spit it out Castle," she smiled and I hoped that wasn't going to be the last time I saw her smile.

"No one else has read this. In fact, Alexis and my mother are probably the only people that even know that this exists and they've haven't seen it."

"Castle did you become a harlequin romance novelist or something and are too ashamed to admit it?" She was looking at amused and puzzled all at once, as she made to take the box from me.

Holding it just out of reach, "Whether this goes to my publisher or not is completely up to you."

"Ok." She nodded, finally taking this a little bit more seriously.

"Ok." I handed the box to her watching apprehensively as she lifted the lid off the freshly bound pages, it was either going to be yelling and screaming or she was going to shut down, my brain hadn't processed the possibility that she'd be happy about it. Every time the topic had been brought up she'd looked worried, and even a little panicky so happy wasn't really one of the reactions I was expecting, even if I was secretly hoping for it.

She dropped the lid on the ground next to her the instant she saw the title, she didn't say anything just yet, she just ran her fingers over the letters soaking it in. After what felt like half a lifetime, she lifted her head, "Nikki Heat?"

"What can I say, Kate? You've always inspired me." I wrapped a hand around her shin, relieved when she didn't flinch away.

"I thought you said you would talk to be before you wrote this?"

"I am."

"No. No, you're not this is a finished product, you've already written it." There was a tiny edge of hysteria in her voice.

"That's what I do I'm a writer, I write things." This was a mess on a level I hadn't quiet expected. I thought that she'd be mad at me for the subject matter, but not for writing it in the first place.

"Rick…" exasperation, annoyance, and quite possibly betrayal all came across in that one word.

"Will you just read it? That's all I'm asking, just read it and then we talk about what to do with it. If you hate it then this is the only copy there ever was and we'll burn it together. Just please read it." I begged.

She looked down and the cover sheet and then up at me, pursing her lips. "I should go, before traffic gets too bad." She set the box aside and extricated herself from the chaise.

I blinked at the rapid course correction, "Um yeah, ok."

"I'm just going to run in and get my bag and then I'll leave."

"You can stay a little bit longer." I tried to reach out and grab her hand.

She stepped back, "No, I should really go." She turned and disappeared into the house leaving me and the manuscript on the patio.

Her slam of our bedroom door propelled me into action. Scooping up the box, I rushed in side finding the nearest pen and scrap of paper, scrawling a rushed note I tucked it in the box and ducked outside to get it in the car before she came back down stairs.

I once the box was on her passenger seat I softly closed the door and leaned against the car so she couldn't escape without at least saying bye to me. I didn't have to wait long before she came striding out of the house, anger making her look dangerous, but I was going to have to stand my ground. She didn't stop when she saw me she just made her way around the car to the driver's side tossing the one bag she'd brought in the back seat. "Let me know when you get home." I told didn't ask, asking meant I was ok with not knowing and I definitely wasn't ok with that.

She took a deep breath closing her eyes as she leaned opened her door leaning against the frame, finally looking at me as her ponytail caught in the breeze. "I will." It wasn't calm and wasn't particularly sweet but it was mutual acknowledgement.

"I love you." I said softer stepping back from the car.

She looked at me for a long moment, "I love you too," finally fell from her lips so softly that I almost wasn't sure that she'd said it, before she was climbing into the car and turning over the engine. Leaving me with nothing more to do than watch her pull away.

* * *

><p><strong>Guys we survived the hiatus there's a new episode tomorrow and there's eye sex in it.<strong>

**Fangirling over. What did you think?  
><strong>

**Babyrose**


	20. Published Love Letters

**So now that the site has stopped being stupid ****I can post this and you guys will get it. **

**I clearly don't own Castle because if I did then I would have seen the promo for next week coming and I didn't so there.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 19 – Published Love Letters<span>

I'd gone out to the patio to get the box before heading out to my car. I couldn't help myself I wanted to read it. I was so mad at him for not mentioning it to me, but I still wanted to read it. But it was already gone, and when I saw him standing by the car that I knew that he'd put it in there for me, because he hadn't been sure I'd take it. I was too angry with him for doing that but I realized that if he thought I wasn't going to take it he distrusted me at that moment almost as much as I distrusted him. So I didn't say anything.

Then the whole car ride home the inconspicuous white box on my passenger seat taunted me. I wanted to pull over and read it there. I wanted to hurl it out the window and watch the pages float away. I wanted to turn around right then and go back, have him read it to me, have him burn it with me. I couldn't make up my mind. I couldn't even discern why I was so upset about the reappearance of my alter ego.

So when I got home, I sent him a text and left the box sitting on my counter. It took three days before curiosity finally won when I got home from a case to a vase overflowing with purple Gerber daisies. Leaving the flowers on the kitchen island, I opened the box and extricated the manuscript, taking it over to my couch.

I ran my fingers over the title, _Fresh Heat,_ one more time before I finally turned the page and fell into the world of Nikki Heat. It was all there, the case completely from his own mind, but Nikki and Rook were stumbling head over heels for each other faster than they had the first time, just like we had. The red numbers on my microwave read 3:34 in the morning when I was able to set the pages back in the box.

* * *

><p>"Why does it bug you so much that he wrote it, if he wasn't going to publish it without your permission anyway?" Dr. Burke asked from his chair, looking every bit as calm as he had when I'd told him about Castle, and the PTSD relapse and everything else. The man was seriously unflappable and it was starting to drive me nuts.<p>

"That's why I'm here, because I don't know. Aren't you supposed to talk to me in about something really random and we find out the answer seemingly magically?" Ok so I was in a snarky mood but it had been irking me so much all week. Rick was back in the city now and I need to have an answer to this infuriating question before I saw him. Because I had responded to his text with one word answers since I'd told him I was home and if it was eating at me it was definitely eating at him.

Burke cocked his head to the side, curiously, "Alright what round about topic should we talk about?"

"You're supposed to have the topic?"

"But you suggested the method, so it's only reasonable that we let you pick the topic."

I gritted my teeth, maybe the heat was getting to me, I felt like an idiot. "Work."

"Ok let's talk about work. How's it been since you got back from the holiday."

"The heat makes people stupid. They're mostly pop and drops, Jack shot Jill over Bill, nothing interesting." I sighed, the precinct had been almost comical with the number of open and shut cases.

"What do you mean nothing interesting?"

I thought about it, "Nothing that takes and brain power to solve…" I paused knowing I was going to regret this the instant it was out of my mouth, but this was where I'd wanted to get, "Nothing Castle would write about."

"Why wouldn't he write about it?" the man didn't even flinch.

"Because it's not interesting you can't write a best seller over a person stupid enough to not even flee the crime scene of a murder."

"Why is that important?"

"Because he's writing about me."

"You do get plenty of interesting cases, aren't you the go to detective for the weird ones?"

"I always have been. I've always liked the puzzle of them, trying to figure out the why in order to understand the who."

"That's why you've always like murder mystery novels and procedurals on TV isn't it? Because you like to solve the mystery."

"How did you know… never mind. What's the point?"

"What's the mystery that's plaguing you now?"

"How Castle is going to kept writing Nikki Heat without following me around?"

He nodded and smiled, "Do you want him to follow you around?"

"I liked having him there but we're in a different place now."

"Would that change with him following you around?"

"I have no idea."

"Does he want to follow you around?"

"I haven't asked."

"Why not?"

"I'm scared of what he'll say."

"What might he say?"

"That his books are more important than our relationship, that he needs to follow me around but we can't have a relationship if he's doing that."

That ridiculous rant, that sounded preposterous in my own head finally broke my shrink, the man that had only ever shown emotion when I was talking about running into Castle the first time, actually laughed at me, "Kate you know that's ludicrous."

"Apparently I don't."

He smiled at me like an endearing grandfather. "Alright, here's what you're going to do."

I rolled my eyes, this sounded like a mess. "Ok."

"Go home, and I want you to read _Heat Wave, _and then read _Fresh Heat_ and then you are going to talk to him." I opened my mouth to ask why but I never got that far, "When you've done the first two things you're going to want to do the third anyway."

"That's it? You're telling me to go read two books I've already read and then go talk to him."

He nodded, "Yes I am."

"Fine." I huffed standing up. I was ready to make my way to Castle's loft right now, as I fled from the office but by the time I'd made it out onto the street I'd managed to take enough deep breaths to realize that Dr. Burke, as annoying as he was, was probably right. Heading home, I called the Chinese delivery place, and mentally located _Heat Wave _on my bookshelves. It had sustained some smoke damage when my last apartment blew up but it should still be readable.

* * *

><p>The key slid into the lock, which shouldn't have surprised me, but it did. I hadn't had the guts to knock and wait for him to open the door. I was going to do this, and that meant going in and talking to him, not giving myself the chance to run over something that I knew wasn't a possibility.<p>

The door swung open to a quiet loft, the warm summer evening suffusing the room with an orange glow. There didn't seem to be any one around, so I slipped into the entry way bending down to take off my sandals before picking up my packages and venturing further into the loft, thinking how nice it would be to come home to this place. Before mentally checking my run away thoughts, one hurdle at a time.

He probably wasn't home, he was probably out with his daughter enjoying the evening, as the air finally lost some of its strength with the sunset. But still I pressed further on. If he was here, he was in the study or his bedroom. The study door was open but I couldn't see anything from where I was, so I just went for it.

And was rewarded with the sight of my favorite author, my favorite person, brooding in an armchair across from the windows, so that he was awash in the soft golden light, clutching a tumbler of scotch. "Rick?" I said softly from the doorway, I'd come into the apartment without an invite but I wasn't going to enter his study without one.

His head turned slowly, the five o'clock shadow catching in the light as he focused on me, or tried to through the sun light, "Kate?" My name dropped off his lips almost reverently like I was an apparition. "Is that you?"

I crossed the room, setting the two things I'd brought with me down before squatting down so that was eye level with him. "Yeah it's me."

That was all it took, glass of scotch abandoned he was gathering me to him as fast as possible. Lurching out of his chair to wrap his arms around my back pulling me into the chair with him, my legs sliding onto either side of his, so we were chest to chest, as I looped my arms around his neck, tucking my face into his neck as he buried his face in my hair. He just held on as the light faded from the room leaving us in the evening twilight.

"Whatever it takes I'll burn the book, crush my hard drive, I'll have them recall all of the copies of _Heat Wave_, just don't ever leave me again." He wasn't crying but there was a hint of panic in him, as he pulled back.

"Castle," I brushed his hair out of his eyes, feathered a kiss over his lips, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I ever made you worry about me."

He pulled in a deep breath, "I'm sorry I wrote a Nikki Heat novel without talking to you about it first."

"You really haven't shown it to anyone?"

He shook his head rapidly, "No, no one. We're the only ones that have read it… If you've read it otherwise it's just me."

"You should give it to your publisher, well first you should correct the mistakes that I marked, but you should give it to Gina," I told him, picking at a thread on his shirt, "You should keep writing Nikki if you have stories to tell for her." I lifted my eyes to meet his.

I don't think that I've ever stunned Castle speechless with my clothes on but that seemed to have done it. He swallowed hard, "Kate… I…"

"I over reacted." I conceded there was nothing left but to go for the truth. "Nikki Heat…" I smooth my hand across his t-shirt feeling the solid man underneath. I tried again, "The first Nikki Heat was an adventure for me, having you on cases is like bringing the library of mystery novels with me and picking through it to find the story that fits the case. I liked having you around because you did that. It made it less dreary to listen to you spin a story around the case, even when we found the story you made it far more interesting… I like listening to you tell stories."

His face went soft with a small smile, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes deepening, "I'll tell you any story you want to hear."

"I want you to keep telling Nikki Heat stories as long as it makes you happy," I told him softly trying to match the twilight tone of the room, "but I don't want to lose this." I waved my free hand slowly in the small gap between us.

He caught my fingers bringing them up to his mouth so that he could brush a kiss across the knuckles. "This is not going anywhere," he said reverently.

"I know that." I leaned my head against his shoulder, taking deep breaths of the musky smell that Castle always had at the end of the day. The one that would cling to my clothes at the end of the day. "I was just afraid that you were going to want to come back to the precinct and that would be more important to you."

He dropped my hand so that he can wrap that arm around me, encouraging me to settle further into him. "You were always more important than the books," he says into my hair. "Coming to the precinct, following you around for research … that was so that I could spend time with you… the precinct helped me get a better handle on details that I'd been missing and gave me characters to work with but you were the reason I was there."

"I know that now."

"How?"

"Burke made me re-read _Heat Wave_ and _Fresh Heat_ again."

"And that convinced you?" He sounded skeptical, almost in disbelief that such a thing was possible.

"Lanie joked when _Heat Wave _came out that it was a love letter to me, but you were already gone onto James Bond by then. Besides I thought she was being preposterous… how long into shadowing me did you have the whole thing planned if not written?"

He paused, chest expanding under me, as he took a deep breath, "The outline was there before we closed that first case."

"But you stayed, you kept coming back to annoy me to death."

"I wasn't that bad," I could hear the smile in his voice.

"No you really weren't…"

"You were a puzzle that I want to figure out, I wanted to make the pieces fit and understand the story. I kept coming back because I needed to know the story. I still need to know the story." His voice was soft floating around me, and I closed my eyes just needing to be in the moment with him. And he let me, whether because he needed it to or because he could sense that's what I needed, but it didn't matter, it was quiet and calm for a moment before he spoke again. "What does this have to do with re-reading the books?"

I lifted up to pull back from him so that I could look at him, "Lanie was right _Heat Wave_ was a love letter and I just couldn't see it at the time." He smiled, "If that was a love letter then I don't even know what to call _Fresh Heat_… How many girls get love letters in the form of novels?"

His eyes sparkled in the dark room as he smiled, "From me? Just you. Only you." And then he leaned in starting with a gentle kiss to my cheek before I turned my head and meet him sinking into the kiss, trying to communicate how much he meant to me, how much his words meant to me the written and the verbal.

"I love you," I whispered, pulling my head back to rest just rest against his.

"I know you do," his response came back, "I love you too," the words rumbling through my chest feeling every bit as tangible as he was, "You have no idea how much I love you." I could have argued tried to disagree but that would ruin it so I just basked in the moment.

"So I should give it to my publisher?" he finally asked.

I smiled at him, "You should."

"You really liked it?"

I nodded against him, "I'm probably biased, but yes I liked it. I couldn't put it down once I convinced myself to pick it up. I loved it."

"Ok." He sighed, relieved.

I chuckled a little bit, "You were worried that I wasn't going to like it?"

A self-deprecating smile, "Among other things."

"If I had told you not to publish it?"

He shrugged, "As long as you liked it I probably wouldn't have cared." I looked at him, well I glared at him knowing that wasn't true.

He caved, "Ok I probably would have cared if you'd said not to publish it, but not as much if you told me you didn't like it."

"You're so silly,"

"But you love me anyway."

"I do." I smiled at him running a hand over his face exhaustion settling over me from the late nights reading, and not being able to sleep because he wasn't there. Suddenly that was all I wanted to do was fall asleep cuddled in his arms, "Take me to bed Castle." I murmured against his neck.

"Demanding, aren't we?" his voice lacked any bite to it.

"I'm just so tired."

"Glad I'm not the only one," he shifted both us to the edge of the chair so that my feet could find the floor as he pushed us both upright, "I couldn't sleep without you."

"Do you want to come back to the precinct?" The question escaped my lips before I had a chance to actually think about it as we walked into the bedroom.

He however didn't miss a beat, "Do you want me there?" He handed me a clean t-shirt of his and waited for my answer.

"I liked having you there… but I need you here more." My fingers sank into the cotton as if it was a lifeline.

"If you could have both?"

"I would hear so many stories." It was the only answer I could come up with.

He smiled chuckling at me coming closer to me and undoing the buttons of my shirt for me, since I didn't seem to be making any progress on getting ready for bed, "And you like when I tell stories." He pushed the shirt off my shoulders before reclaiming the t-shirt he'd given me to pull over my head. When my head popped through, he leaned in and brushed a kiss over my lips, "It's totally up to you. You want me to come into the precinct and research I will, you want me to research by just talking to you at dinner and playing video games I will, but I'm not going anywhere."

"If you come back to the precinct do we still get all the other steps?" I finally kicked myself into action shoving my arms through the sleeves so that I could undo my pants and wiggle out of those too.

"Other steps?" he asked genuinely curious in his own exhaustion.

"Moving in, engagement, wedding, babies," I reminded him, pulling back the covers on his massive bed to crawl in.

He got in on the other side, settling himself into the pillow opening his arms for me, so that I could wrap myself around him like usual. "Yeah," it floated from his lips, "yeah, those things are non-negotiable."

Resting my head on his chest, I wrapped an arm around his waist, slipped, and leg between his, "Ok." I blinked sleepily.

"Ok?"

"Come to the precinct. Tell me stories every day."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I nodded just a little bit against him. "I'll talk to Gate's but you're going to have to convince her."

"Just wait till she sees how much better your close rate is with me."

I smacked him lightly, chuckling, as I drifted off, "I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

><p><strong>I suppose I should tell you that this is the penultimate chapter and hope that encourages you to review. I really would love to hear your thoughts on this so if you could drop me a line I'd love it. Even if it's just a line from the show.<strong>

**Babyrose**


	21. Final Pieces

**Thank yo guys so much for your support while writing this. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it, it means so much to me that you went on this journey with me. **

**Sadly I don't own Castle expect in the sense that I obsess over them to the point sometimes that you'd think they were my real friends.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 20 – Final Pieces<span>

Captain Victoria Gates had made her bones in Internal Affairs. She came from a cop family, went to college got a degree in criminal justice and psychology, and then she enrolled in the police academy. Just like every other member of her family, who were all serving in various capacities across the city. Despite knowing all this, and having meet her once before, I was unprepared for my meeting with the new captain of the 12th precinct.

I'm not sure I'd even said anything besides my name before she's gestured for me to take a seat and then she'd began what I suppose could be a tirade, but mostly it just felt like a strict outlining and understanding of the rule book. We'd been three minutes into it when I'd determined that I wasn't going to be able to just sweet talk my way back, or even convince her that I was helpful. So instead, I'd spent the last twenty-seven minutes cataloging the changes in the office from when Montgomery was here, she'd moved the desk. Every now and then, I would sneak a glance through the window out into the bullpen just to see what Kate was doing.

It was something different every time, her head was down as she worked on paper work pen to paper, she was gone to get more coffee, laughing talking with the boys who'd stopped to say hi, glaring at her computer, or at this moment checking her phone. Maybe I'd been watching a little too long though because Captain Gates was clearing her throat standing, "I'm sure you understand Mr. Castle but I can't just have you running amok in my precinct just because you want to spend time in with your girlfriend." She held out a hand, smiling, clearly confident that her reasoning was beyond reproach and there was no way I was going to get around her.

Standing as well I grasped her hand, "Thank you Sir, but I assure you the goal isn't to spend time with Kate. I have a story to be told and I need the information behind it to be as solid as possible so I'll be talking to your superiors." I gave her my smile reserved for when someone thought they'd beaten me but really had no idea of what I'm capable of.

Instead of the usual fear the people get when I say something like that though, she released my hand, "I wouldn't expect any less."

So I nodded, I was just going to have to get in and then impress her with my usefulness. I left her office making my way over to Kate that was still trying to do something with her phone. Clearly it was unimportant though as she set it aside as soon as I came into her line of sight. "How'd it go?" She asked.

"Wow. That Gates… she's…" I searched for the right words to cover the level of distain and simultaneous admiration I had for the woman that was now Kate's boss.

Kate fortunately laughed, "She's something, that's for sure."

"Lunch?" I asked hopeful that the fiddling around on her phone meant that she didn't have work to do.

She nodded standing, opening her top drawer to pull out her gun and badge, "Have I mention how hot that is?" I dropped my voice for her ears only as she holstered the weapon on her hip.

Grinning saucily, she righted herself, "This is one of the reasons your meeting didn't go well," she told me matching my tone before calling over the boys, "I'll be back in an hour, I've got my cell."

"I didn't say it didn't go well."

"Did it?" She raised her eyebrows seriously questioning my statement.

"Well, isn't the right adjective."

She chortled pushing the elevator button, "So what is the right adjective to describe your meeting with Iron Gates?"

I thought for a moment, "Informative," was what I settled on as the elevator doors open.

"Informative?"

"Well I think she knows that if this is where I want to be then I'll be here."

"You're powers of persuasion are legendary," she teased looping her arm through mine as we made our way out into sidewalk, using it to steer me towards whatever restaurant she was feeling.

"I think she knows that I'm going to go above her head to get it done, and she's looking forward to playing that game with me, prove that she lays down the law."

"So what are you going to do call the commissioner ask him to allow you in?"

"Naw the commissioner lost two hundred bucks to me last week at our poker game, besides that's where she's expecting me to go, she's probably already contacted him, made her case."

"Ok, so now who?"

"The same person I went to last time when I wanted to shadow you." She frowned, Montgomery had let me into the precinct easily last time but he's not actually who I'd contacted in the first place. Rather than leaving her to stew in her own turmoil, "I'll give the mayor a call after lunch."

She laughed, the tension leaving her body just as quickly as it came, "And he'll get you into the precinct, just because you want to?"

I nodded opening the restaurant door, "Yeah, because we're friends, I donate to his campaign and we play poker together. That and he loves Nikki Heat," I winked at her, "so he'll beside himself that I'm bringing her back."

"That's all it'll take?" She asked skeptically.

Hand over my heart I mimicked being hit, garnering a laugh. "You wound me detective, I'm calling the mayor to be able to come in and work with you every day, to tell you stories, and now you doubt my abilities."

Her eyes glittered with mirth, "You goofy man." She pressed a kiss to my cheek to sitting down at the table, "So the Mayor will take care of it?"

"Yeah, he'll call her tell her an multitude of reasons why it's good for the precinct, the city and himself, tell her there isn't a way out of it and she'll just have to deal."

"That is not going to make her your fan."

"Not the goal," I shrugged. "I'll work on that after I get in but I have to get in first and she's not going to just let that happen, so I'll short circuit the game." I smiled, the waiter appearing at just the right moment to take our drink orders.

"Thank you." She smiled at me before ducking behind her menu, deciding on her lunch.

It was my turn to ask question, "For what?"

"Taking care of the details for coming back."

"Hey," I stroked my fingers down her hand getting her eyes to come up and meet mine, "You want me there I'm there, but I get something out of this too."

"You do?"

"A renewed friendship with Ryan and Esposito, my life has been sorely lacking knucklehead detectives," I told her with a straight face.

"Rick…" She groaned.

"And of course research time on my favorite character to date with the muse that inspired it all."

She bit her lip and looked at me just so sweetly, "You're too good to me."

"Only as good as you warrant."

"Castle…" Exasperated.

"Fine I'm too good for you, let me just tweet that so that the world knows," I teased, going for my phone.

She laid a hand over my wrist stilling my movements, "I'm serious."

I winked and laid my free hand over hers, "I know you are." Until the waiter cleared his throat standing just far enough away to not interrupt the eye contact with his tray of drinks.

* * *

><p>Sunset at the beginning of August in New York is generally still hot, and as an added bonus, the bugs have come out from where ever they were hiding during the heat of the day. But once the sun actually sets, the air takes on the feeling of a warm blanket, in soothing kind of way. Which was why when I let myself into her apartment I wasn't surprised to find her nowhere inside. Climbing the book lined stairs I opened the door onto her rooftop patio, it wasn't huge but there was a room for a table for two and lounge chair and a few plants, and a smattering of lanterns, candles, and fairy lights. It was definitely the selling point for her little apartment.<p>

She was leaning against the railing in jeans that she'd warn to work, judging that they were meant to go with heels and she'd cuffed them to accommodate the flip-flops now on her feet, and a floaty summer tank top, hair cascading down her back. It was little moments like this when she looked so soft and inviting that hit me hardest. I loved that she was tough as nails, demanding, and powerful, but when she was everyone of those things and you couldn't see any of it because in the moment she was just Kate. I felt like my heart might actually fall out.

She'd heard me open the door, I'm sure, but she'd made no move to acknowledge my presence so I crossed the small space to her. Pressing my front to her back wrapping my arms around her waist, I pressed a kiss to her neck. "Hello gorgeous."

She hummed, turning her head to catch me with a kiss, "Hey there handsome."

"Whatcha doing out here?"

"Just watching, thinking…" She trailed off settling against me, "How was your day?"

I squeezed her a little bit tighter, "Horrible."

"Horrible?"

"We went dorm room shopping this afternoon." I groaned remembering the pro-con list for three different bed sets. She chuckled softly, "Hey I'm distraught here!"

"Sorry," she whispered, "it's just you'd think that someone had forced you to get a colonascopy from your tone. Besides shopping to supply a dorm room should be completely up your alley."

"Oh don't get me wrong I bought her everything she could possibly need, probably too much, but you've obviously never been shopping with Alexis for the home and two…"

"… it means she's really moving out." She finished for me.

"Yeah." I sighed, just clinging to her, using her as my lifeline out of despair at being and empty nester.

There were a few minutes of silence before she spoke again. "Have you heard from the mayor?"

I smiled now glad for the change of subject and because I'd had a rather amusing conversation with Bob before the shopping trip, where he had called Iron Gates a variety of interesting versions of 'stick in the mud.' "Apparently Gates has requested that my presence in the 12th not be allowed until she has had the chance to meet with him face to face."

"She didn't." I could hear the shock and amusement in her voice even though it was quiet and full of contentment.

"She did, Bob can't figure out why. She knows that he's going to make her do it anyway."

"She's covering her own ass, that way when you get shot she can say that she did everything in her power to keep you out of the precinct."

"They're still going to make me sign all that paperwork that says the same thing."

"Paperwork doesn't mean anything when the top story on the news is best selling mystery novelist Richard Castle was shot today while following NYDP detectives." She was teasing me.

"That's why I have my vest, or rather you still have my vest." I smiled smugly.

"Umm." She hummed with a deep breath, "So when do you think you'll be back filling out the paper work?"

"Next week?"

"Do you want to start after that or wait until you've got Alexis moved into school?"

"She moves in Saturday after next," I thought about it.

"So you should spend your last week with her at home hanging out with her," Kate decided for me.

"That sounds reasonable and horribly depressing all at once."

"But then you can come with me."

"That sounds wonderful." I turned my nose into her hair inhaling the scent that always clung there, closing my eyes, just holding her.

The sky was darker and the sounds off evening had faded away into the late night traffic noises of the city that never sleeps before either of us made a move. Turning in my arms, she looped her own around my neck, combing her fingers through my hair, "I'm going to miss this."

"Miss what?"

"This roof top deck."

"Why?"

She looked amused, stretching up on her toes to press a kiss my jaw, "Because I won't be here next year."

And that's when I caught on, deciding to follow her lead, "Why is that?"

"Well my lease is up in September, and I was thinking about moving."

"Really, where were you thinking about moving to? Because I'll be happy to help with packing and moving furniture."

She smiled moving to run a hand down the front of my shirt stopping to toy with a button, "Well there's this place I really like in SoHo…" she trailed off lifting her eyes to meet mine biting her lip nervously, "if it's still available."

Relief, joy, happiness, amusement, love all rushed through my veins as I crushed, my lips down onto hers, snaking my hands down over her waist to settle on her hips, boosting her up onto the edge so that I could step between her legs as they wound around my own waist.

It was several minutes before I was able to get myself together enough to pull back and look at her, "It' is most definitely still available."

"And Alexis is ok with it?" she asked struggling to regulate her breathing

"I don't see why she wouldn't be." Asking Alexis hadn't actually occurred to me, I'd been so wrapped up in her leaving. "We'll ask"

"And your mother?"

"And my mother…" I paused, "do you think we can get her to move out?"

"Why? So we can have sex all over the place without worrying about her?"

"Your mind is in the gutter"

She kissed me again, softer, "Says the man that has me boosted up on the edge of a nine story building."

"Hey! I'm holding on."

"I know you are but maybe we should at least aim for the lounge chair. I'd hate for anything to fall over the edge." She was grinning but she did have a point, given that her shirt was shoved up and mine was already unbuttoned, added to the fact that she was rotating her pelvis against mine ever so slightly.

"Right. Moving." I wasn't going to set her down, so I just carried her over to lounge settling down with her in my lap, "Where were we?" I asked latching on to the plus point of her neck.

"Your mother… me moving in?"

"I would say mood killer but then you added that last piece." I told her pulling off her shirt.

"If Martha wants' to stay I want her to feel welcome to Rick, I don't want her to feel like she has to leave."

Her genuine concern over my mother's living arrangements tipped the scale, I couldn't focus on that anymore, "Oh god you have no idea how much I love you," I kissed her, "We'll talk about my mother later." I told her skating my hands down her body to toy with the button on her jeans.

"Later," she gasped in agreement when my hand slipped over the waistband.

* * *

><p><strong>Well what are your thoughts on the final chapter?<strong>

**Also I know many of you expressed interest in seeing them go through all the steps so if I were to write a squeal touching/dealing with those things would you be interested?**

**Thank you for reading and welcoming me so nicely to the Castle fan fic world, it means so much to me.**

**Your humble author,**

**Babyrose**


	22. Epilouge

**Just to tie it all together properly.**

* * *

><p><span>Epilogue<span>

Alexis was at orientation, I'd moved her in yesterday, my mother was at her acting school working with high schoolers, and Kate was at work filing paperwork. This meant that I was moping in my apartment with a blank word document and no inspiration.

Then my phone rang, and I don't think I've ever been so grateful in my life. "Castle," I answered.

"I know you're moping but we've got a body, if you want to join." She asked crisply through the phone the detective voice carrying across.

"Yeah, yeah I definitely want to join."

"Alright meet us at 97th and Lex"

"See you there," I told her, giddy with excitement as I closed the phone glancing at the clock which told me there was still early enough in the morning that a cup of fresh coffee would be appreciated by my coffee fiend.

* * *

><p>She was waiting at the barricade when the cab pulled up. "There you are." She smiled happily, "You remember the rules?" She's been listing them off as they came to her all week.<p>

"Yes I remember the rules Kate."

"Beckett." She corrected, "at work it's Beckett, we don't hold hands, or kiss, touch, we don't say 'I love you' randomly…" she rolled her eyes, "and we don't do gooey looks."

I shrugged, handing her the cup of coffee I'd brought, "And I'm saying we still do this."

"Do what?" She looked perplexed

"I bring you your morning coffee and get a kiss hello when it's appropriate," I leaned in and gave her a peck on the cheek.

She rolled her eyes but smiled, "Fine," she took a sip of the coffee, "Ready Castle?"

"Lead on Detective," I smiled back.

She nodded turned on her heel and made her way over the crime scene ducking the tape efficiently, leaving me to follow. "Alright boys what have we got?"

* * *

><p><strong>Alright that really is all but keep your eyes peeled you've convinced me to write the steps out.<strong>

**Thank you again!**

**Babyrose**


End file.
